Recently I've been going through a big change and have moved out of the home where Helen and I lived for 65 years while raising our family and where I've stayed by myself for three years since my dear Helen left me.
At 94 years old, my family convinced me to move into a large old folks community called Hillcrest, where I have a small apartment with all the care, meals, and many activities provided by a wonderful staff of caregivers. Almost everyone here is elderly and single, living in little apartments just like me. One of my sisters lives just across the hall from me.
I was without the internet for two weeks and I really missed reading the stories here. So now I have some catching up to do and I'm finding that I can relate much better to all of you who are going through big life changes because that's what I'm doing right now.
Even though I realize that this new life here will be much better for me, I sometimes feel lost and uncomfortable in my new surroundings but I know exactly what I need to do about that. If I can just keep myself busy and try to do a little good in this world, I'll be OK and even be happy.
It seems as though all the residents here are dying to talk to someone but they will never start a conversation. So when I pass them in the hallway or meet them during some activity or in the cafeteria, I greet them and make some comment to start them talking. and it will usually end with them telling me the story of their life.
So that's my new life. It's really nice to wake up in the morning and have absolutely nothing that I need to do. I'm completely free. I can play all day long with my computer and my little website, And maybe bring a little happiness to someone else.
....................................The new GeorgieBoy
Dear George, With your temperament and love of people it won't be long before everyone is your friend. Helen would be happy to know that you are well taken care of. So good that your sister is just across the way. Wishing you all the best,
To live a fuller life afterwards takes great changes on our part. The centerpiece of that I'm also finding is to embrace the horror - I mean go with the flow - and you are doing that which I'm glad to hear. Changing doesn't open new channels, it lets us see from a different viewpoint and in that changed outlook we might be more willing to engage with some aspect of life.
Just like walking across that room at your first dance armed with nothing and everything on the line - you ask the girl/boy if they want to dance with you. Embrace the horror. It's always like this anyway (at least for me). Except in this case I doubt they know what has landed among them. Or how lucky they are. Let the jury be out for some time and let the talk open the window to the soul and what comes out is often amazing I think. You've already touched on the symmetry so you're aware that helping/kindness helps you.
In larger groups closer together some people aren't going to like you. Especially if you make a peep and I suspect you will. I'm sure you've thought of this but I would allow them to be the trolls they are.
Frankly, I'm optimistic. The world is a chaotic mess just like it's always been when you're sentient on a rock spinning around a nuclear explosion where the only two clear things I can spot are eat or be eaten and I'm definitely going to die. Taxes schmaxes. And the thing there is that I've been on both sides and in fact have been to places and what I see is that time doesn't even see me as a flyspeck and if I want to I can stand there holding my weenie afraid to dive in until the next ice age - or I can go swimming. It's always there and always my choice. And it is never ever, ever, ever that it is too anything and it is always, always, always me and what I do in it.
As for me, I'm space dust and I'm satisfied with what I've done and what I've become. That may not sound like much but I can promise you believing that is priceless. You, on the other hand girlfriend, are entering a new world and I believe you're going to do well in it.
Happy New Home, George. Blessings on your new place and on everyone who lives there (you) or comes there to visit. It sounds nice, although a big change. Do keep us updated.
George, That community is so lucky to have you join them - I know you will be contributing so much to the lives of others there, as you do here, with your inspiring wisdom. I am grateful for all you share on this site & been much enriched and inspired by your words. I admire your courage with this big change and am glad you have family there too. Change has its ups & downs and this community is always here to offer support and I look forward to hearing your story.
congratulations on your new home. I think it was a wonderful choice. I am slowly looking into the same thing for my dh and me. Our lives have changed so much since the uninvited guest of alz. moved in. And I don't like most change. Good luck with all of yours.
Congratulations George on this big undertaking. As others have said, I am sure your new friends will be delighted with your presence, compassion, and interest. Please keep us posted as it will be great to tag along in this new adventure.
George, what an exciting, brave new chapter you've started. You are forever-young in your attitude and I am certain you will be one of the most sought after residents. It must be comforting, in all of this change, to have your sister so close. Enjoy yourself and please come here often to keep us updated.
George, if your new home is anything like mine they have lots of activities for the residents. You should sign up for as much as possible. That way you will meet more of your new neighbors. It was on a van trip to a nearby beach that I met my new "significant other" (see Widows and widowers thread) who lives in a cottage while I am in the Inn, so that's the only way we would have met. It's amazing what can happen when you sit next to someone for a 30 minute van ride. Also, you mention having your sister also in the same facility. My sister is also here with me (she lives in an apartment at the opposite end of the building). I have told the wait staff (who assign seating for meals) not to put me with my sister every night, since I already know her and want to get to know others.