When NH are mentioned here, are they the actual type of NH? In Oregon we have a variety of Adult Foster care homes..some good, some not so, but the $$$ difference is significant. My mother was in one that was mediocre I found later, but know there are good ones out there. Just curious as our LTC insurance only pays for care in a NH for 3 years. The last one my mother was in was god awful...and it was one of the best.
kathi-my husband is in an excellant dementia only ALF. With Hospice they will keep him to the end. Cost is half of a bad NH. The facility has negotiated with long term insurance companies that only covered NH. They agreed to cover the ALF for a longer term. Perhaps that will help you. But you do have to negotiate.
kathi37 - Do you know how lucky you are to have NH paid for for three years? I definitely HOPE I don't need that, since it would be on our nickel - well not exactly a nickel for sure...
Frand, You are here in Oregon now? I thought your husband was having gallblader surgery..easy kind, but still. I may have gotten things screwed up, but thought that was the situation.
Are you saying that 3 years is good? I know what my mom's cost per month for a crappy facility and that was 10 years ago. It is horrifying considering the type of care she got. I thought I was fortunate to place her in a home that was considered amongst the best..and it was AWFUL!A friend of ours was an inspector for NH in the state and recomended this one as opposed to others. I guess none of them are what we would want.
I had my husband in an AD assisted living facility that was $4500 a month. Those costs changed (upward of course) as he needed more care. He got too combative for that place and he is now in a full care Alzheimer's facility that is $385.50 a day (just under $12,000) a month.
Nursing homes in the area run from $9000 to $12,000 a month. Talk about sticker shock.
One of the things that I learned when researching NH was that they are not all created equal. Some places said that they handled AD patients but did not have a locked ward (the residents got to wear bracelets or ankle bracelets) - didn't think those were safe at all. Some of them tried to create a "normal" life for the person with AD - this may work with some but was not good for my husband. Some places had the CNA's and Nurses work the same ward and take care of the same patients all the time, some places just rotated the workers. Then you also have the ratio of the number of workers to patients - that was different too.
One of the best pieces of advice I was given was that wherever they are placed, should be a place that you can visit often to ensure that they are getting proper care.
$12,000.00 a month !!! I wasn't ready for that figure at all. No way could we afford extended time in a place like that. We are fairly far out from that move, I hope...unless my patience gets blown away which it feels like today. He is still driving, but i can't stand driving with him. I think I am totally nitpicking every thing he does behind the wheel. He was the BEST driver ever, and I fear when he can't do it anymore...especially after reading the horror stories here. In any case, I'm assuming ALF is an adult type care facility....looks like I shall have a lot of research ahead of me.
Thanks for all the input...always welcome and needed.
12k/month? i am also sticker shocked. where is this place? state? here in our area,there are smaller family style homes that can run 2500-5000k and some AD only facility can be 4500-7500 i think. either way not chicken feed, where my dad was in a smaller town, he was in NH and not ad but they had a locked unit for 3000k/mo. so i know they are out there and pretty decent from referalls. i would be driving lots more to a further one out then, and not have mine in for 12k/mo unless ins paid it all. we, too will be paying out the kazoo and out of pocket. yipes. hospice is looking better more and more -whew i am worried. divvi
I guess I should feel lucky we don't live there! I have done a lot of research on Alzheimer care nursing homes here, just in case - the average cost is 140-170 a day.
You've got to start looking way before you think you need to. I thought I started early and I was so wrong. At first I thought he was "too good" to need the facility. As the time came he was much worse than they could take. I was out of options. There is only one facility in Florida that will take violent and exit seeking patients. When my husband was in a psych facility he decked a patient and started on the staff. My saving grace was that I could refuse to take him out without a place to put him-and that was not going to be home!!!
I am in Connecticut. Yes, it is very expensive but no other place would take him and he was too aggressive to have at home (he tried to choke one hospital worker with his belt and threw a chair at another one). I tried several other places and they all refused to take him. I was lucky to even get him in this place as their waiting list is often 3 years.
When I was originally searching for a facility (before he got so aggressive), the waiting list ran from 0 to 1 year. I did learn that you had to read all the fine print very carefully because there can be a lot of "hidden" charges. They may tell you price A but there will be explanations on the costs for any additional services.
