Bluedaze, pleased that you have some flowers in bloom for this special day. You always used to say that the memories of the better times would return and far outweigh the bad memories, did they? Mine didn't. (my dh had FTD, like yours but as part of ALS.) All the best to you on this anniversary day and greetings to sweet Gracie.
For memories. I guess I'm very fortunate Because I have so many reminders of our good times. 8mm movies, Video tapes, Digital videos, Photos, Audio recordings, Diaries and journals.
And then, I have my little web site where I put a lot of them and tell stories about them. And the website is even better because everything is at my finger tips and so easy to find. Sometimes I spend all day long watching and reliving those happy days.
I'm also grateful that I have family members living close by and we can get together and have fun watching it all on the big TV.
I just wish everyone here could be as fortunate as me...........GeorgieBoy
Larry died 18 months ago, and I am not saying I've forgotten the hellaciousness of being an AD caregiver--especially those last four months--but more and more I just feel a warmth and a happy glow that I had him for as long as I did, and that we made the most of everything. I think because of the huge 25-year age difference, and the fact that he had a cardiac history, we both pretty much expected him to drop dead of a sudden heart attack at some point...so we had a lot of fun and happiness together while we could, were good to each other, and didn't postpone a thing. While the Alzheimers was unexpected and devastating, I had made a decision when I married him to stick by him no matter what, so whether or not to do the caregiving just wasn't an issue. Besides, as everybody knows, I am an RN...so what is one more patient? Ha-ha.
I have a nice 8 x 10 portrait of him on the dresser, but other than that, I keep the photo albums put away. I'm not quite ready to look at photos of our happy times...it's enough to keep them in my heart for the moment.
My sympathies, bluedaze. I bring my wife flowers every few weeks, and sometimes her visiting caregiver picks wildflowers in our yard while my wife watches from the front porch. I've brought her larger bouquets on our anniversary, but she doesn't understand any longer what anniversaries are about.
Memories are difficult. I have a vacation photo of my wife on my desk at work that shows her smiling at the camera as she's working on a quilt. It's a happy scene. One of the worst things about dementia and long-term caregiving, for me, is that today's experiences drive out yesterday's memories. It's hard to keep in mind the person she used to be, now that I'm taking care of someone so different--it's such a painful contrast. I don't look forward to the end, but I think (hope?) it will be easier to revisit good memories then.