Thank you for sharing, that was beautiful. I did this when Lynn was diagnosed. I made different albums of the era's in his life. I have had other relatives with dementia, so I knew he would enjoy it as much as they did. Thanks again! Nikki
Today was a good day....don't know who else to tell , but I feel pretty mellow now and tha t is unusual before bedtime.
I had my annual physical with my very special lady Doc. She is the one that made me seek help for G over a year ago. She spent so much time with me just listening and caring. She has other patients in the same boat,and took down all the info about this site to pass one. Her main concern was to keep me healthy, but strongly encouraged outside activities for me to prepare for another life. She is so aware of this world, I was amazed.I haven't had so many hugs in a long time. She insisted I call for any small thing she could help with..smoothers if need be later on..whatever. I left with such a calm feeling..and since I have been her patient for 15+ years, I know she is sincere. Nice to head for bed with a mellow feeling rather than an uptight "damn tomorrow is another day" feeling. Nice to have someone you know does understand and care.
How wonderful for you kathi, there are not too many doctors that can make you feel this way. I'm glad that you got one that truly cares to what happens to you. Yes it does feel good not to be on edge all the time. You will have a wonderful restful night I'm sure. My DH and I have the same doctor, and he told me in the beginning of the year to think about placing my husband in a NH. I know he meant well. I was the only caregiver 24/7 and it took it's toll on me. But I rattled some chains and got some help. And my husband was put on some meds that helped his aggressive behavior.
Since this is label "Just Want to share this" I'll add my story from yesterday...which was our 47th anniversary.
Yesterday was the first time since May that my husband was alone at lunch time. I had been going home and preparing his lunch or my daughter, Debbie, from England, had been home to do so. I had called him and told him to fix a sandwich for his lunch (when I fix them, he can’t find them when they are right in front of his face – I’ve tried!) and he tried to fix his lunch.
When I got home after work yesterday, he had two stale hot dog buns on the counter, along with a bottle of Misu (for Japanese soup), an unopened jar of peaches, an unopened quart of fresh strawberries, the box containing the cherries and icing for turnovers (the dough had been opened, separated, rolled into balls and placed on the turntable of the microwave but not started), and an open package of divinity! I put the strawberries and peaches back in the fridge, threw away the Misu, divinity and dough, along with the now stale hot dog buns! He didn’t hurt himself, or try to start the microwave, but I think he was attempting at one point to make hot dogs (guess he forgot where the wieners were kept) and I guess he mistook the Misu for mustard. Of course, this is just my guess! <grin>
It proved to me that I HAVE to go home to feed him lunch. I feed him breakfast and start a movie for him before coming to work, and he does fine until I get home for lunch. It’s after the movie I start as I leave after lunch is over that I’ve been concerned about. He has been okay so far, so I have been allowing him to have his way about staying alone. Right now, I’ll play it by ear and put my lunch dates back on hold for a while.
Mary, if you can still have a grin after coming home to that, you are special. Obviously the desire was there, just lacked the follow thru. And I was miffed because G didn't put his dishes in the dishwasher when I was in such a hurry. I surely need to do some major adjustment before the s#*#*t hits here. Please keep the stories coming.
Oh kathi37, my husband didn't put the dishes in the dishwasher when he was normal! Please see my post under "Things I wish I had known at stage 2-3." The sooner you can let go of your frustration over his behavior the easier it will be, I promise! Now that my husband has died, I wish I could have beenkinder and gentler and more accepting with him in the beginning.
I leave a plate of lunch food (usually leftovers) for mine, whenever I'm going to be gone later than about 10:30. He can put it in the microwave still (I think). And I have a lot of yogurts in the fridge in a particular place, and fruit in a particular bowl. USUALLY he can cope with that. If there aren't any leftovers I get a can of Progresso soup and put it in a soup bowl (still in the can) and leave it on the stove where he can't miss it, so he can dump it into the bowl and microwave it.
I took over putting the dishes in the dishwasher (which used to be his job) and now he doesn't feel he has to do them, as he was feeling anxious about them and hence washing them 2-3 times a day.
Today has been an uplifting day. One where you wonder when the other shoe will drop. Paul was more alert today - all day- can hardly believe it. Sleeping less, talking more, less confused, even talking about news items from days past.
The only thing I can attribute it to - in the way of medication is I dropped his 600 mg. of Neurotin from 3 a day to 1 a day, and I stopped giving him the vicadon once a day. All this a few days ago. Just hope this will continue, but know it won't.
We are still enjoying the more "alertness". I can just think of the change in meds causing it but I hope it continues. He is even making his little jokes he used to do all the time. He watches some TV and is talking more.
I took him to our GP today and he wants him to stop sleeping in his recliner and sleep in his bed because of the way his head is bent over. He also wants me to massage his neck every day and try to work the muscles. He also ordered a soft collar for him to wear about an hour a day.