`Jan, I am so sorry that you have had to spend this respite time sick. You are exhausted. I don't know how you have managed 13 years of home care. This disease is exhausting, physically and emotionally. Have you gotten anything for depression? Are you looking into long term care? You need a break before you break. I hope you get some relief.
Jan, it really sounds like this has all become too much medically, both for you and for him. Are you considering permanent placement for him, rather than just respite? It sounds like it may be time.
I agree that the dream sounded great. I hope I have one of those. (Two nights ago I dreamt about boa constrictors. Good Lord…I hate snakes…no idea why I had that dream. Last night, fortunately, a good night's cosy sleep with no dreams.)
Jan K, Don't feel bad about not getting out of your nightgown or not brushing you hair for whole week. A lot of people have reported doing this. Thirteen years is too long to do this and it sounds like the physical demands of hands-on care giving are starting to overwhelm you. Like elizabeth*, I wonder if it might be time for you to look into LTC for your husband. Would that be a possibility?
This is just a quick tip for those who still have to be up at night or who are too tired and worn down to get dressed in the morning. Go to bed in a long Teeshirt and leggings, or just go to bed in the Tee shirt, and have the leggings nearby for jumping in to quickly. I also recommend Ugg boots…I am on my second pair of the classic black short Uggs. And have a "hoody" near the bed also.
Here's how it works: When you have the ambulance during the night, or whatever…or when you get up in the morning and can't cope with getting dressed and showering..voila!…you are already dressed in the Tee shirt and leggings…or you can just jump into the leggings quickly. Slip into the Uggs. Put on the hoodie if you're trying to conceal the fact that you're not wearing a bra. (Never mind all this if you're a guy.) Now in a matter of seconds you are dressed for the day…can answer the door…can let the priest in for Last Rites, as I did. And if you really want to win the blue ribbon for personal care…but cannot get your act together to brush your teeth…just eat a breath mint.
Easy-peasy caregiver advice from one who's been there. For 14 years.
Elizabeth, I had to smile. I am sorry but I just had to. It is amazing that we can get so totally worn out that when you say just eat a breath mint sounds totally reasonable and not only that but the coping mechanisms we have come up with over the years makes sense to all of us on here.