I am 41 years old and I have assumed responsibility of my grandmother whom is 84 and also has dementia, I have had her for about two weeks now and am starting to learn however at the same time be very confused by her and her actions. She has been stealing things from my husband and I since the day she got here and it is getting worse and if I ask her has she seen it she tell us no and then proceeds to become upset looking for the item all over and I know for a fact that she has it. I really want to sit her down and talk to her about it however my husband feels that I should not out of fear she my become upset and then stArt lying and the reason for his fear is justified given the fact that I don't have anything to do with my family and have not for years however given the current situation now everyone wants to be around and they all have something to say. I understand she pretty much I has the mind of a adolescent however I have two sons and would like to think I have a way with them so how different could it really be. Please someone help should I or should I not sit her down and talk to her about stealing?
Two things. She has dementia. You probably cannot reason with her. She may not know what she is doing. Her impulse control is probably weak.
The other item is that this board is only for people caring for spouses with dementia. There are other places for people caring for parents and grandparents. There are a number of very good Facebook dementia groups and you should seek them out. I also recommend joining a face to face dementia support group, check with your local Alzheimer's Association.
From Joan - www.alz.org has message boards that suit the needs of grandchildren caring for grandparents.
I usually send a private email to a non spouse who posts on the boards, explaining our rules and why, as well as direct them to more appropriate websites for their needs. Thank you so much for saying exactly what I would have written. As you know, I haven't been up to snuff in my website job since Sid's death in June, so I really do appreciate any help my members give me.
I don't think any of you realize just how much I do appreciate whatever you do to pick up the slack. It means the world to me that so many wonderful people "have my back". It may seem like a little thing to you, but to emotionally frazzled me, it's a BIG thing.
Thank you Paul, and all of the rest of you who have helped me with emotional support, running interference for me, financial support, alerts to board issues ( sometimes you are even faster than my Message Board Monitor, and believe me, she is FAST, and an early riser.)
Because you have all been so patient with me, I am beginning to improve, and am working behind the scenes with Matt on the new design. What a huge project! I never could have done this myself. It's taking a team of professionals to do what needs to be done.
Well, I certainly have veered off topic in this thread, haven't I? But it was important to me to let everyone know how I feel about you. Maybe I will post this under a new thread.
In any case, I would appreciate it if no answers were posted to "taking care of grand". Paul said what needed to be said. Thanks.