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  1.  
    I am sitting by my husband's bedside for the third night
    Waiting and hoping for a peaceful passing. He has had a fever and not eaten or drank since Monday. His breathing
    Is labored. The nurses say he has signs it will be soon. Although he has been on hospice since February, it still seems surreal. I want him to be freed from this horrific disease without suffering anymore. But I cannot imagine I will never have him in my life again.

    How long can this go on??
  2.  
    Lorrie, I am with you. I too wanted to know how long. Then hospice called and told me his breathing had changed which means he went from chest breathing to abdominal breathing, when that happened they said he was in transition. That lasted about 5 hours until the breathing actually stopped. Hospice gave him medication which made him calm. I am praying for,you.
    • CommentAuthormyrtle*
    • CommentTimeMay 21st 2015
     
    Lorrie, I am sitting there with you.
    • CommentAuthorcassie*
    • CommentTimeMay 21st 2015
     
    Lorrie, I just sat down next to Myrtle.
    We have moved along a bit so there will be room for others from here to also sit with you.XX
    • CommentAuthorBev*
    • CommentTimeMay 21st 2015
     
    Lorrie, I'm sitting with you too.
  3.  
    Lorrie, I will sit with you too.
    • CommentAuthorbqd*
    • CommentTimeMay 22nd 2015
     
    And me, the room is starting to get a bit crowded, but only with love for you and your DH.
  4.  
    Lorrie, I am joining with everyone else and hoping for a peaceful transition.
    •  
      CommentAuthormary75*
    • CommentTimeMay 22nd 2015
     
    I'm here, too.
  5.  
    I brought in a folding chair for myself. I'm here, too.
  6.  
    I am with you Lorrie.
  7.  
    I'm with you also.
  8.  
    Thank you all for your support. It really helps to know someone REALlY understands.

    Waiting and watching are Soo painful. I don't want him to be alone when he dies.

    I am Soo weary. His heart and blood pressure are good.

    How long can he last without food and water?

    Anyone who has experienced this please?
  9.  
    Lorrie, my DH had a grande mal seizure on March 28 but severe decline didn't start until the evening of April 1. No food or water- he was in a coma from the 1st until he died after midnight on April 6. I don't know what his BP was but he seemed to be burning up when I touched him. I guess they are on their own schedule. I went home to get some sleep at 8 pm and then got the call 4 hours later.
    Hugs to you. Please get some sleep when you can.
  10.  
    My husband had some kind of episode on the 31st of Dec and after that had no food or water and passed away on the 6th of Jan. We think he choked and aspirated some pancakes the morning of the 31st. He was a strong individual but I know some hang on longer. I talked to him and told him it was okay to go, that I would be okay. I'm glad I stayed to be with him to the end.
  11.  
    Lorrie, Hospice suggested I give my husband permission to go. I did that and just told him I would be okay. Some people need permission to go. My husband ate food 2 days prior to his passing but was running a fever and they had to suction his lungs. Everyone has their own time appointed to go. You will get through this, and I do know what you are going through.
  12.  
    Lorrie, I'm sitting here with you also. My DH lasted 8 days without food or water. He had a few minutes of being alert after being bathed and changed a couple of days before he died and was trying to tell me something. I said "Are you trying to tell me you love me?" He nodded yes. I said "I love you, too, and you've taught me how to do so many things that I can make it OK so you can go on and be with your Mom & Dad and the rest of your family and I'll be there a little later." That was the last time he opened his eyes and was awake.
  13.  
    Lorrie, my Larry went six days without taking food or water. On the morning of the sixth day, his breathing changed, and he got very hot…just burning up. That was around 10:30 am. By 3 pm he was gone, very peacefully. ..just slept his life away with no pain or struggle. It is exhausting, I know…but you don't dare go too far away. I just refused to leave the house or to go into rooms where I couldn't hear him breathing. I had a stack of paperbacks and just stayed close. As it was, I almost missed it, because it was raining and I went around the house to check the windows…when I walked back into the bedroom I knew he was leaving us…respirations very, very shallow…not really taking in any air…erratic pulse…but but so easy and peaceful. I was able to get my arms around him in time.
    • CommentAuthorLFL
    • CommentTimeMay 23rd 2015
     
    Lorrie, I brought a chair for myself and have joined the others. We're all here for you.
    • CommentAuthorBruce *
    • CommentTimeMay 23rd 2015
     
    my prayers and thoughts go with you I am so sorry this is happening but only GOD knows the exact time of passing so we must be patient and just keep up your faith and know HE will do what is best for him.
  14.  
    Lorrie I'm with you also, having just gone through this in March. My husband lasted about five days after no liquids. I am praying for you and your husband and holding you both in my thoughts.
  15.  
    Lorrie I am so very sorry for the loss of your husband. We really do know how hard it is and are with you in spirit. I was not able to post earlier as you were awaiting his passing, it was just too hard for me. But now he is gone, he is out of suffering, and you should please feel really good about yourself for being such a loving wife. Everything that I can possibly send you in cyberspace that is love, I send to you.
    • CommentAuthordellmc53
    • CommentTimeMay 25th 2015
     
    Lorrie...so incredibly sorry.
  16.  
    Lorrie, my thoughts and prayers are with you.
  17.  
    Lorrie, so sorry for your loss.
    • CommentAuthormyrtle*
    • CommentTimeMay 25th 2015 edited
     
    Dear Lorrie, I remember when you placed your husband and what a difficult time you both had. It's hard to believe that less than a year later, he is gone. I am so sorry.
    •  
      CommentAuthormary75*
    • CommentTimeMay 25th 2015
     
    May you have a measure of peace knowing that you cared for him faithfully to the end.
  18.  
    Thank you all for your sympathy and understanding. My husband put up a fight. Eyes open for his last day and night.
    Hospice provided the comfort for both of us. A hospice nurse even came back at 2:30 am when I called. He talked to me and made sure my husband could pass peacefully. He died at 7:40 a.m. I am grateful that I was by his side.

