Sometimes I would swear that there is nothing wrong with him, other days???? Yesterday k came home to visit but ended up putting up curtains that I hadn't bothered with because there were blinds but he said you always liked your curtain, so up they went. We had a great day. He took his time and the only think I noticed was that he tires very fast, so lots of little breaks. He was so proud of himself when he was done. This is a very big difference from last week when he was so agitated and just plain nasty. We went for dinner and the waitress led us to a nice quiet room and I turned around and he wasn't there. She said he has gone into the larger room, I'll go and get him. I quickly told her he has dementia and I will go. We ended up at a table in the large room but off to the side. He said she should have let the customer decide where they want to sit. I said she did. I decided and I am the customer as well. He just looked kind of confused for a moment then he got the picture. I'm very blessed with the few times that he is his old self with a few variants but mostly good. I don't understand this new person but I will accept and enjoy the good times. His memory is not good and I know that it won't be long before he has no idea who I am so I will treasure what I have for now. My family think that I am making caregiving to ridged so they don't want to bother helping. He's in LTC for a reason. He needs structure and rules. I don't make these rules they do and he really needs them. Being X military he gets along better with rules and regulations. When he was still at home his Doctor's kept telling me to set up a schedule and it worked. I have told the family " if you can't help, don't get in the way" k says " they call me and ask" what did you do today" how the hell am I supposed to answer that. I don't remember. Don't they know that" he would prefer they stay away as they don't understand him or what is happening to him. What a terrible disease. My friend says to just enjoy the special moments as soon they will be gone. So that's what I am doing and I am starting to be better in my own life. I sometimes feel bad that he has to live in LTC but that is the best place for him. He can be a handful.
I liked reading about Kevan's visit, and that you had a nice time. Yes, definitely moments to treasure. Take a few pictures during the good times, too. I am not much interested in taking pix and videos on my cell phone, but my daughter takes a certain amount of pictures because of course she is documenting the kids. She used to get Larry in the pictures, too, and after he died she put together one of those Shutterfly books capturing a lot of nice occasions over the past couple of years before he really got bad. (Grandpa in the W/C and the two-year-old beside him just smirking at each other, Grandpa and the three-year-old looking at baseballs, Grandpa opening a Christmas gift, Grandpa with a big grin on his face for no particular reason, etc. etc.) The pix are not fabulous, and would bore anybody else to tears...but I like looking at them. Just ordinary, pleasant times.
Oh Elizabeth I loved your thread. Funny thing is Kevan takes pictures of himself with his computer and they are so cute. He sends them out to everyone. I am keeping tack of these good days they are so rare and so far apart now.