I'd like Myrtle's opinion on my thoughts: What would Marg have to lose if she were to give this new info. to her newspaper contact? In Vancouver, Canada, CBC radio has an agency that will step in when a person has such a problem. They get to the bottom of things quickly. No one likes bad publicity, and Marge has already stated, the city is already defensive about this. Margaret has played such a clean game about this whole affair that the impression may be that she can be intimidated. I don't think she would be compromising herself if she gave a truthful, respectful account of the facts — let the tough guys (the press) take up the battle for her and everyone. Myrtle, please give us your opinion.
Mary75, Thank you for your comments. I have sincerely tried to get to the bottom of this, and find out the truth. I believe that the Home was very good in their care of Rene, and have expressed that clearly. I truly believe that the Administrator is doing a really good job balancing the care of the residents with the demands of a powerful union, and I respect her. But the City calls the shots, and their stance is so dismissive of anything that is not in their best interests. The Detective says he is working to get to the bottom of this, and questioning people involved. As I stated previously, my only concern was Rene in his final days. I need to know that he was not humiliated or disrespected, and, because of the secrecy that has surrounded any questions by me, I need some kind of proof, not just someone saying ‘go away’ and trying to use big government tactics against ordinary people. We all deserve respect, particularly when we cannot stand up for ourselves. They’re got my Irish up, and my background is Scottish, lol!
Since I know nothing about Canadian law, I can’t advise you but based on what you have told us, it seems you still have a few avenues to pursue.
First, let’s look at what you wanted to get out of this. You said you wanted to know what exactly happened, the identity of the employee who took the video, and whether there was any disciplinary action. You did learn about disciplinary action (the employee was fired), you learned a little about the video (it was taken in the bathroom while your husband was getting a bath), and you did not learn the identity of the staff member. There is one other important thing: Some kind of evidence that the video was destroyed. (If I remember correctly, you were told earlier that the employee refused to submit her cellphone for inspection and then you were told the video has been destroyed. If the employee refused to hand over her cell phone for inspection, how can the administration be sure that the video has been destroyed?
So what do you still want to get out of this? I am guessing you want to know the identity of the wrongdoer, a more precise description of the video, and some kind of proof that the video is not still out there. There are several avenues for accomplishing this: 1. The nursing home. A dead end. 2. MOH. Another dead end. 3. Criminal investigation. Still a possibility. The Detective says he is working to get to the bottom of this, so you may have some success going down this path. (It would be interesting to know if he has talked to the person who reported it to the administration. That person could identify the offending employee and probably give a detailed description of the video.) 4. The media. I’m impressed with the attention your newspaper has given to this. I went on their website and I see they have published a few small follow-up stories. Make sure the reporter is aware of the result of the criminal investigation. 5. A lawsuit. A possibility if all else fails. I realize that you do not want money out of this but sometimes you have to file a suit for money damages just to force the other side to settle for something else. So if the criminal investigation does not result in a prosecution, you could file a lawsuit against the nursing home. Even though you would be asking for money damages, you might be able to settle for something else, i.e., the information they have refused to give you.
Here is an example of someone who had to file a lawsuit to get information: In the 1980s, a friend was looking for a job. She used the employment service of a national professional association, which would send the applicant’s resume+reference letters to hiring institutions. My friend got into a dispute with a professor. (She reported him for falsifying an expense report.) Without my friend’s knowledge, this sneaky prof. sent a defamatory “reference letter” to the national association, which then forwarded it on to every employer she had applied to. Someone on a hiring committee wrote to her anonymously telling her about the libelous letter. All she wanted was a copy of it but the association refused to produce it. So she sued the association an they settled the case by the association giving her a copy of the letter. A lot of trouble and expense to go to just to get information but sometimes that’s all that will work.
