I will start the October thread! October came in with some winds last night that covers the cars with dust. Then it rained just enough to make your car look like you have been 4 wheeling in the mud! The day was cool but sunny.
Last month was an eye opener. I saw a lot of his losses. I have learned to do things when he is not home. Twice last week I was trying to explain how to do something - something simple for and use to be for him - and he blew up telling me stop yelling at him. My voice was raised some but I am not yelling. The second time I told him 'I'm not yelling you are. I am about ready to send you to a nursing home! (should not have said)'. He got a surprised look on his face. The water is all set except for covering the faucet which can't be done until I dump my tomatoes. They are in the bucket I stick over the faucet. As long as they are still ripening, I won't dump them. I got the curtain up across the front. Just have to change the curtain on the door to the heavier one and put the electric blanket on the bed.
I dug out a string of Christmas lights and hung along the side of the motorhome so when I take the dog out now I don't have to carry a flashlight if I don't want to.
Surprising hb is asking about the day care he goes to. Wanted to know if he was going back. I told him yes, he has been going for 5 months to which he was shocked! On Thursday if my surgery is early, a guy in the park will stay with him until the bus picks him up. I changed his day from Friday to Thursday. The guy was willing to entertain him all day but I don't think he knows what that really would entail. If I am not home before the bus brings him back he will meet the bus and stay with him until I get home. I haven't made plans if by some chance I couldn't come home but my friend who is taking me (the same one that took me every other time and I take her to medical procedures) has our son's phone number to call in case. Thinking positive all will go as planned and be back home in 5 hours.
Today has been a nightmare with his watch - always is when it is not a 31 day month. I had it set this morning then he somehow changed the day of the week. Got that changed, then this evening it had gotten changed again. Wish he would just leave it alone but he plays with it and his phone. He is having trouble telling time on his watch and the digital isn't much better. Otherwise the time concept sometimes gets lost in his mind.
To Charlotte...........I really enjoy reading your posts. For some reason, for me, it's like snooping into another persons life. You are so honest and true and I can relate to all of it. I also like your profile. You let it all out, and I feel like I know you.
To Wolf...............Thanks for the link to that great PBS Nova video. You certainly have a talent for finding these amazing scientific videos. I have my big TV connected to my computer as a monitor and can enjoy them while lounging in my recliner.
More winterizing today. The cable and internet were out all day - 10+ hours (some car crashed their box) so had no excuse not to. Got the curtain over the door changed to the comforters that I put shower curtain rings in and hang it across the door. Also, redid the foam weather stripping we had between the door and screen door. The door is warped so we fill it up to cut down air blowing through. Got the heavy duty extension cord run through the window that we use for our electric heater which allows us to run on high without taxing the motorhome electrical. Last year I bought a 30 amp to 120 adapter for the extension cord. Ran it through the window and taped up the open space. Also put the plastic over the window by the sink to keep the cold air from blowing through it. Need to get to storage and find the big piece of bubble foil we wrap around our bedroom slide - maybe will do that tomorrow. Can't finish the water until I give up on my tomato plant which is planted in the bucket I put over the faucet.
I bought clippers for the dog. Gave her first haircut today - looks good for first time. I like her nose and chin short, top of head about a 1/2 inch and feet shaved to cut down dirt tracked in. Usually only pay to get her cut once for the summer and let her grow the rest of the year except trimming her feet by hand. This way I won't have to trim her by hand. She will grow out now until I can use my left arm.
Things are pretty well set for Thursday. When I called the surgical center yesterday they said the surgery would not be until afternoon. When I scheduled it, it was for morning. Went into stress mode, called the doctors office. He only does half days on Thursday, the girl that told me morning was filling in while his was on vacation. So I am scheduled to be there at 10, surgery at noon unless he gets done with hospital rounds earlier. Figure I will be home by 4 so Leonard won't have that long to hand out with hb unless he wants to since the bus doesn't bring him home until 3:15 or later. Bought frozen meals for him and put in neighbors freezer outside.
I received this email from two different Old Friends the same day and I liked it so much
that I wanted to share it with my friends here. I don't know who wrote it.
OLD FRIENDS
Old friends are like quilts-they age with you, yet never lose their warmth.
I have seen too many dear friends leave this world, too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging.
Whose business is it, if I choose to read, or play on the computer, until 4 AM, or sleep until noon? I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 50s, 60s & 70s, and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love, I will.
I will walk the beach, in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body, and will dive into the waves, with abandon, if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the jet set. They, too, will get old.
I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten. And, eventually, I remember the important things.
Sure, over the years, my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break, when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when somebody's beloved pet gets hit by a car?
But broken hearts are what gives us strength, and understanding, and compassion. A heart never broken, is pristine, and sterile, and will never know the joy of being imperfect.
I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turn gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face. So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver.
As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don't question myself anymore. I've even earned the right to be wrong.
So, to answer your question, I like being old. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be.
And I shall eat dessert every single day (if I feel like it).
