I just heard the news on CBC and the 80 something went to the LTC and took he husband, who has dementia, home and gave him an overdose of Meds then took some herself. A family member found them and called 911. He survived and has left the hospital but she is still there and is now charged with attempted murder. She must have been totally overwhelmed and desperate. I guess she just couldn't watch what this terrible disease was doing to her loved one and her. I hope they take pity on her and get her the help she needs. Damn this disease!!! Tears are falling as I write this. Maybe this will open some eyes about how bad the situation is and how much help we need.
Here is the newspaper link, Jazzy. She probably couldn't cope anymore. We here understand. Hopefully she can get some help. http://www.lfpress.com/2015/11/17/london-police-have-charged-an-84-year-old-woman-with-attempted-murder
If anything she should only be charged with "Failed Euthanasia"
From personal experience Things like this have to be done in a fail proof manner . . . http://thealzheimerspouse.com/vanillaforum/comments.php?DiscussionID=7444
Thank you LFL, I went through a period of complete loneliness that is beyond explanation but I am working my way back. As an FYI if you think people leave you after ALZ comes into your life be advised that they run away even faster after a 3-way euthanasia(!)
While in a health plan grief group I actually had a licensed marriage family therapist tell me that I should never tell people about my experience because "It is too difficult for THEM to listen to" and he refused to allow me to share my experience during the group meetings. In a private session, I had a licensed psychologist ask me to relate my tale and when the tears came and my throat closed up he said . . . "Uhh, is this bothering you?" Another long story made short. I had a grieving event at work and was sent home on administrative leave for 13 months with instruction to have NO contact with any of my coworkers. I have learned that professionals (therapists or HR) do NOT understand grief at all.
Having experienced both ALZ and compounded grief, I can state that they are both real yucky! No friends and no family . . . But I am still here. Jim
What you went through was catastrophic. It was beyond. To navigate through and largely hold together is a feat to achieve. I would continue to concentrate on that as you appear to be doing. Looking for help is still good to do even when the landscape is littered with trolls.
You get down the road without hate, despair, abandonment, and any other things this probably did to you and I would think you'll have done as well as possible.
The answers are elsewhere. I believe that. Not in a geographical sense but in the real sense, which is in how we see things. I've learned to talk to myself, help myself, work with myself, and even care for myself in ways that really do feel like I am my own friend and travelling companion as much as anyone can be.
There is an entry point to something somewhere. Normally we neither look for them nor see them. When life has been brutal it's much harder like looking into a strong wind in some ways but there is no wind and there is no strong and no one is looking - there is only the force away from such things (for example genuine engagement with something new).
There will be something down the road for you Jim. I believe that from reading your posts for years. I hope that for you also.
I echo Wolf's thought, dear Jim. I am so sorry that you have had additional grief though people's inability to get out of their safe cocoons and identify with you. We do. Hugs(((())))
Hi Jim--I remember your story well. I can only echo the others who say that even though there are a bunch of trolls and morons out there...we here at Joan's are here for you. Stick around and keep us updated about what you're up to and how it is going.
The grief counselors at Hospice are the only ones ( from my experience) who "get it", and have been able to help me survive. What you experienced was unimaginable and incomprehensible. After the worthless counselors and therapists, I hope that you were able to get some useful help.
I don't know how anyone gets through this grief process without help.
M-mann* I did not join this site until last year so I didn't know about your history until I followed the link you posted. I am so sorry that this happened to you and your family. I had a friend who was murdered and I found it to be a very different experience from losing a loved one to a non-violent death. There is an element of horror, shock, and outrage when someone is killed violently, which makes the experience worse and more complex than when a someone dies naturally. To make it even more terrible, you lost your closest family members and the act was committed by one of them.
The bereaved are often urged to view death as a natural part of life but what you experienced was not a natural part of life. You are more like a survivor of war than someone whose spouse died of natural causes. I am so glad you are working your way out of your loneliness and I hope that you find a way to live and experience contentment and happiness again. If anyone deserves it, you do.