My sweet husband passed tonight very peacefully. I can hardly believe it is over. It all happened so fast. He was moved from assisted living in mid February to LTC and then 5 weeks later to the hospice house for medication management and then to the hospital for 2 weeks for more medication management and then last Thursday started with a fever and lung suctioning and oxygen. He was discharged on Thursday to hospice care. He never really got out of bed after the discharge. They gave him hydrocodone every 2 hours and atropine for the secretions. I feel nothing but relief right now that his journey is over. There were many days that I wondered how much longer I could do this but I have wonderful family and this wonderful web site which has been a god send. He was diagnosed in 2008 and in August would have been 2 years since placement.
My sincere sympathy to you CO2. I am happy that his passing was peaceful. I can understand how you feel relief that he is at peace. You can rest well knowing you did everything in your power to take care of him.
CO2,that was a peaceful ending of a vile disease (but not your husband, he will be with you forever.) Sending you sympathy and wishes for love and comfort to surround you in the days ahead. cassie*
Wow CO2, I'm sorry. Your timeline was similar to ours. It's a terrible thing we go through. I hope that you stay strong during this and in time find ways to have some life again. It's a shock when it's suddenly us. My sincere condolences on the passing of your sweet husband.
CO2, My deepest sympathy to you on the loss of your husband. You did everything you could do to be a wonderful caregiver. It is good to hear that you are feeling relieved that his struggle is over.
CO2, I am so sorry for your loss but truly understand the relief that your caregiving and his suffering is finally over. My husband was also diagnosed in 2008.
CO2, I am so sorry for your loss. You worked so hard for so many years to give him the best possible quality of life. I am sure that he appreciated all you did for him. I pray that you have peace now. My thoughts are with you and your family.
I am so sorry for your loss, but glad to hear your husband's passing was peaceful. I know you did your absolute best in being his caregiver and advocate. Peace and comfort for the days ahead.
CO2 My sincerest sympathy to you on your loss. It is a hard hard road and when they are gone we do feel relief that the suffering for them is done. You have a lot on your plate in these next months so please take care of yourself. Based on my experience, and what I wish I had done, take some time and find a good massage therapist to help you relax now and get some much needed rest. Blessings
The funeral was Friday and today is Sunday. I still have a lot of stuff to do but I was happy to get through Friday. I found a couple good books by Doug Manning that i think will help. A couple things I notice is it is harder to concentrate and I am more forgetful than normal. I do believe I have already cried buckets of tears during all the moves over that last 3 months. All that was excruciatingly difficult for both of us and I am sure hastened the end. The doctor in the geriatric psych dept told me he wanted to keep him to "make him more comfortable" but as I reflect I really think he "knew" the end was near and kept him until he started running a fever and they had to suction his lungs. Only then did he discharge him. There is definitely a void since there is no more caregiving but I do think a good bit of my grieving has been accomplished with his placement 18 months ago. There were so many days that I wondered if it would ever end but it did. I am still amazed at actually how fast he did go. My neighbor has a DH in his 90s who has vascular dementia and is on hospice. He is declining very slowly and barely qualified for hospice again. She has hired a caregiver and it is costing her $4,000 a month to keep,him home. He, however, is not exhibiting the behaviors my husband had. Big difference. And also she can afford it, which I could not. It seems like with anything else, money talks. I had very few options open to me with Medicaid. If one is self pay, the world opens up as far as options go. My task now is to figure out who I am because I am not the same person I was. That I know for sure. Thanks to all for your kind words and support.
I too am so sorry for your loss. You have been such a trooper in this long journey. Please I think the forgetfulness is just part of all the stress, I had that for months and it seems to be letting up now. And I believe, though you are the same person, you will likely become an even better one feeling good about yourself for all your giving. Aloha and please take care, and know you are not alone.
Thank you Coco, You have been an inspiration to me. Today was a very difficult day--could not seem to accomplish anything except cry and nap. Hospice is coming Friday to talk. God bless.