Sorry to title it like that, but that's kind of the way I feel today. Forty-nine years ago today I married the man of my dreams.....WTH happened??????
Dan really has no idea that it's our anniversary - actually, I understand that & can accept it. Just another day for us. That's the way it is. When I wished him happy 49th anniversary, his response was "how did we do it?" :) Kind of made me chuckle...such a romantic!
I'm seeing more changes in him now....seems to be accelerating a bit. For so many years, it seemed nothing changed, but it is now. Still manageable (if I can keep my wits about me). We went to Steak n Shake for a hamburger, he cleaned his plate, then asked me if he had just eaten a hamburger! Sometimes it really can be a little amusing - but not always! His confusion seems to be getting worse, seems to be kind of oblivious a lot more of the time...the next year could be interesting!! i haven't posted anything much, I've been feeling so down (doctor is changing my meds) & with all of the losses on this blog lately, my problems seem to pale in comparison. Others are dealing with much more that I am at the moment...my heart goes out to all who have had to put a star after their name, but I hardly know what to say.
Mim, Happy anniversary! I am in the middle of the 49th year of marriage also, and like you , I also wonder WTH happened??? Sometime around eleven or twelve years ago the peaceful marriage took a wrong turn! DH doesn't communicate at all so I just let all special days slide on by. His behavior also appears to be going downhill lately. I sure would like to get off this bumpy road and back on the pavement for a while. Your posts always give me chuckle, so thanks, Friend.
Please don't try to minimize or compare what you are going through to others. Whatever stage we are in, whatever feelings we are feeling, they are individual to each of us and very traumatic to us, regardless of what others are experiencing. You have every right to feel down - losing your dearest husband piece by piece, year by year is, IMHO, an absolute emotional nightmare. But if you can feel yourself slipping down....down.....down....I think it's a good idea to discuss it with your doctor, as you have done. At one point in our Alzheimer journey, my doctor had to double my antidepressant. I was on 50mg. of Zoloft, and apparently, the standard dose is 100mg. I noticed a more positive change in my mood within a matter of days. Obviously I wasn't dancing on tables, but at least I could get out of bed in the morning and get things done. Geez, this disease lowers our expectations, doesn't it?
I wish you a happy 49th, and many more. In spite of all the negative stuff that's been thrown at you, You seem to have a good attitude about it.
I think attitude is so important in a caregivers situation. It's the only thing we have any control over.......Keep it up Mim.....And be proud of yourself.
Bless you, Mim, and don't ever feel that your issues are less important than anyone else's. All stages of this disease are painful and difficult, but it is wonderful to hear you are still able to chuckle at some of your husband's remarks. My husband made me laugh at times until the day he finally stopped talking completely, and his sense of humor has helped me even after his death. You are a blessing to him, and to us, and most of all to yourself.
Fortunately, I have been blessed with a sense of humor, although it's wearing a little thin! I try to find even a hint of humor in life situation, but I have to admit, this particular life situation doesn't lend itself to a lot of humor!
To others, I suppose sometimes my humor could be considered a little irreverent (weird?), but I'm not meaning it that way. My kids understand it (they're just like me - oh dear!) & hopefully on this website if I say something that could sound a little strange, it won't be offensive or hurtful. That would be the last thing I would want.
I was so upset that evening, so sickened really, I just had to let it out to someone - you lucky folks are it!! It was a minor incident actually, but it's good to know you understand & encourage...thank you.
Joni, I hope & pray I'm a blessing to him (well, at least some of the time). I don't think he sees me that way! Although one late afternoon we went to Panera's for an early supper (that's a whole other story - never again!) & he went to the men's room when he was finished eating. I waiting in the booth, I could see him when he came out, but he didn't see me at first. Then when he saw me, he looked so relieved & said "oh, I thought I'd lost you"...those things break my heart.