DH is having his corneal transplant tomorrow. This Doctor gave specific instructions for pre-op eye drops, ie four times a day, four hours apart second drops five minutes later. He has no problem with all but one nurse who just doesn't follow instructions very well. Both the four p.m. Didn't get done until after four thirty and then only because I reminded DH and he went to the desk and had a big fight with the nurse who still tried to pop poo him to wait. The floor nurse was there and just let thus happen. I called him and made it very clear that this wasn't a cataract surgery but a transplant and that the Doctor was adamant about times and spaces between drops. I also told him that I knew he was sitting there when the battle was on and did nothing. The nurse then went and talked to DH and the next drops were on time. DH asked him how the other nurses followed instructions and he must know something they didn't. It must be terrible for a resident that has no one to speak for them. I know some of them think I am a real bi*t*ch but I couldn't care less. I am really pleasant with them but when they don't do their job and it us important like meds, I step in. Most times he can handle it but now he gets so upset and gets " brain tired". they are just giving him relaxing meds not a general and it starts at 07:45 and he will be taken back by patient transfer just after ten. He has to stay laying flat for twenty four hours. I am hoping to go to see him around 13:00 hr.
Your topic on being an advocate rings a bell with me.......... I remember the time when I had my Dear Helen in a nice care home and one of my daughters who lived 60 miles away would come to visit her about once a month.
She would raise hell with the staff over every little thing and would tell me her mother needed an advocate. She really didn't understand the complete situation and when I tried to reason with her she would say that I was being an advocate for the rest home instead of our Dear Helen.
My other daughter, who lived nearby and visited often, completely agreed with me that the staff was very caring and doing their best.
So, Jazzy........It seems like your DH's situation is quite different and I think you are handling it very well ......... Since you used the word "advocate", I had to tell this story.
I've said many a time that I can't imagine what happens to patients who are confused, vulnerable, exhausted, in pain, frightened...whatever...when they don't have a good friend or family member to help them. An advocate. I think a lot of patients just fall between the cracks and simply don't do as well and have bad outcomes because they need someone to speak up for them and there is no one. Very scary.