Hello everyone. I am into month four since my husband died and still experiencing profound fatigue. Some days I can get a bit of energy to do things I like such as my garden. Overall, though I still feel completely physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually exhausted from my care-giver years. A big part of me screams "rest" and I have to fight not staying in my pjs all day lounging in the sun and/or shade.
I am eating and sleeping well but still running on no reserves anymore it seems.
I think others here can relate and I really need to hear what I am experiencing is "normal" as part of the outcome of this disease. I get scared sometimes thinking I will never get enough energy back to live rather than exist.
For those of you that struggled with fatigue how long before you started feeling better? If we do get better that is.
I am still having days where I just stay in my pjs. Still in them now, 108 heat index outside why would I get dressed and go anywhere! I do get up and take care of things. I still have a dog and cat and they keep me going. :) Silly me thought after a year I would be better. I found the second year worse. The last few months have been better.
Yes you need rest, as much and as long as you need. No time frame. No normal.
It was the beginning of the third year for me, to start feeling some what normal. But I am starting to think I will never go back to the person I was before. Who knows.
It's been just over a year for me, but the stress is still constant. I have been trying to 'get back to normal' - i.e. walking, etc., but it is not easy. One blessing is that at least we know our spouses are beyond the pain and anxiety of this disease. That should, somehow, relieve some of our stress.
I bought Julie Cameron's book 'It's Never Too Late to Begin Again' suggested by Elizabeth, and it looks very interesting. Every time I begin, some crisis happens, but I am determined to work with the exercises, and try to 'move on'. I feel my husband and yours when their minds were sound would want us to.
I wish you the very best, Katherine. This is a hard road.
I've been thinking about this question since you posted it, Katherine, and I can't quite put a time frame on it. It has been/is a very gradual thing, with some days being better and some days being worse. I know that during the first year I very consciously tried to wear things that I could at least answer the door in, because I didn't feel like getting dressed either. I would sleep in my flannel night gowns (cold weather) or my long tee-shirt-like night shirts (warm weather)...knew I could not answer the door in those. So I would get up and try to make myself brush my hair and teeth, even if I couldn't force myself to shower. Then I would put on something like leggings or stretchy cotton pants with some kind of tunic on top--not really an "outfit" so to speak, but very comfortable...like pajamas would be...and covered up enough to answer the door or throw on a coat and go buy milk and bread. I didn't really get moving in a meaningful way until I got the puppy at 16 and a half months out.
I have to say I do not think I really had a lot of fatigue like you are describing. For me the bad days now are more like just feeling out of sorts and not together and not wanting to leave the house. I cannot even say it is profound depression. I have found that the morning pages as described in Julie Cameron's book have helped me. Been doing that for about 6 weeks. It seems to help my anxiety and relieve my mind from the constant chattering. Some days tho I find myself just "going through the motions" of my life and many, many days when I get no phone calls from anyone including my kids. But then I do not expect them to call. Even the so called new people I have met since he passed do not call that much. I suppose once we get into cooler weather that may change. As I stated in another thread I have joined a couple new church groups and have developed an interest in bird watching and have signed up for a hike in a couple weeks. For me the socialization thing is the hardest thing to deal with. My nature I am more introverted so meeting new people and engaging them is not easy for me. I realize I have to get out there and not wait for people to call.