Where he is, they handle him well, his aggressivness is not an issue for them as they typically handle the more difficult patients and he seems to be doing okay.
kathy37 - We are back in Warrenton/Astoria. At this point no one has said for sure the gallbladder is the ONLY problem and he has gone downhill enough I don't think he is a candidate for any kind of surgery. I hope to know more after seeing the urologist tomorrow. We have no NH insurance is what I meant in the previous post - if we have to spend down to be on Medicade I may as well order a casket for two! I can't imagine $12,000 - is that in Beverly Hills, for Pete's sake? I am so lucky to have the option of going to Texas and use the AD unit there. Everything included is $1700/mo, but that is because we are members of the RV organization that provides the service. So, if you want to start living in a rig this might be an option. (see www.escapeescare.org) for information. Actually, locals can use the AD facility for $28/day, but you'd have to move to Livingston, TX!
Fran, at $12,000 a month, if I had that kind of money, in one year I could buy a fancy RV and be your next door neighbor! <grin> It may be an option later though. Here they want $16.75 per hour for in-home care - that is $1,340 a month for 4 hours each afternoon Mon-Fri, which is what I'm looking at now. Double for all day.
The Escapees donate money and time to the facility. Through the years people contribute as they can and want. If you looked at the website you see they provide three meals and a snack a day for both partners, a place to park your rig, and much more. Couples from the organization sign up for a month or two at a time and go there to cook the meals, do maintenance, whatever is necessary. The volunteers wash the floors and cook the meals knowing that if they every need the service someone else will be doing it for them. Various chapters from all states have projects to raise money for CARE. Because I knew this was possible for us to use we sold our home in early 2006 to be able to travel as much as we could, but know we could go to the facility if necessary. Mary, I'm sure you could get a good deal on a big diesel pusher these days and we could be neighbors!
that was what i was thinking, 12hr /day either mornings and alternating some pm at 16/hr thru an agency is 5800/mo and thats at home. if you hire your own its only 10/hr it can be less depending on how many hrs..this maybe my plan. to use 12hr/day when he becomes bedridden and alternate days/or pms as i need it. or i have a lady that will work for me alone full time for 10/hr as many as i need. its going to be costly either way you look at it. i dread it all, divvi
It only works to keep the person at home if they and you and the rest of the household are safe. The other part is as long as you can take care of the person at home.
This disease has so many variables that it is impossible to predict whether you can care for them at home or not. When I started, I promised I would keep him home as long as it was safe to do so and as long as I could take care of him. I thought I would last longer and it would be safe for him longer but it literally got to be too much.
I did have help for almost a year and I am sure that having the person there enabled me to keep him home much longer than I would have been able to otherwise. She came in the morning so I could finish getting ready to go to work and work all day. There are pros and cons to having a person come into your home and those have to be considered in the scenario.
I had to come to terms with the fact that it was more important that he got the right care than that I keep him at home. I couldn't provide the right care in the home environment. What I could do is my best to ensure that he got good care at the facility by being there often and at different times of day.
I agree you did the right thing, each case scenario is so different as is each person. we can only do so much ourselves, then we may have to place them at any time. divvi
When it comes to placement, nursing homes are NOT the only option! I found out this by happy accident. I was checking out the NH in the area (and feeling worse and worse at the condidtions and the costs--no LTC) when someone gave me a booklet that listed the "Personal Care Homes" in the area.
Now, they may not be called that where you are, so let me explain. You know how some some people do child care out of their homes? There are senior care places that do, too! And they are 24/7!
I found my LO a home that is 16 people, all living together. The caregivers live with them in shifts, and they are wonderful. It's a regular home that just happens to have 8 bedrooms, you'd never know what it was if you didn't know. If you want the personal touch, and you don't want them to feel they are living in a 'facility', you may want to give these a look over. OF COURSE...do your research. ANY care facility type has the good ones and the bad ones, children or seniors. Ask around, drop in, the same thing you would do for a NH decision. Our care home is spoken of very highly in the community, and I have no reason to doubt it. And it's $2400/month! Beat that at a NH, I dare you!
