29scorpio, I was reading your response to placing your DH in long term care. You have some of the same thoughts Ihave.I placed my DH in November. He is still talking a little, when asked a direct question. He is also a model pt., quiet, cooperative. He just sits in his recliner watching tv or just sitting. I'm concerned he's bored, but really he's not interested in much. I try to get him to play bingo, of, course he can't, but I play for him. I take him to signings wen available. I think he enjoys them. I hope you are coping better, I cried through the first month, but he has done fine throughout! It just is hard to swallow, even after yes of Carong for him that this is our life now.
Hey KY caregiver...I agree it can be alot harder for the caregiver to adjust to this "new life" with spouse in care home...it's very much like having a foot in two different worlds and not feeling completely comfortable in either...hubby has adjusted so easily, I often wonder if he isn't farther along that I thought...as a caregiver it is almost a seemless transition that as the ill partner does less and less the caregiver just adjusts and does more and more without a conscious thought given to the transition...I often felt that being so immersed in his journey, I am not really very objective with regards as to how far along he is...although I miss him terribly and find the visits still are difficult, I feel that he is getting more stimulation and engagement in different activities (at least to the degree he is able to participate) and that's a good thing...he is also being looked after by a whole team of people as opposed to one tired and stressed caregiver and that also is better for him...I have a hard time seeing his world as he sees it...to me to see what his life has become is heartbreaking yet he seems quite content in his world so I hope with time I can have an easier time of trying to see his world as he does...The one thing I am not looking forward to is when he sees the workers within the home as more like his family than I will be...Of course logical me sees that as a natural progression over time, but emotional me is not seeing it that way at all...
To those of you who placed your loved one recently in a NH. Yes, they will start to feel the staff is like their family.It's natural that they will relate more to the people they see most often.It's almost 3 years since I place my DH.He is almost completely non verbal,but he can get out a HI.or Okay or a few words to the staff.But to me, very seldom ever an acknowledgement.He gives the female staff a big smile and a wink.I am just glad he relates to them and can interact a little.He does show some jealosy when I talk with other male residents.The Dr. said that it shows he is still processing things.Please don't feel badly when feels close to staff and other residents, it's a natural progression, they feel secure.
I find it very hard to talk with my husband, we don't have much to talk about, so I try to visit wen bingo is scheduled. He can't play but enjoys interaction. Also I go to the gospel signings they have. He really enjoys them if I don't take him he doesn't go. He won't get up himself and go. I usually go every day for a couple hrs.
KYcaregiver, if I had to guess at hubbys stage, I would say a solid 6 and entering 7...I was just informed by the care home that they have given him a walker to use now and have put him on a pureed diet due to his swallowing issues and tendency to pocket food in his cheek rather than swallow it...I think I would say he's entering stage 7 or in it already due to the fact that he depends totally on others for all aspects of his life...he wouldn't do anything for himself if left to his own devices, I think he would just sit and stare at people, the walls, the ceiling, whatever...geez that sounds depressing doesn't it? We have been married just over 3 years but have been together for just over 36 years ( no need to rush into marriage eh lol) Hubby was 63 when he was diagnosed with AZ or possibly FTD, although it is most likely a mixed dementia. He just turned 65 and I am 55