Dear Mary 75 and Myrtle, Thank you SO much for your advice/input. 1) I do want to know exactly what happened. Not knowing is much worse than knowing. 2) At this point I don’t HAVE to know the identity of the employee; it’s consolation enough just knowing that she’s not doing this to others. In one way I would have liked to know who she was, because they I could gauge her intent. I knew most of the PSWs because I was there so often. If it was a stupid mistake, that would be one thing – if it was malicious, that’s another. 3) Re: your (3) The Detective will be trying to interview both PSWs this week. He said that the suspected videotaper could refuse to be interviewed, and that is her right. (I told him to make sure to thank the PSW who reported.) I have witnessed that some PSWs will NEVER report another employee – they are either afraid of the union or being ostrasized by other PSWs. 4) The Detective said he would try to ascertain if there was, in fact, a videotape. To me this does not make sense – why would the other PSW report it, and also why would the Union rep say that the PSW was asked for her SIM card and camera and she refused to give it. Most people would willingly co-operate immediately. I will wait until I hear from him, hopefully by the end of the week. (I don’t know how he will feel about my telling all this, but I did tell him that I would be fully cooperating with the reporter who helped when others turned a deaf ear. 5) I will keep the reporter informed of anything new – he’s been friendly and he's a health reporter who is respected for the work he does. 6) About a lawsuit, I had hoped to avoid any other legal action, because it is so stressful, expensive, and takes so much time. I look forward to having answers and putting this behind me, so I can try to come to terms with my life now. I’ve let myself go in every way, and am feeling it. But, I will most definitely consider what to do next. We’ve come this far – it would be hard to settle without a good solution now. Thank you both so much for your advice/input. God bless. Margaret
Dear Mary 75, regarding your advice (much appreciated) there might be something similar here in London. My first thought would be – would I be betraying the reporter who has been so willing to help so far. My feeling about City Legal is that, so far, everything I have told them I would do, I have done. A few months after Rene’s passing, with no response, I gave them a deadline, and then I stuck to my word. I responded strongly to their opposition to giving me information. I told them I would go the press. I have kept my word on everything I said. I think they feel I am now ‘a loose cannon’, but I also think they know this will not go away without answers. Since Rene's illness I have learned it's absolutely necessary to speak up sometimes. No more shrinking violet, lol. Thanks very much for caring, Mary.
Thanks again Mary and Myrtle, You have given me information to think about and work with. It helps, for sure. I hope that I don’t sound tough; I have changed a lot since this began … more tired, more stressed, but more determined to not allow government to push me around because they are bigger. Please know that I sincerely appreciate your comments/suggestions. They give me your wise advice, and another way to look at things, which is very important. Sincerely meant, if there is something I can do for anyone on this board, I will do my very best to help.
If you are able to get the info. you want from the Detective, why spend more energy on the City's Legal Dept.? I doubt that the City cares whether you know what's on the video (or even whether you know the identity of the employee). All they care about is that you don't get this info. from them because if you did, the City would be breaking the law or breaching its contract with the union or whatever.
As far as the reporter goes, the issue is whether he would see it as a betrayal (rather than whether it actually would be a betrayal). If you really want to go on as radio show, you could always ask him if that would bother him. So far, he has been one of your supporters in this.
What are you going to do if you do find out what was on the video and it is really offensive?
(These are all rhetorical questions. You don't have to answer them.)
My wish still, Myrtle, is that there was no video tape. If the Detective finds there was none, I would want to speak with both PSWs. If I found that what was on the video was really offensive, I would have no choice but to go after the PSW who took it, and put it on the record so she could never work with vulnerable people again. You are right about the City Legal Dept. For me now, though, I would like to prepare the appeal, just in case I don’t get info from the Detective. I have only 30 days from December 9th when they issued their refusal to give info. Does that make sense? If I abandon the appeal, the only way I could get info. would be to put pressure via the media, I think. Thank you for this advice, and helping to put more into this thought process. Wish I could help you back!
I did not know you had the right to appeal. By all means, prepare the appeal and no matter what the detective comes up with, go ahead and file it. (You can probably withdraw it later if you get what you want elsewhere.)
P.S. This shows the problems inherent in getting advice from someone who really does not know what is going on. Is that lawyer still representing you?
I have the right to appeal to the Information and Privacy Commissioner for the Province of Ontario. Thanks, again, Myrtle. I know you have your hands full with your husband and your work, and it is incredibly kind of you to take the time to help.
Margaret, you've probably answered this before, but: Isn't this a criminal offence and reportable to the police? I think that if I took an unauthorized video of my neighbor taking a shower, I could be charged. Do you have a Senior's Ombudsman in Ontario? We have one in B.C., available on line via Google. It's a straightforward complaint and inquiry form. I found them very helpful when I had major problems with Royal Trust who was Eric's executor. The Ombudsman knew what to do and exactly who to contact. One thing I've learned over time is that there is always someone very good at the top any organization. The key it get in touch with that person. The Ombudsman advised me to get in touch with the president of the Royal Bank (under whose umbrella the Royal Trust operates) and gave me his contact info.. He appointed a Vice President to guide me the rest of the way and for the 4 years after my husband's death until the estate was settled.