Hi Trisinger, I think what you are talking about is what I was asking about earlier..in Oregon they are Adult Foster Care...dumb name..finding a good one is hard. I put on 600 miles looking for one for my mother years ago..I need to find a better way when the time comes)-:(
Sadly it has become time to place my DH in a facility. He will be going directly from the hospital psych. ward to hopefully a good ALF with a seperate dementia care only wing (locked and secure). While I am saddened, I know this is the best for all of us. I do believe he will be getting much better care when I find the right place for him. I am no longer able to care for him at home even though I promised I would as long as I could. But I have as long as I can. From what I understand, at the right place, he will benefit from the environment rather than be so overstimulated at home (child still at home - lots of activity and well as sports, homework, et.)DH has been miserable at home and finally unmanageable for us. He has worsened (of course) since he was admitted to the hospital in some ways, but is more calm in other ways. He is not combative there, but still very restless. I have read all the above posts and learned some things, but still am overwhelmed since this decision came so quickly since his disease progressed so quickly in the last month. I will be talking to the Alz. Assoc. tomorrow and the social worker from the hospital is working to help me find a facility. I have visited 2 very nice, but private pay only, facilities. The social worker recommended that we first look at homes that will take medicare when the time comes ( I guess when I run out of money and long term care insurance.) I am worried about not finding a good place under those constraints. Of course, it is my choice, but I do want to be diligent about our money and if he lives a long time, it could be a problem. What do you think about using a private facility for awhile and then move later when the disease has even progressed and they won't know the difference? Any suggestions?
The cost of the nh here in suburbs of ny where my wife is comes to $385 a day.Plus whatever drugs or tests are needed.In my wife's wing, which houses 40 alz patients they are wonderful and specialize in dementia.
bobspecialk - I hope we can find one as wonderful as you have found. My DH is only 55, but I suppose at this point that won't bother him since most will be much older. Is the costs high because of your area or the extra level of care. I have found that they have a base price and then add for extra levels of care as they become needed. My husband is very restless still and paces and doesn't sleep alot so I don't know if he will be eligible at some of the dementia only facilities. I don't see how they can keep someone who won't sleep -seems to disruptive to the others. The doctor says that they would take him, but I still am concerned about that.
I had to place my husband in a nursing home because of my disability and it almost broke my heart. fortunately, he was in 2 NH for a year and then I was able to put him into a VA home with a brand new dementia wing. At that time, I was paying $4000 a month for the private home and $1000 a month for medications. I was fast running out of funds and it was a godsend to have the VA be available. He is in excellent physical condition and will probably live long with the Alzheimers being the disease that will eventually kill him so he can continue to live in the VA home .
Alice - when my husband was in the psych ward, the hospital social worker helped me to find a place for my husband. He was very combative, tried to strangle a emergency room worker and threw a chair at a nurse in the hospital. There were many places that would not even look at him because of his aggressive/combative history. We did find a place for him. I was lucky enough to get him in and it has worked out beautifully for him. He is getting good care and I have been able to find things to enjoy about him again.
The social worker with hospice was the one who found a nursing home placement for my husband. He was also agressive and violent, so not many places were willing. The place she found took Medi-cal (California's version of Medicaid). I was very anxious about it, because there had just been a very negative article in our local newspaper about this very facility - they were being sued for neglect by a family whose LO had died. But I was desperate to place him, so I took a chance. The facility turned out to be wonderful! It was a little shabby, but it was clean, the staff were warm and caring, and the meals decent. Best of all it had a beautiful secure yard. So my advice is to be open-minded and check out the homes from a demented person's POV - carpets and new furniture don't mean much to them, and you can't always go by what you hear.
Thank you for your responses, they have been very helpful. Through prayer, suggestions and searching in the short time I have had I have found an ALF with a dedicated memory care unit (locked). Although at first it was not my first choice as it is older(but clean), the staff seems caring, their program approach seems to be individualized to meet the persons emotional(and physical) needs. beenthere - thank you for your advice to be open-minded. I actually feel at peace for the moment:) about the decision. There is much to do as we will be moving from the hospital to the home tomorrow. therrja - thanks for the hope that there will be things to enjoy about my DH again. I am hopeful after the transition period he will relax.