I am 41 years old and I have assumed responsibility of my grandmother whom is 84 and also has dementia, I have had her for about two weeks now and am starting to learn however at the same time be very confused by her and her actions. She has been stealing things from my husband and I since the day she got here and it is getting worse and if I ask her has she seen it she tell us no and then proceeds to become upset looking for the item all over and I know for a fact that she has it. I really want to sit her down and talk to her about it however my husband feels that I should not out of fear she my become upset and then stArt lying and the reason for his fear is justified given the fact that I don't have anything to do with my family and have not for years however given the current situation now everyone wants to be around and they all have something to say. I understand she pretty much I has the mind of a adolescent however I have two sons and would like to think I have a way with them so how different could it really be. Please someone help should I or should I not sit her down and talk to her about stealing?
Sorry you are going through this. this site is for spouses only but if you are on Facebook there are excellent groups there that you can identify with. One is USAgainstAlzheimers. Memory People, and Forget Me Not. They all have members that have dementia and those caring for them or have someone they know who has it.
I will tell you, your husband is right - you can't reason with someone with dementia as their reason button is broken.
So sorry about this happening to you and your grandmother. You can not reason or explain anything to your grandmother now. Her ability to reason and understand are gone now, even if she says she understands she does not. And when people say that they are like young children, yes and no. A child's mind grows every day. With dementia it is a slow decline, and what they understood yesterday. May be gone tomorrow, even with my late husband, what he understood two hours ago would be gone later in the day.
Hope you can find help and support, look for support groups in your town.
A support group which welcomes family members caring for loved ones with dementia is FTDSupportForum.com. FTD is different from Alzheimers, but there is overlap. I'd suggest joining that forum and searching for threads on stealing. You may find other topics which will be of help also.