This has been a week of living hell for me and my DH. I went to see him on Wednesday and he was fine. We even had somewhat of a conversation although most of it didn't make sense. I drove home thinking well maybe things are going to settle down now and we are going to be ok for a while. NO SUCH LUCK! The nursing home called me at 4:30 and said that Jax had decided he could walk and he tried to get out of his wheelchair. He took a nosedive into the floor and gashed his head open and bruised his hand and arm. They got the gash in his forehead taken care of. Then on Thursday night they called me at 11:30 pm and said they had to take him to the hospital because there had been an accident with his catheter and they couldn't get the bleeding to stop. The hospital calls me at 12:30 am asking if they could treat him. I had taken a sleeping pill and there was NO way I could get in a car and drive to the hospital. Friday morning early I get up and go to the hospital; they have released him at 6 a.m. and taken him back to the NH. I get to the NH and he is screaming every time anybody touches him. He was the same way today. I told the nurses to give him pain meds every four hours until his soreness and pain is better. I am so exhausted and there is nothing I can do. He moans and hollers (I think maybe he is afraid they will hurt him). I did not get to talk to the dr at the hospital but the nurses told me that a nurse who was replacing his catheter didn't get it up in there far enough and didn't have output and blew up the balloon too soon. He is now on antibiotics for ten days. I am frustrated and I cannot stand to see my DH in so much pain. I know that it will take time for his head and arm and penis to heal, but it just seems like there is no end to the misery. I cried all the way home and feel totally hopeless at this point.
dellmc53, I understand the helplessness and frustration you are going through. It is bad enough that he fell out of his wheelchair and hurt himself. The additional pain caused by an incompetent professional should not have happened. You might ask if the facility will allow a lap belt on his wheelchair to prevent him from falling again. Some facilities consider the belts restrictive and won't use them. I have seen family members demand the belts be used after several falls. I hope Jax will be on the mend and free of pain soon. You are doing your best for him. Sometimes a caregiver spouses best never seems likes it is good enough. Hopefully tomorrow will be a calmer day. Sending you a (hug). I truly do understand.
There was no excuse for the problem with the catheter. I would file a formal complaint about that. That was just poor nursing practice. In terms of the falls out of the wheelchair, they will probably tell you that it is illegal to do anything other than put an alarm on the chair. Sigh. It may be illegal to belt them in, but it sure would seem like the common sense approach. I went through the W/C safety arguments with Larry, too. But anyway, how about one of those chairs on wheels with the tray across the front?
Just make sure they are medicating him for pain and truly keeping him as comfortable as possible. I am so sorry you and he are going through this.
dell I don't know where you live but in Canada we can get a representation agreement that allows me to have him put in restraints if needed.....falling out of a wheelchair sure would count for restraints for his safety. Is there anything like that where you are?
Amber-good to see your name. Sure has been a long journey for you. As silly as it seems-in the US it seems a patient has the right to fall out of his/her wheel chair. My husband had many falls because the facility would have been cited had they used a lap belt.
With my Dear Helen and most other dementia patients in the nursing home. They would just leave the eating tray attached to the wheel chair continually. There was no way for them to fall out.
Dear dellmc53 My heart truly aches for what you and your DH are experiencing. I lost my DH just 10 days ago. He also yelled every time anybody touched or handled him, and moaned and was loud almost all time. Is it possible to make an appointment asap with the doctor and nurse in charge; make sure to make concise notes so that you cover all the bases. Is there anyone who can come along as backup to help? Alzheimer’s is such a cruel disease. I hope you are able to find some answers. Like Elizabeth, I feel that he should be medicated to help him cope.
I talked to the head nurse and they are keeping him medicated to help with the pain. He seemed to be better today. At least he did not scream every time they touched him and he wasn't moaning the whole time. So sorry for your loss Marg78. This just seems to go on and on but I know one day it will end and I won't be ready for that either! They said there is no way that they can restrain him and they are not allowed to do it at all. They even had to stop using gerry walkers because those were considered restraints. So the logic that the lawmakers have is "they are free to fall". Unbelievable!
Thinking of you and your DH, dellmc53. We live in Canada, and, thankfully, it was mandatory that he wear the restraint (belt). Hoping that things ease up a bit ... such a hard, hard journey. Hang in ... for both of you. For us it is two weeks ago today, and although I will love him forever, I would not wish him back considering all the pain, emotional and physical. God bless both of you.
I agree dellmc53. I couldn't believe that they wouldn't allow for a belt on him while in his wheelchair. I thought patients were supposed to be protected from harming themselves or others. My guy simply forgot that he was not able to ambulate alone any longer. He thought he could just stand and walk at will. The belt would have served as a reminder, I believe, and prevented some of his nasty falls.
It is the same with Jax. He forgets that he can no longer walk. I asked them again and they said it was not possible because of state regulations. Sigh. I am just so worn out and wish there was a way to release all of this stress. I am trying to walk every day and that helps some. I know so many people have gone through this horrible,long, hellish process. Just holding on with my fingernails. I miss the life that I used to have and I cannot recreate it. I barely recognize the life I have now and wonder if it is really living or just holding my breath waiting for the next crisis. Thanks for your comments. Somehow it makes it easier.