I am sitting by my husband's bedside for the third night Waiting and hoping for a peaceful passing. He has had a fever and not eaten or drank since Monday. His breathing Is labored. The nurses say he has signs it will be soon. Although he has been on hospice since February, it still seems surreal. I want him to be freed from this horrific disease without suffering anymore. But I cannot imagine I will never have him in my life again.
Lorrie, I am with you. I too wanted to know how long. Then hospice called and told me his breathing had changed which means he went from chest breathing to abdominal breathing, when that happened they said he was in transition. That lasted about 5 hours until the breathing actually stopped. Hospice gave him medication which made him calm. I am praying for,you.
Lorrie, my DH had a grande mal seizure on March 28 but severe decline didn't start until the evening of April 1. No food or water- he was in a coma from the 1st until he died after midnight on April 6. I don't know what his BP was but he seemed to be burning up when I touched him. I guess they are on their own schedule. I went home to get some sleep at 8 pm and then got the call 4 hours later. Hugs to you. Please get some sleep when you can.
My husband had some kind of episode on the 31st of Dec and after that had no food or water and passed away on the 6th of Jan. We think he choked and aspirated some pancakes the morning of the 31st. He was a strong individual but I know some hang on longer. I talked to him and told him it was okay to go, that I would be okay. I'm glad I stayed to be with him to the end.
Lorrie, Hospice suggested I give my husband permission to go. I did that and just told him I would be okay. Some people need permission to go. My husband ate food 2 days prior to his passing but was running a fever and they had to suction his lungs. Everyone has their own time appointed to go. You will get through this, and I do know what you are going through.
Lorrie, I'm sitting here with you also. My DH lasted 8 days without food or water. He had a few minutes of being alert after being bathed and changed a couple of days before he died and was trying to tell me something. I said "Are you trying to tell me you love me?" He nodded yes. I said "I love you, too, and you've taught me how to do so many things that I can make it OK so you can go on and be with your Mom & Dad and the rest of your family and I'll be there a little later." That was the last time he opened his eyes and was awake.
Lorrie, my Larry went six days without taking food or water. On the morning of the sixth day, his breathing changed, and he got very hot…just burning up. That was around 10:30 am. By 3 pm he was gone, very peacefully. ..just slept his life away with no pain or struggle. It is exhausting, I know…but you don't dare go too far away. I just refused to leave the house or to go into rooms where I couldn't hear him breathing. I had a stack of paperbacks and just stayed close. As it was, I almost missed it, because it was raining and I went around the house to check the windows…when I walked back into the bedroom I knew he was leaving us…respirations very, very shallow…not really taking in any air…erratic pulse…but but so easy and peaceful. I was able to get my arms around him in time.
my prayers and thoughts go with you I am so sorry this is happening but only GOD knows the exact time of passing so we must be patient and just keep up your faith and know HE will do what is best for him.
Lorrie I'm with you also, having just gone through this in March. My husband lasted about five days after no liquids. I am praying for you and your husband and holding you both in my thoughts.
Lorrie I am so very sorry for the loss of your husband. We really do know how hard it is and are with you in spirit. I was not able to post earlier as you were awaiting his passing, it was just too hard for me. But now he is gone, he is out of suffering, and you should please feel really good about yourself for being such a loving wife. Everything that I can possibly send you in cyberspace that is love, I send to you.
Dear Lorrie, I remember when you placed your husband and what a difficult time you both had. It's hard to believe that less than a year later, he is gone. I am so sorry.
Thank you all for your sympathy and understanding. My husband put up a fight. Eyes open for his last day and night. Hospice provided the comfort for both of us. A hospice nurse even came back at 2:30 am when I called. He talked to me and made sure my husband could pass peacefully. He died at 7:40 a.m. I am grateful that I was by his side.
Now, it feels unreal. As I left his assisted living the sun was shining. The old song " why does the sun keep on shining....Don't they know it's the end of the world..it ended when I lost your love." Started playing in my mind.
Now we are busy planning his wake and funeral service. It can't be for my Bob. It must be someone else.
I wish we were all close by and we could really sit and comfort each other. But, I'll send you all a thankful hug.
Lorrie, My sincere condolences to you on the loss of your Bob. Glad hospice was there for you. May peace soon come to you during this phase of grieving.
Lorrie, my heart goes out to you. I know this has been such a difficult journey, especially the last months. My prayers and thoughts are with you during the days to come.
Today is the viewing and tomorrow is the funeral. I have lots of family and friends around me. My son, daughter, and brother have been staying at my house since Friday. So I am grateful.
How di I feel? I'm not sure. ..in a fog, relieved it's over but now wanting my old Bob back. It's kind of strange but These past three years feel like they a bad dream. I am not crying continuously as I always imagined.
My most heartbreaking thought is that no one will ever love me as he did. I kind of feel like an orphan of love.
Just praying for strength to hold up today and tomorrow.
Lorrie, am so sorry to hear this. I am glad you have family and friends near and wish you strength for the next couple of days. My DH passed away last week and I know how raw the emotion is.........it's very surreal, isn't it? On one hand, we are relieved that their suffering is over but the unknown future is a very daunting thought. I really related to your 'orphan of love' phrase. Stay strong and look after yourself.
The viewing today was beautiful. There was a line outside the room this evening. There were so many that loved him. It felt surreal. I only cried when I was in the room in private with him.
He looks so peaceful and restored to the Bob I knew. That is a comfort.
nbgirl..my husband was 67 and diagnosed three years ago also. I am grateful he didn't hang on for years in this state of suffering.
Tomorrow is the church, burial and luncheon. I think this will be much harder.
Hang in there, Lorrie. I think actually the "rituals" are comforting and helpful. I think it is harder afterwards, when all the hubbub is finished, the people are all gone, and you're kind of sitting there alone saying, "OK, now I've arrived. But where am I." Believe it or not, I can remember Larry saying the same thing…his first wife of 28 years was killed in a car accident when she was 48 and he was 50. He mentioned more than once that he was totally lost after the funeral was over and "real life" started again.
My above post didn't really offer help…sorry. I should add that Lar just kept busy with his job, spent a lot of time with family, and gradually picked up the threads again. I would say just take it slow, one day at a time. Make yourself comfortable in your home…fix yourself easy, good food that you like…try to get some fresh air and exercise…watch or read relaxing, fluffy stuff--nothing deep, and certainly nothing poignant, nostalgic, or sad...I guess what I'm saying is treat yourself like an honored acquaintance who has been through a bad time…be kind and gentle to yourself. And when you need to cry, mope, or "lose it", just let it happen. The love you and Bob had will help get you through this.