So far, Christmas Eve day can't go fast enough for me!! I was already told, with a finger stuck in my face, "don't mess with me today"! Then, behind my back, he ate almost a whole kolache - I'm about ready to give him a drink & hope he falls asleep. He's watched everything I've done today (is it shadowing or just plain nosiness?), always peeking around the corner of the doorway to see what I'm doing....please let this be over soon!
Our son just drove in, so maybe that will help. If it wasn't for him being here, I honestly don't think I would do a thing.
Thanks for listening to my venting!!! Merry Christmas, hohoho....
Hi Mim, If you don't mind my saying so, this will, maybe next year, be only a memory. He can't help it ... it's this terrible disease. Please don't think I'm interfering, but I'm on the other side of this now. Thank goodness your son is supporting you. I hope that things turn around tomorrow, and you will enjoy the day. Kindest regards,
Hi Mim, I think you are in what is possibly the worst stage - where he is at home and acting bizzarro. Hang in there. We have been through this and we understand. I hope tomorrow is better.
Mim, like Marg78, I am on the other side of it, and know that you will get through it. I look back on the past year and see how far I have come and you will too. Many of the horrible memories of this disease are slowly becoming less intrusive in my memory. I know it is difficult but try to do something nice for yourself. It does help. God bless
Thank you for your comments. Unfortunately, today seems to be going no better...I've talked to my son & we're going to have Christmas dinner tomorrow. I'm rather unraveled today, teary-eyed (that just won't stop), spent time cleaning poop from the bathroom floor, the bottom of his slippers & a big smear on the cream colored carpet in the living room! If it continues, I'm going to give him one-half of Imodium & if he doesn't settle, one-half of my anxiety meds. I know it isn't good to "share" meds, but I'll need to do something. I really can't talk to the doctor (if necessary) until Monday, & I think Walgreens is open Christmas Day (used to be anyway) if I need to get some liners for his underwear. Ahhh, the holidays! I think today I'm actually grieving the loss of the way things used to be & will never be again...sad.
By the way, nobody ever needs to be concerned about saying anything...I'm not easily offended. Truth is better than mincing words & pussyfooting around about these things.
Mim, will he be going into the VA day program at all? A lot of times, adult fecal incontinence is the trigger for permanent placement, but I realize you are giving a lot of consideration to the financial impact on you. What does your son think about all of this? As he is "on site" so to speak, does he have any useful ideas, or does he not "get it"?
Can you get Dan into pull-ups or some kind of incontinent briefs for men? I think it was Depends that I bought for Larry for a long time--they were a little pricey, but nice--very much like real underwear and not "diapers" type of product. I got them at the Giant Eagle. I bought the larger size for Larry--it seemed to me that they ran small, but it might be worth an experiment, just to see if they would work for Dan.
Oh, Mim, what a mess! It sounds like you are going to need some help with Dan. I also sympathize with you about the rug - it sounds minor in the context of everything else but I know from experience that it's the kind of thing that can just defeat you. I hope you'll be able to get the stain out.
It's midnight....I'll tell more tomorrow. I know, I know...I bet you can't wait!!! :)
Yes Charlotte, I saw it too, & at that time there were two jet vapor trails forming a cross over it. I took it as a sign! I've always been moonstruck. Used to spend hours when everyone else thought I was asleep, just watching the moon...
Actually, Mim, I have been hoping we would hear from you. It sounds like a crisis point may have been reached in your household. I am wondering how you are doing and I'm sure others are, too. Good night. Sleep well.
Well, as of the 27th everything seems calm once again. On Christmas Day, Dan went to bed at 8:30 & I finally went in to wake him up at 2:30 PM the next day! I know he had been up to the bathroom a couple of times during that long sleep, so I knew he was still alive...
The 26th was my birthday (74!) & of course, absolutely no acknowledgment from him, even after my son gave me a present & wished me happy birthday...just doesn't sink in at all. I really didn't expect it to, though.
Come Monday & Tuesday, I simply must start making some phone calls...as usual, I've put it off. I've never called about the daycare, or as I refer to it "the social group". It's so hard for me to make phone calls, under any circumstances...I'm not a big phone person. Yet I know I must, & after these last few days, it's become clearer to me that this must be taken care of. I suppose holiday time isn't the best time to tackle this, but I need to at least make a start. I need to get my head out of the clouds, stay away from Facebook, Pinterest & Tumblr & face what has to be done instead of trying to escape into those fantasy lands (FB not so much, but the others - I love looking at beautiful, or interesting, or educational things!) I need to take care of business before I bury my nose in a book, another wonderful escape.
I so appreciate all of you & your helpfulness/advice/opinions...by the way, I DID buy waterproof pads for his recliner & liners for his underwear if he keeps having those accidents. They happen few & far between, but I'm trying to get prepared. Start with the liners, fight our way through using those, until we need to graduate to full Depends or whatever. Oh, this will be a battle royale!!!
Belated Happy Birthday, Mim. And you see, you did get through it ... somehow you will always find the strength when it is needed. I have benefited a lot from the advice/tips and hints from others here, too. Spent a lot of yesterday and today going through my husband's old papers and correspondence, weeding out what needs to be kept, and what can be thrown out. He had so many cards, mementos and letters from old friends who became our friends, and there are a lot of memories. I'm going to finish this before the New Year, and try to move forward. Reading how others are moving on helps a lot. Like you, Mim, I love Pinterest and tips on organizing and cleaning - so interesting. Take care, and hoping the rest of the holiday goes smoothly.
marg78* and Mim, I'm reading an organizing book now that takes a different approach. It's called "The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing." It's a best-seller and I can understand why, since it's already inspired me to finally tackle the clutter.
Myrtle, that book sounds interesting. I think I will order it from Amazon. Thanks for the tip. Rene was, fortunately for me, a neat freak, having been in the military. I can honestly say that until he got sick I never had to pick up or tidy anything after him. Also, when we both worked I did the cleaning and cooking (cooking he couldn't handle), but he always helped with the dishes and did all the manly chores around the house, yard and garden. I worked 9 years longer than he did, so he did the grocery shopping while I was at work. I prepared food in advance, and after I got home from work, I put our dinner in a convention oven and we did our one hour walk; when we got home, dinner was ready. It worked very well for us, and we got our exercise and spent the time together. Since his passing I have gotten so sluggish (perhaps depressed) that I have to force myself to do everything - so I set my timer, and give myself a certain amount of time for each room; from the internet I copied lots of notes on cleaning (although at this age I should know!) - but there is always a lot of learn; I take out those notes as encouragement, too - anything to MAKE myself do it. I imagine many of us are in the same boat.
I'm going to have to read that book! There is SO much that needs to be gotten rid of, or tossed out...I keep telling myself "tomorrow, tomorrow". Of course you know how that goes!
All is calm today & I did get through it...spent the majority of the day reading, think I will go back to that. Dan is quiet.
Mim and Myrtle, I ordered that book tonight. P.S. About the 'other' stuff besides housework, I sure could use Charlotte's talents! Two drills, and have no idea how to use either. Have donated a lot of other things - saws, etc. - but I'm hoping some day to know how to use a drill! Glad things have calmed down, Mim.