The constant eating is about Dan, not me (for a change!). From the time after he eats breakfast, which is actually more like lunch time, he's constantly in the kitchen, opening & closing cupboard doors looking for sweets. Yesterday, I bought a small bag of cookies (on sale!) - I had one, he has finished the rest. Bought a bunch of 6 semi yellow bananas, I had one half, he has finished all the rest. He is always searching for cookies, graham crackers, pudding, chocolate milk (if I have any). He can't be hungry, in my opinion, but so restless. We've increased his "relaxation" med from 2 a day to 3, has seemed to help until lately. The meds are a very low dose, by the way - I don't want him to become zombie like.
If I hear the cupboard doors one more time, I think I'm going to lose it. He ate supper, but couldn't finish it, saying he just wasn't hungry. Well - duh - I wonder why! Since then he's moving around, asking about what day it is, checking his wrist watch & searching for something to nibble on! We'll be out of his snacks soon, but he will still look for them...do I just keep buying stuff & allowing him to graze, do I stop having those things in the house, don't know what to do. I might mention also that he is diabetic - just within the last 2-3 years.
I know about the sundowners, but this goes on all day, until he wears out & sleeps in the recliner for a while. Hopefully he will be settling down soon for the evening (it's a little after 8:00). Maybe a good crack over the head with a frying pan would do it!! :)Time for some anti-anxiety med for me...
Sounds like you can buy them but ration how much is where he can find it. If you don't have a pantry that can lock or garage, then leave non-perishable in the car trunk. Art has his jar of hard candy that keeps him busy. Winco tells it in bulk which makes it nice. He no longer will eat fresh fruits and veggies.
Actually Myrtle we have an appointment on the 18th with the VA...he's still in their records, although he hasn't been there for several years. They will help with the day care after all the appointments are done, however I can't quite see how Dan will be willing to go someplace like that. It could cause a lot of problems for me, but I won't know till I try. One day a week for starters maybe, but I'd like at least two. Just have to see how & if it works out.
I think he probably is bored. Charlotte, I do try to put part of whatever it is away somewhere else, sometimes freeze half if I bake something...hard to hide bananas though! I'm torn between letting him eat junk if that's all he wants, or trying to have some control over it.
Min, I sorry I did not post this earlier. I did not think about this until I went to bed. Could it be that he is not really hungry, but just doing what is familiar. I remembered a stage my DH went through. It drove me nuts. He obsessed about his feet. Had on three or four pairs of socks, and had shoes with velcro straps. The remark about the cabinet doors, made me think about the ripping of the velcro. I got to the point of wanting to scream with the sound. Over and over again the socks on and off the shoes on and off all day long. Day after day. Then one day it stopped. I think it may be like this? Who know, I just wish you luck with this.
Craving sweets is one of the things that someone with dementia does. They just seems to have to have them. Make sure you tell his Doctor about this craving. I'm told that there is nothing we can do but try to ration them, but they will search for them. I think if my DH lived at home I would let his have a rationed portion. Remember thus is a terminal illness so why stop them? As I said make sure you ask the Doctor about this and what to do.
Larry went through this, too. He went through so much soda (i.e. "pop" in the Midwest) that I just stopped buying Coke and bought the Aldi's brand much-cheaper version. And he had to have candy to eat in bed at night when he was in there watching TV for hours before he went to sleep. He was not diabetic, so I just let him have whatever he wanted. He was getting cavities from all the candy at night after he had brushed his teeth (talk about not making sense...he would brush his teeth like forever....would forget to stop...and then would get into bed and start eating candy.) I had taken him to the dentist to have his cavities filled, but he just would not stop eating the sweets. The dentist of course advised that he not do that. But since it was Alzheimers, I just kind of threw up my hands. He did get over the "sweets and soda" stage eventually. How bad is Dan's diabetes? How much eating can he get away with?
Larry would never, ever go to any kind of day program. It would have been impossible to get him up and dressed in the morning. Aides staying at the house worked out better for me. But I do believe that the VA day program in our town is free (Or very cheap? I don't remember now.) I would just start with what you need, Mim. If you need two days, put him in for two days. You can always say that this is what the doctor wants and is insisting on...make the doctor the "bad guy" rather than you.
