Hello all, I haven't been here in ages, but do think of you all everyday. I am looking for low-key suggestions for our 30th wedding anniversary. Scott cannot tolerate extra excitement (seizures), but know he would have wanted this to be remembered in some way. My only thought....photos...Perhaps this would even be too much as it takes a village to help him look towards anything. On the otherhand, he may love it. We certainly won't have a party, but know that you have all experienced this. Thanks for any and all suggestions! Ann
I would have family send cards or small posters with pictures with memories of both of us with them. Two or three pictures would be enough. I would place them around the dining room where we can can have a nice dinner or lunch even breakfast. The meal would have to be what he can tolerate, food and time. Play some of his favourite music. I would just do something low key. I know best what he can tolerate. Remembering this will be for me as well. Buy myself some roses, a card from him. I would do things according to his memory as well. If he won't remember if he did. It, I would just say thank you and give him a hug.
Dear Ann ...........I hope you can find something that will bring back the sweet memories from long ago. Don't worry so much about Dear Scott. All he needs is you.
What I did as Larry's memory dwindled was to buy a nice anniversary card "for us" and display it prominently in the family room, and I would also buy a nice box of chocolates "for us, for our anniversary" and we would enjoy it together. (I tried not to eat too much of it, trying to keep my weight down.) He really wasn't capable of doing any of the usual things, like going out to dinner.
One wife in my husband's unit brought in a large sheet cake for the afternoon snack, and it was cut up for all the residents an their guests. This prompted many of the guests and residents to go over and congratulate the couple. That, in turn, gave the event a very social, celebratory feeling and made the honored resident feel special. Another idea would be to take your husband for a ride in the car. This does not sound like much but my husband really enjoys that.
Thank you for the nice suggestions. Scott is end stage, so we'll play it by ear... Perhaps we will spend the day listening to Simon and Garfunkel....or I will try a little chocolate ice cream with him... You know how it is when one is diagnosed with EOAD...no one is around. At some point, I will share January 25th, 1986. If nothing else, it would make a great comedy! :)
On my husband’s last birthday he was also at end stage, and needed peace and calm - he couldn’t take excitement or crowds either – I bought a large cake which was shared among the residents at their afternoon snack break, and then we closed over his door and sat in his room listening to his favourite music and holding hands. For us that was right. It probably will be your last celebration with him, so be guided by what your heart tells you. God bless, and hope he will be peaceful, and that it will be a good memory.