EDITED .......... I JUST FOUND OUT THAT I HAD SENT THIS A LONG TIME AGO...... I TRIED TO DELETE IT
Surgery went well. Got some pretty pictures but will have to wait until post op to have him explain. my friend couldn't remember. Now just waiting for the block to wear off so I can use my hand and feel the pain! (not really). hb has been really helpful. Now to figure out how to get a shirt under the sling cause the velcro is hurting in spots.
(1) Can anyone tell me how to add a picture to my account/profile page? The picture is on my cell phone. The instructions say: "You can enter any valid URL to an image here, such as: http://www.mywebsite.com/myaccountpicture.jpg. Your account picture will appear on your account page." I'm not sure what that means. Do I have to have a website in order to add a picture? (I do not have my own website.)
(2) Is there anyway to edit the title of a discussion? I misspelled the word "hurricane."
Charlotte, I couldn't do it. I think I was able to upload the picture on the tinypics site - at least it appeared on the right side of the upload screen. The screen gave me 4 choices. I copied the location info for one of the choices (forums and message boards) into the Picture space on my alzspouse Account Profile and clicked on Save but nothing happened. Then I xed that out and copied a different choice (websites) into the Pictures space on my alzspouse Account Profile and clicked Save but nothing happened with that, either.
Try going back to the picture itself at the source and right click on it. If you have a 'properties' option click that. That shows the address of the picture itself. Now copy that whole address and paste that into the picture space on the alzspouse Account Profile and save that.
If you get an 'inspect' option tell me and I'll walk you through that.
Thanks, cassie. It gives one hope. I see that Mim's Profile looks the same way. Mim, I'm glad I'm not the only one mystified by this whole thing. Now I realize why so few people have photos on the Profiles.
Charlotte and other technically adept folks, I have another question. I notice that some people, like mary75*, have their picture showing next to their comments, whereas others, like Charlotte, only show if you click on their Profile. (I want to choose the Profile-only option, as Charlotte did.) If I ever do figure out how to get the picture on my Profile, will there be a prompt showing me how to do this?
Charlotte actually uses both. Try seeing what I said above. I'm sure we can do this together.
I may as well answer the other question. For profile only you paste that address into the profile line, for it to show up on the board you paste it into the icon line below that.
2nd edit - just to expand. The location address and the web address are NOT the picture address. That address almost always ends in .jpg which identifies it as a picture file address. You right click on the picture to get it's actual source and that source is either in 'properties' or in 'inspect' most of the time.
Mim, right-click on the picture on the tinypics site and then click on "Copy." Then go to your Profile and paste (by whatever method you use) into the picture space. Now look at what you have pasted and make sure it does not contain two "http://" thingies at the beginning. If it does contain two of them, then delete one of them, then click "Save" on the Profile page. It took me a couple of tries. Let me know what happens.
May I ask where are the photos of the faces of the disappointed posters? Other than mary75:*, I've not seen any pics. So I think my humble shed is nothing for which I need to apologize. And yes, I can open the doors and show you the inside but first I have to explain what has been going on in my corner of Dementiaworld. Will do that tomorrow. Meanwhile, post your pics!
Thanks, mary75*, yes, I did but I'm not sure they made a difference. A lot has been going on with him. I'm going to update on the "Spouse in Residence" thread.
Although the visit with my husband's family went well, it completely exhausted me. In addition, the cold I got 4 weeks ago never cleared up and I have been hacking away violently (and often disgustingly) for all that time. The doctor fit me in early this morning and diagnosed a sinus infection so I'm on antibiotics, which should do the trick. First thing next week, I'll tackle the walking issue again.
Glad that you got through that Myrtle (and with such dignity, I wouldn't have been so accommodating.) My thoughts are not pleasant towards those that had no time for my husband. It was good to hear that your husband reacted well to the visit and seemingly enjoyed it. Hope that your health improves soon and that you find an answer to the walking issue. I would post a pic but I feel a bit like Elizabeth and would hate any one I know, to know that this is me!
Isn't it sad that we have to hide and we loss such helpfull people as elizabeth for one. I miss her and now I see that so many others are gone as well.
Oh, if people have specific dietary needs a list of supermarkets and restaurants should be handy to give to them. While I always try to accommodate guests I can't provide for certain needs. Then again I have very few guests, they are all well behaved and I get at least one free meal from them.
I have set up a Caringbridge.com account for my wife. I have sent invitations to join it to a number of her friends. Some have and hopefully they will become more active in her care. But is up to them to check out the site. Not everyone joined but I realize that I might have bad e-mail addresses and some people don't click on links they get in e-mail (a wise security habit). I find it makes easier by not having to update these people individually on how my wife is doing.
Jazzy, I still miss elizabeth*, too. She was kind of an anchor here. I hope she reads these posts now and then. cassie*, That's the same reason I did not want to post my own pic.
Charlotte, How are you doing? Do you have much pain and are you able to manage Art and the motor home? And Jasmine, too. A lot of responsibility for someone just out of surgery.