We'll see if he's really hungry....I just finished making French toast, eggs, juice & coffee for us (about noon - he was up before me for the first time in forever). If he starts roaming the kitchen again, I think that would pretty much tell me it's restlessness or boredom.
I know they crave sweets, but this is ridiculous. His diabetes isn't terrible yet, just on oral meds. But as even the doctor told me, just do what I can. Like you've said this is a terminal disease (although it could take years!), so if that's what he wants, so be it. I just can't keep up with the demand! He does have a lot of decay in his teeth, making trips to the dentist to have the cavaties filled, already had one tooth pulled. Just trying to save what he has - there will be no dentures. He'd never adjust to that, he can't even remember to brush his teeth unless I "remind" him. He doesn't brush them very well either.
I don't know what I can keep here to satisfy his sweet tooth - he does love chocolate, milk & dark. Something that I can put out for him just so much at a time.
Blue, never thought of the sound of velcro becoming so irritating....I guess it would now that I do think about it. And those repetitive sounds seem to become louder each time! I do have an advantage, though, as I can remove my hearing aids when I can't stand it anymore.
I don't know if there is still Halloween candy out there on sale. That's the time to buy it--after the holiday. Same thing with the bags of Christmas candy next month. (Now I'm making myself hungry for candy. Sheesh.)
Mim -- I've been going through the same situation with my DH since last February. My solution was to have my DH's son install magnetic childproof locks on all our kitchen cabinets which contain food. I also recently bought locks for our refrigerator and freezer. My DH has no judgment ability whatsoever, so we can eat a full meal and 10-15 minutes later he's looking for another meal. I know it's restlessness, but not too much I can do about it without medication. We're currently experimenting with the correct dosage for Seroquel.
As far as daycare is concerned, it can be great if your DH will go. My DH did go for 2-1/2 years until I had to remove him from the program since the staff felt he was a flight risk. Unfortunately their day room was not locked and my DH would walk out and want to wait in the reception area until I picked him up (usually 2 hours after lunch). They didn't have the personnel to accommodate this situation so I was asked to remove him. It was a huge disappointment to me and literally happened overnight. However, I'm currently researching other programs which I might send him to two days per week. We currently have 15 hours of in home homemaker/companion services through Medicaid which has helped me, but does nothing for the restlessness.
Good luck and I hope you can find a solution soon -- it is maddening to say the least!
Mim, my DH doesn't get angry when he can't open the locked cupboards, but he just keeps on trying. He gets restless in the evening and has issues with sleeping. He'll get up, get dressed and try to open the cabinets. I can hear him trying as our kitchen is below our bedroom. Trying to get him to stay in bed is tough. I have come to the conclusion that his will is stronger than any medication available.
Mim, my DH doesn't eat all the time but has in the last several months wanted to eat his butterscotch candy A LOT. My DH is also diabetic, but Type I Insulin dependent. He was sneaking into the candy all day. His blood sugars were skyrocketing (300-400) so we had to cut back. His doctor told him he had to and he accepts that for the most part. One of the few times he actually has. I am going to get sugar free candies which should help. From the onset he's lost about 30 lbs. but could drink his weight in Diet Coke. I keep buying it (I should own stock by now) since I know he likes it and its one of the few pleasures he has.
I hope you get some relief with your DH, until then we should all embrace enhancing our lives through pharmacology. :)
Be careful on the sugar-free candy, Sass. They are usually sweetened with sorbitol or maltilol, which can cause bloating and diarrhea. I was taught that xylitol is the better sweetener (in terms of not having the same side effects), but is not used as much because it's more expensive. I could just see an Alz. person eating a lot of the sugar-free candy and then having incontinence problems.
Elizabeth and Blue, thanks for those tips! I did not know that about the diarrhea. So far, we have not had any problems with that. I certainly don't need to rush that along. I just bought a sugar free bag tonight. It's a small bag so after that's gone I'll just have the sugar ones and make sure to limit them or only buy it occasionally.