Mary, If this did indeed happen, it is a criminal offence. The Detective is now checking that out – interviewing the PSW who reported the incident and the PSW who supposedly took the video. There is a question around if they reported it (MOH says they did), and if the way they did it was clear. I’m going to check into the Senior Ombudsman for Ontario. Thanks for that. I am so happy that it worked out for you this way. I will let you know what happens.
I checked under the Senior Ombudsman's office for Ontario, but they don't investigate LTC homes (see below). "The Ombudsman CANNOT investigate hospitals and long-term care homes, but will oversee the Patient Ombudsman once it is established under Bill 8. The Ombudsman also has no jurisdiction over private companies or individuals, doctors, lawyers, decisions of judges or courts, the Ontario Cabinet, or the federal government."
They referred me to an action line, and it ends up that it's the same office as the inspector who did the Dearness investigation. It was a good try, though. Now I am checking with the Information and Privacy Commissioner's office. I don't want to wait until the detective reports back, because I don't want to waste time. Do you think I'm rushing too much? Thanks, Mary
I have a friend who is a retired RCMP officer. Here are his comments: "Unfortunately, copies could have been made of this video and, therefore, they may never all be retrieved. "It is unlikely that the aide (who reported that the other aide made the video) will testify against her fellow worker. "It would have been a kindness if the wife had never received this information, or if the care home had told the wife that the video had been destroyed, and thus protected her from this anguish ."
Margaret,I don't like to be the bearer of this kind of news to you, but this retired RCMP officer is a down-to-earth, practical, good man who has had much experience, and I would be inclined to follow his advice to move on. You can safely put it, yourself and your husband in God's hands. Peace, dear Margaret, you know that light will always overcomes darkness.
Thank you for that information. If I had not been told this, it would have been much easier, but, on the other hand, if these things don't come to light they can happen again and again to others who truly don't have anyone to stand up for them. It's so hard to believe that people can be so cruel, especially to defenseless people. I've had a few calls from Rene's friends in Switzerland - they say there were problems like this in Zurich within the last year - workers humiliating seniors at a LTC home, and that everyone was furious about it, and some were charged. It is not good getting older and being unable to fend for ourselves, is it? I know your religion is very important, and I can see that it can be a great comfort. I did contact the Information and Privacy Commissioner's Office in Toronto, and I will file the appeal. I should be hearing from the Detective hopefully this week. I will think seriously about your advice. Thank you very much for caring. It means a lot. I will let you know what happens.
Marg, Mary's word are caring and wise, as always but I don't think that you will ever have any peace within yourself unless you follow through to the (bitter?) end. As you say, there are still too many unanswered questions and though it would have been better if you had never been told about this dreadful episode, you have been told and it cannot be untold so (I think) that your choice has already been made for you. Do try to take a deep breath occassionally, Marg and don't wipe yourself out or it will all be for nothing. Take care, cassie.
I agree with cassie*. You cannot un-ring this bell. Plus, you still have several avenues of relief: the appeal, the criminal investigation, and the press. You do not need to win them all to get the information you want. But keep in mind that this might take some time, so for your own peace of mind, you have to guard against thinking about it constantly.
Two things that might make you feel better. Although copies could have been made of the video, frankly (and with no disrespect meant to your husband), this would not seem to be the sort of video that would attract an audience. So I would not worry about that. Second, you did not list the criminal conviction of the offender as one of your goals. So even if her former coworker declines to testify in court, the criminal investigation itself (short of a conviction or even a trial) might reveal what you want to know - exactly what was on the video.
Please let us know what happens. As you can see, we are interested.
Ladies, Thank you all for your input and support. It helps me to keep going. I hope that by the week-end the Detective can give me at least a bit of information. My feeling is that the reporter is keeping an eye on that too, because he told me I should be getting some info with the next week or so. I will keep you informed of what is going on. I had a phone call this evening from another caregiver who looked after husband in much the same way as I looked after Rene. She's feeling very low (it's been about 9 months for her), and says she cries every day. When things settle down a bit we'll get together. There have been a few people who've phoned to find out what happened, and are rooting for us. God bless all of you.
