When first dx we went to a few meetings with the alz society but everyone was much older and I asked if there were any other early onset couples we could get in touch with got a couple of numbers. One fellow I called we had a good chat and I suggested maybe the 4 of us could meet sometime he said no my wife does not see anyone anymore. At the time This sort of shocked me. I was always told do things while you can remain social keep moving which is what we did and I feel did well. The last time I talked to our case worker she suggested you know you reach a point where it can be counter productive, the stress and anxiety can be too much. I know dw just wants to stay at home that is her safe place.

We have a family celebration of life in about 10 days for Lisa's uncle no problem with that. She has a large extended family and we were all together for her fathers celebration of life a few months ago they are all supportive. We live on Vancouver island and the event will be on the mainland we haven't been over in a long time and haven't seen many of our good friends in at least a year. We have only been here about 6 years. I suggested let's take the motorhome we can visit friends, they always ask how we are, the motorhome gives us our own familiar place to stay. We could also visit The smaller town where we spent most of our working years and see a lot of people. Lisa says good idea.

I posted last night about our disastrous anniversary dinner last night. Lisa had a long day going out with our friend(caregiver 4 hours a week) she then volunteered to come back and do Lisa's hair before we went out, I invited her and husband by for a glass of wine. By the time we got to restaurant Lisa not good. Could Not use utensils kept trying to pick up the flowers on the table cloth with her fork. Had to help her all through dinner food all over. I think a combo of being tired and a couple of glasses of wine just made everything worse.

Here is my dilemma, Is going on a trip where we will see a lot of people a good thing? Things have gone down hill a great deal I the last while If we go should I prepare people who we haven't seen in a long time? If we go to the smaller town (whistler) will run into casual friends, coworkers etc, Lisa won't remember them. She could be totally oblivious or could be just too much for her. As for me I have always been a fairly emotional person but when I start to talk to people about it that is when I have a hard time and start to loose it. It might be too much for me.
Part of me says just circle the wagons stay home where it is safe, the other part says go see a few people in the lower mainland, forget whistler and maybe go somewhere on our own for a couple of days and see how that goes.
Is it ever time to just basicly stay home?

Rona,
If Lisa says it is a good idea to go in the motorhome, then go and see what happens.
As Charlotte said, if it becomes too stressful for Lisa you can always go back to the motorhome.
I wouldn't worry too much about the anniversary dinner. Being tired and the wine could have played a part in the ordeal.
Don't give up too soon. As long as Lisa is physically able, keep her moving.
If you think certain people won't be able to deal with the changes in her, just work around them.
Seek out every happy moment you can.

Rona, its my opinion to go as long as you can safely and feel comfort in the trip. there will come a time soon enough they cant travel and being among sounds and people wont work as well. its mainly for you too remember to socialize as long as possible while able. many here had some alzheimers cards made up ready to hand out to friends so they can know that your wife may act differently. those closet to you of course you may want to advise beforehand in person. one has to remain flexible while out with a dementia loved one. only you will know when its time to take her to her safe place. its amazing how in tune we become while caregiving. best of luck. divvi*