Mim, I wish you good luck with the VA. In our area, they have contracts with a few day care centers and it saved my life. When my husband went, the VA paid for 3 days per week but I've heard that now they only pay for 2 days. They also paid for 30 visits from an aide per year but they did not offer that benefit until late in the game. Do not think negatively about whether Dan will agree to go or not. This is a survival issue for you. He must go and you must use whatever tricks you have to persuade him to go! My opinion differs from others about this eating thing. After seeing my husband in action and now observing others in his dementia unit, I think that what many dementia patients crave is structure, not food. They need constant supervision and activities. Buying him candy is just catering to a secondary symptom and ignoring the real need.
Well, they're all different, Myrtle. I couldn't get Larry to go to day care unless I would have tied him up with a rope and dragged him. He liked to be home...as he declined, he started sleeping until around 11am, then would shower and dress...slooowwwwly...eventually needing the aide's supervision and help (or mine)...and then it was a late breakfast and hours of TV. That man was a TV watcher for sure. (As he went downhill...not in the good old days when he was still sharp, vibrant, and interesting.) And he ate his candy in bed at night, while he watched even more TV. (Thank God for the sacred New York Yankees--kept him occupied for hours, watching that Yankee Channel.) So...different strokes for different folks.
I hope Mim can get Dan to at least try the day care here in our town. I would have loved for Larry to have gone...but nooooooooo.
Hi elizabeth, I did not mean that all dementia patients need structure, just that many do, and it sounds like Dan might be one of them, since he is always restless, asking what day it is, checking his watch, etc. I'm wondering if his eating and his constant opening and closing of cabinet doors might be part of that restlessness, and not just an unrelated eating behavior. (Those who deal with stress by binging on fatty and sugary foods can probably identify.)
It sounds like Larry did not have this problem and that he was fine at home. But if someone is very restless, it's worth it to try really hard to get them to go to day care. My husband complained at first and several times refused to get out of the car when I dropped him off. I finally came up with a reason that made sense to him. He lasted there for 2 years and got to like it. Obviously, you can't force someone to go. If he had not agreed to go, I don't think he could have stayed at home for those 2 years because he really needed more structure and planned activities than I could provide. Not to mention that I worked during the day.
Stupid, stupid me....I just wrote the longest response to you all & forgot to hit the comment button! Sheesh....I can't type all of that again.
I'll just say for now that I appreciate all of your comments - they are good ones! Thanks. I'll have to retype the rest at another time. Tomorrow is VA day & I'm nervous about that. Thursday is toenail trimming day - funny how those small things become such a major things in my mind.
Well the visit to the VA seemed to be successful. Everyone was so kind & friendly. Dan re-registered (I should say I re-registered him), saw the social worker (told Dan it was a liason, which he really didn't understand) & saw the doctor (very nice, friendly man) Now it's up to me to call the daycare (social group!) to see what needs to be done next. I may call this week, but we won't go in until next week, at least....depending on what they say. The social worker said he believed that they will give Dan a one day trial run to see how he does, but he wasn't absolutely sure. I hope they do. I just have this feeling that he will not want to go back, but I won't know till we try it. I am never far from him, I don't know how he will react if he can't find me. I know that if he goes to the restroom in a restaurant, he always seems afraid that he's lost me...I make sure to watch for him so I can flag him down.
It's so sad in a way - I could talk about his condition right in front of him, & there was just no reaction, or denial, or correction. He would just smile when anybody else did, tried to answer a simple question when one was asked of him...just so oblivious. I guess it's good for him, but....
Today he has seemed rather restless again, not too bad for a couple of days, but it's starting again...name of the game I guess.
Everyone try to have a good Thanksgiving holiday (I know Canada alread had theirs!)...it won't be easy, but hopefully there is at least one thing to be thankful for. The best to all of you.
I hope you have a good holiday, too, Mim. I'll be crossing my fingers that Dan will do OK at day care. I hope they give him more than a one-day trial run. It took my husband several weeks to adjust to it. I began by calling it "the club" but after many months, he started referring to it as "school," which was appropriate because he was like a child. Another man, who had been a producer at out local PBS channel, thought he was going to work and talked constantly about the videos he was making there.