I have reread the whole thread, including the article written by the reporter. I hope you will take the following in the spirit it is meant, which is to suggest to you that justice is in the process of being done, although it is slow and painful for you. There is a fundamental principal here: A person is presumed innocent until proven guilty. The aide may have been falsely accused. She has the right not to hand over her phone, open her purse or in anyway give up her right to privacy until the charge is proved. Her union representative would have advised her to grieve unlawful dismissal. In other words, the city-operated care facility did not have the right to fire their union aide until the aide was proven guilty. Suppose that I, Mary, was working as an RN and a fellow worker, who had a grudge against me, told the supervisor, “I saw Mary take a vial of Demerol and put it in her purse.” Suppose the supervisor wanted me to open my purse to show that I did not have any Demerol. Suppose I had something in my purse that I didn’t want to show, say pictures of naked men, it is my right to protect my privacy and refuse to open my purse. The supervisor has the right to set up hidden cameras over the drug cabinet to film me to catch me if indeed I was in the habit of stealing Dermerol. Then she would have proof, and she could to fire me. You have done all that is necessary to see that this incident is investigated. It is now in the hands of the law: it is being investigated, and there will be a lawful conclusion in due time. We don’t have a perfect system, but it is the best we have, and we have to work within it. It is most unfortunate that you have had to suffer through this, and the emotional toil to you is unimaginable. But, dear Margaret, please consider that the law is being upheld and that the rights of all, including the accused, are being respected.
Mary, I am in total agreement with you that this must play out. I only wish I had known the name of the PSW who supposedly took the video, and the one who reported - then I would have a better idea if it was, indeed, an unthinking mistake on her part. And I could live with that if I had been able to sit down and speak with both PSWs. As I mentioned many times, I knew most of the PSWs - there were one or two that I had qualms about when dealing with Rene, because he was not, in the last stages, easy to deal with - i.e. totally incontinent, etc., and sometimes workers get impatient because of their workload. That’s why I always did everything I could for him to ease their burden. At a meeting between my lawyer and I and the solicitor for the City and the Administrator, my lawyer brought up the issue – “if you did not feel she was guilty, how could you have disciplined her?” Then, I was told by the MOH that they have a method for trying to determine if she was lying. They decided to terminate. I believe there may be a grievance, and the City is preparing themselves for that. But, I do not believe the City was acting properly when they totally rejected our FOI request. We asked only for info about Rene, but they blanketed everything by covering: ‘The records responsive to your request relate to meetings, consultations, discussion or communications about labour relations or employment-related matters in which The Corporation of the City of London has an interest. Therefore pursuant to Section 52(3) of the Act, any records which may be responsive to your request are excluded from the access provisions of the Act and therefore your request is denied.’ How can anyone possibly get information when they have covered their bases so completely? Surely we have some rights! We did not ask about meetings, consultations, discussion or communications about labour relations or employment-related matter. Our request was:’ specifically, we request records of the interview with the person who actively videotaped Mr. Karrer and the person(s) who was shown the tape and what was reported to be visible on the tape. Further, we request the records reflecting the corrective action taken by the City in regards to the employees(s) involved. Additionally, we request the dates the investigation began and ended, who was responsible for the investigation and was the person or any person who investigated, independent of the City.” Mary, I am totally with you, in that I do not want someone punished for something they did not do. I feel strongly about that. But I want to make sure that if this person took this action against my husband, who was at death’s door, and did it with a bad intent, then I would want them to be kept away from others who truly cannot defend themselves. I will do everything I can to try to find the truth – I filed an appeal today to the Information and Privacy Commissioner of Ontario. I am awaiting the results of the Detective’s investigation. Somewhere, hopefully, we will find the truth. I began this search because THEY advised me about the video - I had to try to protect my husband.
I sincerely appreciate your comments and any input, and that of anyone who would like to comment. In the end, it’s all about finding the truth.
I don't have as much information or knowledge of details as you do, but if a case is under investigation, I would think that is not to be discussed except between the legal representatives. You will know in due time, when it has gone through proper procedures, is completed and a considered legal conclusion drawn. Otherwise, couldn't grave damage be done, even to the legality of the case? I understand this to be the "due process of law." I sympathize with your questions and impatience to have them answered, but I think it would be better if you let the process unfold as it is already set up to do.
Thanks, Mary for those comments. I have done about all I could do, and hopefully there will justice ... whatever that is. I do appreciate your comments/advice. God bless.