    Now, it feels unreal. As I left his assisted living the sun was shining. The old song " why does the sun keep on shining....Don't they know it's the end of the world..it ended when I lost your love." Started playing in my mind.

    Now we are busy planning his wake and funeral service. It can't be for my Bob. It must be someone else.

    I wish we were all close by and we could really sit and comfort each other. But, I'll send you all a thankful hug.
    • CommentAuthorJazzy
    • CommentTimeMay 25th 2015
     
    Lorrie

    Please accept my deepest sympathy on your loss. We are all sitting right there with you in spirit, holding your hand.

    Take care of you now.

    Hugs Jazzy
    • CommentAuthorBev*
    • CommentTimeMay 25th 2015
     
    Lorrie, I am so, so sorry.
  19.  
    I'm so sorry.
    • CommentAuthorAliM
    • CommentTimeMay 25th 2015
     
    Lorrie, My sincere condolences to you on the loss of your Bob. Glad hospice was there for you. May peace soon come to you during this phase of grieving.
  20.  
    I'm so sorry, Lorrie. His fight is over ... your watch is done. Big hugs to you.
  21.  
    Lorrie
    I am so sorry.
    • CommentAuthorAdmin
    • CommentTimeMay 26th 2015
     
    Lorrie,

    My deepest sympathy to you.

    joang
    • CommentAuthorLFL
    • CommentTimeMay 26th 2015
     
    Lorrie, so very sorry this horrible disease has robbed you of your golden years with Bob. Deepest sympathy to you and your family.
    • CommentAuthorMoon*
    • CommentTimeMay 26th 2015
     
    Lorrie, my heart goes out to you. I know this has been such a difficult journey, especially the last
    months. My prayers and thoughts are with you during the days to come.
    • CommentAuthorWolf
    • CommentTimeMay 26th 2015
     
    I'm very sorry for the loss of your husband Bob. It was good that you were able to be with him.
  22.  
    I am so sorry, you are in my thoughts and prayers (((hugs)))
    • CommentAuthorMim
    • CommentTimeMay 26th 2015
     
    Please accept my sincerest condolences Lorrie.
  23.  
    Thank you.

    Today is the viewing and tomorrow is the funeral. I have lots of family and friends around me. My son, daughter, and brother have been staying at my house since Friday. So I am grateful.

    How di I feel? I'm not sure. ..in a fog, relieved it's over but now wanting my old Bob back. It's kind of strange but
    These past three years feel like they a bad dream. I am not crying continuously as I always imagined.

    My most heartbreaking thought is that no one will ever love me as he did. I kind of feel like an orphan of love.

    Just praying for strength to hold up today and tomorrow.
  24.  
    We are with you, too, Lorrie. Hang in there. And I'm sure that Bob is watching over you.
    • CommentAuthorMoon*
    • CommentTimeMay 27th 2015
     
    Lorrie,

    I'm glad you are surrounded by people who truly care about you.
    Let your family and friends help you through this very difficult time.

    I believe that although Bob's physical presence is gone, his love for you will never leave your heart.
    • CommentAuthoradagio
    • CommentTimeMay 27th 2015
     
    I am very sorry, Lorrie. Praying for strength for you.
  25.  
    Lorrie, am so sorry to hear this. I am glad you have family and friends near and wish you strength for the next couple of days.
    My DH passed away last week and I know how raw the emotion is.........it's very surreal, isn't it? On one hand, we are relieved
    that their suffering is over but the unknown future is a very daunting thought. I really related to your 'orphan of love' phrase.
    Stay strong and look after yourself.
  26.  
    The viewing today was beautiful. There was a line outside the room this evening. There were so many that loved him. It felt surreal. I only cried when I was in the room in private with him.

    He looks so peaceful and restored to the Bob I knew. That is a comfort.

    nbgirl..my husband was 67 and diagnosed three years ago also. I am grateful he didn't hang on for years in this state of suffering.

    Tomorrow is the church, burial and luncheon. I think this will be much harder.
  27.  
    Hang in there, Lorrie. I think actually the "rituals" are comforting and helpful. I think it is harder afterwards, when all the hubbub is finished, the people are all gone, and you're kind of sitting there alone saying, "OK, now I've arrived. But where am I." Believe it or not, I can remember Larry saying the same thing…his first wife of 28 years was killed in a car accident when she was 48 and he was 50. He mentioned more than once that he was totally lost after the funeral was over and "real life" started again.
  28.  
    My above post didn't really offer help…sorry. I should add that Lar just kept busy with his job, spent a lot of time with family, and gradually picked up the threads again. I would say just take it slow, one day at a time. Make yourself comfortable in your home…fix yourself easy, good food that you like…try to get some fresh air and exercise…watch or read relaxing, fluffy stuff--nothing deep, and certainly nothing poignant, nostalgic, or sad...I guess what I'm saying is treat yourself like an honored acquaintance who has been through a bad time…be kind and gentle to yourself. And when you need to cry, mope, or "lose it", just let it happen. The love you and Bob had will help get you through this.
    • CommentAuthorSherizeee
    • CommentTimeMay 29th 2015
     
    My deepest condolences Lorrie.
    • CommentAuthorlulliebird
    • CommentTimeMay 30th 2015
     
    Lorrie, My deepest sympathy ...may God grant you comfort