Was watching last nights episode of Junior Chopped. One of the kids was a 12 year old boy whose dad was diagnosed with Alzheimer's when he was 2. He said if he won half the money would go to some Alzheimer's organization (didn't recognize the name) that helped his family get through it. He said he wanted to because he never got to know his dad and they were there for him and his family to help fill the void. I am assuming it was the void of not having a father. He won the competition and $10,000. He said his goal is to have a burger food truck that travels the country named 'Burgers on Wheels' with a motto of 'wheely good burgers'!
Kudos and good fortune to this young man. Wheely good burgers. You gotta love it. Some people have incredible drive. I hate them. I mean, I admire them.
Yesterday I received an email from Tracy, who is the daughter of Shirley and Don..........our friends from the good old days. Tracy is the caregiver of Shirley and Don who both had Alzheimer's for many years.
Tracy had been keeping me informed of Shirley and Don's progress through this horrible journey. They were both bedridden and Don recently passed away. Tracy said she hesitated about telling her mom about Don's passing but decided she should do it.
At first, Shirley seemed confused, but after Tracy told her that they were planning a Celebration of Life for him, Shirley told her......"Oh.....I'll need to make some napkins for the party".
Yes poor Tracy. Everyone is hurt by Alzheimer's including all the children. Shirley may be lucky that the disease has robbed her of her ability to understand the meaning and Tracy has to live in a world where her father has passed and she is denied the ability to mourn with her mother. It amazes me how strong we all are even while we suffer so.
I'm watching some of the speeches from last night at the convention. Tim Kaine mentioned the need for more research into diseases such as Alzheimer's. I hope that will be so because I see no reason why we can't eventually figure this out in the same way we've figured out other diseases when bright minds are well funded.
This isn't cancer where living cells become unrecognizable and go renegade. This is basically beta amyloid plaque build-up, set up by a particular condition, that allows the plaque to build up and once it starts it keeps going. Even if the set up condition is met, there must be a switch counter that prevents that in the same way that so many similar kinds of imbalances can be corrected unfortunately usually with the risk of other side effects. We're not battling a live renegade inside us trying to survive. We're trying to change the (almost certainly) chemical state of our soup to the plaque from being able to start forming at the synapses. Alzheimer's is something we can do I believe in a not dis-similar way to what an anti-depressant does. Endorphins and dopamine are just two of the transmitters of the pharmacological soup that includes estrogen and testosterone and a host of others that all make up what we are.
There is a specific set up in that soup which does NOT allow plaque to build up even though everyone has amyloid in them. That's most people. I believe Alzheimer's has every chance of being solved one day and that's a hopeful thought because it would mean the generations of suffering from Alzheimer's specifically, would end in a similar way in which Insulin ended the dreadful suffering from diabetes.
I can't remember what thread it was on that said it's too bad we didn't know that an early sign of Alzheimer's can be a change in behavior. Yesterday I sat out in the back garden and went through the contents of an old steamer trunk I had unwisely stored in the basement. There was a strong smell of mould in the trunk, and my idea was to throw out what I no longer wanted and spread out what I did in the sunshine for the rest of the day. I found photographs, old school report cards and work done by my three kids, letters from my mother and a large envelope labeled “Eric.” His notes and cards covered a time span of nine years, from our marriage in 1986 to 2005, three years before he was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. He died in 2011. I was surprised to learn that he had loved me. His three years of anger, suspicion, paranoia and bizarre behavior had wiped that from my mind. Yes, I wish I had known at the time. So now I do.
I hope there is a path to leave more of this behind you. It's cruel what the disease can do where Frank's wife comes to mind. I'm not excusing anything in saying that. The disease however is central and causative and should bear it's share of the weight.
In a much milder form I was spitting blood in 2005 wondering why Dianne was turning into garbage. I was spitting blood because I was working up to leaving her and divorcing. Instead we moved to Kitchener which I forced to try for a different setting. When we moved she unraveled and two years later we were diagnosed and I understood her behaviour.
There are things she did and said I don't buy for an instant were dementia solely. Her personality actually did change because the machine that was in was itself changing.
That's not the same thing as abuse. I don't want to think about how I would have reacted to her behaviour plus her abuse.
Thanks for your thoughts, Wolf. We had some good years and some frightening years. Some nights I was afraid to go to sleep for fear of harm. For the time being, I find it comforting to remember the good ones.
Marg, thank you for your comment. I think you're right. I seem to be having more and more of them and at most unexpected times. It's been more than five years since his death — healing does go, on at its own pace.