I'm following these discussions closely, Mary and Margaret, although being in the U.S., I can't really comment on how the "system" there in Canada is functioning. There's more than one way to skin a cat, I guess...it's like they're doing the same things we would do here, but in a somewhat different way. Do keep us updated.
Hi Mary and Elizabeth, Mary, I tried SO hard to get cooperation from the City in the first four months, and it was extremely upsetting, having watched him dying, and not getting any answers … ‘just move on, and grieve your husband”. The person who said this might not have meant it the way it came out, but it sure hurt. How could I? Even with legal assistance, they refused to give information. I truly felt that they were hoping I would just go away, and this would die. Then I went to the newspaper. This reporter has a very good reputation, and has won awards for his work. I believe he is a good man, and he said he’d try to help me get answers. I do not regret posting what the City said in their response to our request for FOI. With this attitude, how can an ordinary person get information from big organizations/government? People should know just how difficult it can be, and newspapers can bring such problems to light, and hopefully a resolution. As I said, they came to me, and told me about the illegal videotaping. It is unfair, in my opinion, for them to think that I could just forget this and wait a few years for answers – it was a difficult time, and I loved my husband very much. I will have no peace until there is a resolution. I am sincerely trying to be fair – no one knows the identity of the accused. In my heart I am still hoping this was a stupid, unthinking mistake, but it was also denying my husband his privacy and dignity. And they should all know the rules. They do get training. Mary, I do understand what you are saying … but if I had not been proactive, I think this would have died and I may never have found out what happened. Now I have filed an appeal against the decision, the police are investigating, as, supposedly they should have been when it happened, and the reporter, I believe, will be fair. Sometimes we have to give justice a little nudge. Now I will hold off until something happens, and hope it won’t take too long. I’m so tired, and would like to put it all to rest and just try to move on.
Yes, Marg you must be exhausted. I do hope that you will have some peace and joy over Christmas. Nothing at all would have happened without your "nudge" so hopefully there will be a positive outcome soon. I believe that you have done the right thing in pursuing this and I for one, would have done exactly as you have. You always spoke on your husbands behalf when he was alive and kept him safe, when necessary so I understand your need to resolve this matter. I can remember your early posts and your determination to help your DH was very impressive!!
What will you do if you never get the closure on this you are hoping for? When will it be enough to let it go and go on? Or would you let it eat at you for the rest of your life?
Forgiveness is not for the person that wronged you, forgiveness is for you. Unforgiveness is like dragging around a ball and chain and forgiveness releases that from dragging you down.
In all honesty, I don't know why they can't delete names in the report and let you see it. Then you would at least know the person was identified, if indeed there was a video, the intent for doing it and actions taken both towards the person(s) that did the video and future employees.
Thanks very much for your comments, Cassie. They are appreciated. Charlotte, I feel in my heart that if I know the events surrounding it, I can have peace about his passing. I also feel that I don't want revenge - if I found it was malicious, I would pursue it to make sure the person gets a bad reference and not be allowed to work around helpless people. Perhaps I will never have that power. But it's just this terrible need to know WHAT happened to him before I can move on and rest. Like you, I would be satisfied if they blanked out the names and just gave me the account of what happened. I feel I would be unfaithful to him if I let this be buried without knowing. It's difficult for me to express it more clearly. It sounds corny, but "I promise .... in sickness and in health ... to love to cherish until death". I just read Elizabeth's notes in her old journals, and I understand how she felt. Rene was very special to me, too, and I would have done anything for him. Thanks, all.
Apple, Wow! This is exactly what marg78* is dealing with. Marg, if you go onto ProPublica's website (propublica.org), you will see a list of the incidents, with details and outcomes for each. This shows that Rene was not alone in being victimized by this bizarre behavior. I wonder if any cases in Canada have come to the attention of the ProPublica news group?
Thank you very much, Apple. I just sent this along to the detective and the nursing home. I will send it along to the reporter. Thanks, also, Myrtle. Off to an appointment.
Here is another article from our local newspaper. I so appreciate the reporter keeping this at the forefront until we get some kind of resolution. The Detective said he's almost finished with his investigation, and I am hoping to hear within the next few weeks. He said they are also bound by the FOI, so we will see. I am still hopeful that somehow this will be resolved quickly. I very much respect the Administrator of the Home, and sent her an email telling her that, and saying how much I appreciated all the care my husband received - that it was not personal - I just had to know what happened. Hopefully she will understand.
