Today DH told me that he is unable to focus on short radio news casts. He says he has trouble retaining what is being said. He is also having trouble getting what he wants to tell us that is in his brain out of his mouth into a sentence. I noticed that he is also unable to remember short term and also long term. He will be looking at photos in the albums and now he can't recognize Aunts and Uncle that he was very close to growing up. Television programs that are fast moving are not his thing anymore as he gets confused and anxious. Golf and curling are all he watches now, along with Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy. So hard to watch these changes. Breaks my heart. I would like to have a magic wand and just wish it away. Jazzy
Ditto it is so hard to watch. I find it difficult to find anything we can do. Tv totally beyond her but I do put on music and she dances around the house which is great to see. Tried animal shows, musical shows etc. ReAding forget it She always asks of she can help so this morning asked her to put some water In The kettle totally beyond her. She wants to go out but take her shopping and unless she buys some clothes I am no fun and a meany even though she is a small she will just grab things off the rack even if it as extra large and then get mad at me because she cannot have it. Usually buy some small things or just let her put them in cart then put the back. What a live we lead.
most of our viewing is: baseball, football, hockey, family feud, deal no deal, and westerns. He doesn't remember what just happened but they are shows he can enjoy at the moment. The westerns are all ones we watched starting from childhood so there is still some connection as to what is going on. When we went to the old car show a couple weeks ago, he could no longer remember the names of many cars. Where he once could tell the difference between 53, 54, 55, etc cars that are close in looks he no longer can.
Rona........Your story about taking her shopping reminds me of the story I wrote about taking my Dear Helen shopping, so I have to give it to you.
......Steinmart was always Helen's favorite dress store. and she loved to shop there. After the first signs of dementia showed and she quit driving, I took her to many different Steinmarts. She found that every Steinmart was different, in that they carried different clothing so we would travel all around to different cities and different stores. Four in our area and three in the Palm Springs area where we often went. ......As she progressed with her dementia, she eventually forgot about Steinmart along with everything else. But a few months before I had to put her into long term care, I was feeling so sorry for her that I wanted to do something special. ......I took her to the local Steimart where she had spent many happy hours in the good old days. She seemed to know her way around there so I just let her alone and waited in a little sitting area near the check stands. After about a half hour, she came with some clothing in a little cart and we proceeded to the check out stand. ......The cashier lady looked at the four pretty blouses in the cart and said to her, "Are you sure you want these? They are all extra large size". When Helen did not respond, I told the lady that it was OK, we would take them anyway. The nice lady seemed to sense Helen's condition and told me, "I can have someone take them and exchange them for her correct size". I thanked her and told her that the size wouldn't make much difference. So I paid for them and we went on our way. ...... I don't think that this little Steinmart trip brought any special enjoyment to my Dear Helen. To her, it was just another routine event in another dreary day. ......For me , it was just another sad day, but at least I tried.
Do you think we are taking them to places to do the things they enjoyed before dementia because we want them back the way they were? Are we doing these things for us? I often take Kevan to the places he used to love to go then he has such a bad night. It seems to cause him such upset for a day or two that I think maybe it is best not to try to relive our memories of when he loved to go " there". Am I in denial when I take him there? He still wants to do the little jobs around the house like he used to, but he can't and gets so upset with himself and me when it doesn't turn out like it used to. He gets so frustrated. Now I just take him out for coffee then back to his new home. Sadness seems to live with us daily.
When my DH was home that last year, like Charlotte said above, the only TV shows he could stand watching were old cowboy shows, Jeopardy and Family Feud. Then he started talking to them and believed the characters on TV were in our living room. It got a bit tricky after that because sometimes he got really upset. Ultimately, he just closed himself up in his bedroom and talked to girls in magazines. I tried so many things to bring him some happiness. I tried things that we had enjoyed in the past because I thought it would trigger some memory for him and bring him happiness. Once I realized that being out in 'the world' made him too anxious, I took that option off the table. His world continued to shrink and, with it, so did mine.
Jazzy, I don't think it's denial exactly, but (IMO) it's just so difficult to accept each of their downturns. Necessary but very difficult. Your last sentence "sadness seems to live with us daily" is exactly how I feel. When I placed him in residential care, he could still sing, laugh, dance, talk, enjoy ballgames and tennis on TV, & afternoon ice cream. Now, all of that is beyond him, but I struggled with each change and it took me a while to understand that his shrunken world calmed him, even as it broke my heart again and again.