My shoulder is doing fine. Pain is not bad. I usually only take something at bedtime now. I am doing my passive exercises 3 times a day - getting better at putting the sling back on as long as i don't loose the strap that goes over my shoulder.. Showering was a challenge but figured it out - air dry where you can't reach!! The hardest and most frustrating is going to the bathroom - pants hang up on left hip! A woman in the park gave me some cammys which i had never worn, had no idea what I would do with them but I now live in them! They are stretchy so can pull them down then back up with the spag strap going over my shoulder (with hb help) - love not wearing a bra! my biggest challenge has been my arm sweating and stinging in the sling and against my body. Tried zinc creme - helped some. Tried medicate powder (dr office suggested) which was worse - itched like crazy! Wiped it off and put coconut oil (3 times a day) which has worked great. I also have a cotton cloth between my arm and cammy. I had to go back and get a different sling - my elbow wouldn't stay in. This one isn't perfect but am figuring out how to keep it in there. If it stays cooler, after my post op tomorrow I will find a top with a sleeve I can cut off and pull up my arm to see if that will work to keep it dry. It is a challenge - at times i wonder what I was thinking!
This has shown me - again - how much he has lost. I got 7 inches cut off hoping that would work vs getting my hair cut short. He couldn't figure out how to put it in a pony tail. Our power was out for three hours Tuesday evening which confused him. Was nice out, moon was bright so took him for a walk - chatted with all the others that were out since they couldn't watch TV! A lady down from us who is new to RV life called in a panic because she had no power.Thought she had overloaded her circuits - flipped all he breakers. Told her no one else had power either. Says: "but I see lights on". Me: that's because we live in RVs and those lights run off your batteries. Stopped by, tried to explain she could leave her furnace on (was forecast to be 32 that night) because it runs off the batteries. She said: it uses propane and electric to light it. Don't think I ever got her to fully understand the igniter and fan run off the battery power. Oh well!
Believe it or not, my biggest frustration with him is over the bed. I waited 20 years to find a bedspread I liked and could afford. A few weeks ago I found it at a thrift store. I took it in on the corners so it would not trip him as he went around hoping he wouldn't tuck it in - no such luck. He has a habit of tucking in the covers instead of pulling them up which ends up with the sheet and blankets to far down. I like to pull the covers up over my shoulders which is hard to do with one arm now! I also put the electric blanket on which means the plug hangs out where you may hit it walking by. He tucks it under. Twice in the last week I have been in tears over it. I remade the bed (not easy with one hand) pulling about 12 inches back out. Took the new bedspread off - put old raggity one back on. Had my pity party, told him I would save it until he is not around. He asked when I wanted him to leave but I held my tongue.
I am not a frilly girlie person, but the new one was colorful adding color to a drab room. The whole motorhome is shades of brown - tired of it. The most color is the braided rug and a black indoor/outdoor carpet we bought at costco to put over the old tan carpet. I know it shouldn't upset me so much since him tucking in the blankets is nothing new. Guess I am just tired of this drab life and wanted some life, especially with everything outside dying!
Jasmine - she pooped two nights in a row despite having just been out less than an hour before. The second night don't know if she pooped twice or two different places. I found the second pile when I stepped in it. Yelled for hb to come help which was a mistake. Between being half asleep and no glasses and/or confused he smeared it more into my toes making me mad at both him and the dog. Somehow made it to the shower to wash my foot which was not easy balancing on one foot and rinsing my foot. Needless to say Jas was in the dog house the rest of the day. The last two nights she has not even wanted to go out when I get like she use to.
Thanks for letting us know how you are managing. You're coping magnificently as usual, and making an interesting read for the rest of us. You could have done without Jasmine's comment(s).
Bama, it was good to see you posting again. Are you still wearing your sexy jeans and causing concern to that older women in the new community you moved to? I remember you said you were going to be extra nice to her. How did that work? The another comment you made that I remember was early on, and you said something like, "I'ld like to see his skinny ass in the car driving away." Or something like that.
Remember, Mary how Bama used to say that she woud just, "pull up her big girl bloomers" and get on with whatever ordeal she had to face. Perhaps she is into G-strings now, to match the jeans! It was good to see your name again, so hello to you Bama.
Cassie, yes, I remember, and sometimes that is exactly what we had — and still have to — do. What good, helpful people we've always had on this site. And everyone contributes in their own unique way.
Going back several days, about the picture thing...I think maybe I've changed my mind. I don't even post many personal pictures on Facebook. Actually, I'm not very photogenic! :)
Yesterday was a perfect day here. A combination of two seasons. Annual vines (mandevilla , bouganvilla, hyacinth bean) still blooming, warm temp and bright sun combined with spectacular fall colors on the trees. I had the thought that this.was so perfect that it might be the last day of my life. But I woke up this morning still alive and ready to put a pair of poopy khakis out on the patio and hose them down.
Mim, I'm sorry we won't see your picture. I remember that elizabeth said you looked like a movie star! Even if she was exaggerating, it would be nice to see that someone I know still looks nice. How are you feeling these days?
Charlotte, I sympathize about the bedspread. Like you, I am not a frilly girly person but I just love nice bed linens. People always say we should take care of ourselves and giving ourselves some color and beauty is part of that. But It's hard to do that when Alzheimer's gets in the way. I would have been in tears about it, too.
cassie, I have a picture of the inside of the shed but had trouble posting it. I am behind on my work so I won't be able to try again for a few days. Will let you know when I succeed.