Good to see that this issue continues to be spotlighted, Margaret.
As far as I know, if an employee in the States would be caught photographing or videotaping a client without their permission or the necessary sign-offs from the family or guardian, I imagine the employee would be terminated, and the whole staff re-trained on the regulations. The whole thing would be handled at the supervisory level. But I don't think there would be a requirement to call the police or report it to the state. I do believe the family would be notified, as this would be termed an "incident", and the facilities do call the families to report incidents such as falls or whatever. (Actually, it probably would go to the state at the end of the year for statistical purposes if nothing else. I'm really only knowledgeable about New York...and it's been a while.) Maybe other American health care folks could chime in on this to correct me if I'm wrong. (I've never had it happen...we pounded it into the aides that photography, videos, audio recording...were all strictly forbidden. They all are glued to their cell phones these days, so we really have to be firm with them, and give them no wiggle room whatsoever.
Anyway, I'm still not clear about what you want to find out, Margaret, and about specifically what resolution you are seeking. Are you hoping that they can subpoena the individual and perhaps recover the video from her cell phone? Or bring legal charges against her?
Elizabeth, I am only hoping that the truth will come out, regardless of what it is. I am not a vindictive person, but the shock of finding this out - I needed to know exactly what happened to my Rene, and to make sure that it doesn't happen to anyone else who is so vulnerable. Dignity and privacy and respect are so important. I am probably a pain to everyone, but I believe this is important. The day I received the 'privileged' info from the MOH (having to prove that I was power of attorney, etc.), and not totally understanding the report (the incident - which I thought was the taking of the video, but was, in fact when the PSW viewed the video), I found the address of the MOH office, put on my coat and went there, saying I needed to speak with someone for clarification about this report. I knew that if I let it go through the regular channels it would take weeks to get an answer), I met with two supervisors. They were very good, professional, and kind - explaining that the 'incident' was the 'viewing of the videotape'. At the end of the meeting I felt that they had done their job properly, and we ended on a very good note.
The MOH inspector also confirmed that she had checked carefully, and that every new employee was properly trained. According to the regulations here, if there is a possibility of abuse (criminal) the Home needs to notify the police. I feel it is very important (how would you feel if it was Larry?) that you should be notified.
Can you understand my position? Perhaps I am not explaining it properly.
I want that, if this was malicious, the PSW not be allowed to work with others who are so defenseless. If it was not malicious I am open to discussing this. I just want to make sure my husband's dignity and privacy were not disrespected.
Elizabeth and all, He was such a good husband, and I loved my husband with all my heart, but I know how vulnerable he was. The staff at the Home were very good to him, but it takes only one or two bad apples to ruin the reputation of the institution. I needed to protect him at all costs. If you feel that my actions were not correct, please let me know. In my heart I FEEL that what I did was for the right reasons - but I am always open to other views.
I only wish I was as good at getting to the point and expressing myself as you and others are.
Marg, I don't think any of us fault what you are seeking. I think maybe we fear you becoming obsessed with this to the point of taking a toll on you. I know I am concerned if you can't get the resolution you are seeking, how would that affect you. Will you be able to let it go?
Thanks for your comments, Charlotte. I am much happier now that the facts are slowly coming out, and I think I will be able to accept once I get the police report. But it took pushing and letting everyone know that I was not going to give up until I knew what happened to Rene. The reporter was the best help of all. They all hate publicity. He can go to the police and the union, whereas I can't. He said he would help me try to get answers, and he's doing that. His job is reporting on health matters, and he's very good at it. So, people are doing their jobs, and hopefully all of this will be a learning experience. Sometimes it's necessary to make waves to get at the truth. But I think that I will be able to let go. Thanks,
But what do you mean when you say you want the truth? (Of course you do--I'm not questioning that.) But you know that an employee who took a video of him in the shower was terminated. What happened was reported in the newspaper, to bring awareness of the issue to others. I'm probably being dense, but can you be more clear about what more specifically you are looking for?
I am worried that you are hurting yourself with your worry about this. You took such good care of Rene and his interests...and in turn, that helped others. I am not sure what more you feel needs to be done.
Yes, if it was Larry I would be in there with a bazooka blowing the place up. I hear you loud and clear on that one.
marg78*, The four-month period of inaction shows that if the newspaper had not published the story, the police would never have investigated this incident. A big part of the problem here is the process. As you noted earlier, everybody seems to be protected except the person who was injured. (That's probably especially true where the injured person is no longer alive.) It seems that just to get some simple answers, you've had to move heaven and earth. If the process for addressing this matter had been more open and reasonable, you would never have had to do that.
P.S. At my husband's facility, there is no possible way that an employee could innocently photograph a resident who is undressed or receiving care. Photographs are not forbidden and you see many photos of residents engaging in recreational activities. (I don't remember if I signed permission for this on admission.) What is absolutely stressed, however, is the residents' privacy and dignity. There are signs in every employee area (including restrooms) reminding staff that the curtains around a resident's bed must be closed when he is receiving care, that he is covered when being transported, that clinical details should not be discussed in public areas or where others can overhear them, and there are even reminders about this in the elevators.
Dear Elizabeth and Myrtle, The way I am expressing myself is probably dense (ha, ha). For me to be satisfied now, I would like to know the substance of the interview with the PSW who reported seeing the videotape. Do you think that would be unreasonable? And I don't want one or two words. As you know there is a grievance, and I want to ensure that this person is not rehired if it was demeaning to Rene. I want to restore his dignity. Then, I think I will be able to let go. I feel really good about making them open up. I believe that some rules will be changed, and it will protect other residents. That will be Rene's parting gift!
If I had not gotten the name of the police officer and phoned, I am sure this would have been forgotten.
Anyway, I am a bit obsessed and stressed, but it's getting better with each little step forward.
Myrtle, I got that book "The life-changing magic of tidying up". Our house is generally neat, but this book opens up a whole new way of looking at things, and I know I'm going to be implementing a lot of the suggestions. I'm only at page 57, but am looking forward to reading the rest.
To all the board members and your loved ones, wishing you the very best in the New Year. God bless all as you battle this disease, and for those whose spouses have already passed, peace and hopefully we can all move forward.
I read the article and the last paragraph got to me: The worker who filmed him, a personal support worker who attended to non-medical needs, has since been fired and has filed a grievance, the worker’s union, Unifor, has said.
If this person did do it, the union should not be supporting her. But, then again, if it was the first offense, maybe the union feels a warning or probation would have been a better punishment. But then unions often don't care right/wrong of the crime.
Hi Charlotte, Hopefully we will know within the next month. My belief is that unions can really be helpful, but they often defend wrongdoers. We will see what develops. I wish you the very best for 2016 - you deserve it!
The job of a Union is to defend its members. In this way it is like a lawyer. Some find this annoying but it ensures that employers take the proper steps when terminating employment and do not act in an arbitrary way. Think what happens when companies try to deny you the write of representation (think of all companies that have you sign contracts requiring disputes be resolved in a distant state and you are prohibited from suing them).
Here goes, Charlotte. Just don't want to bore folks.
I filed a Notice of Appeal against the City’s refusal to give me information, and yesterday received a Notice of Mediation. Today I called the office and spoke with the Mediator who will be handling the file. I outlined what had happened from my perspective; told her that I did not need to know the names of the PSW who made the video or the PSW who reported it (although I would certainly like to thank her personally). I said that my husband meant everything to me, and that I would not be satisfied until I saw a copy of the report made about the video, and if a video surfaced, I wanted to see that. I stressed that I did not want a few lines about the report, but I wanted to see the actual report, even if names were blacked out. She said she has a contact at City Legal, and will be in touch with her. She will try to get me some closure. She will try to get back to me within 3 weeks. She said that if the City is not willing to give me information, it will move on to Inquiry.
Also, I was in touch with the Detective who is working on this. He said they had taken an extra step, and it would take a little more time, but they will contact me. I will still have to make a FOI application for the Police report.
I know that some think I am being difficult, but in my heart I feel strongly that I am doing the right thing. I will never be able to move on until I know. I am only trying to get information that I am entitled to, so I can finally allow my husband and I to be at peace, and perhaps I can begin to lose the 30 pounds I’ve gained since his passing.
Any comments appreciated, even if we don't share the same viewpoint. This cannot possibly cause more stress than it has.
It seems reasonable to me that you should see a copy of the report. But you do need to keep your stress levels down, Margaret. No wife could have done...or is...doing more. You need to give yourself a big pat on the back, and just relax a bit and let the process play out.