I've been working all day long trying to get out of this crummy mood. My DIL and grandson stopped by today for brunch. They brought the sweet rolls and I made tea. Had a very nice visit. But my stomach is so filled with anxiety and unrest. (And, no, it's not the sweet rolls!) DH sat in his chair the entire time and never said a word. She and I both tried to engage him in conversation but he wasn't interested so we left him alone. I felt like I was not being respectful. Is that weird or what?
I truly feel like I've been abandoned. Just unhappy. I've done a chapter in my on-line book review. Talked to our Missouri son on the phone for 5-10 minutes. Read. Came into this site at least 3 times this afternoon.
At any rate, I don't think I'm cut out for this job and I think it's probably time for a change. I've heard it said you nevere quit a job until you have another one lined up. Looking for work when you are out of a job makes you seem desperate. And, OMG, we wouldn't want that, would we.
Well, I'm generally a pretty upbeat person and I'll probably be out of this slump by tomorrow. But until then, I guess I'd probably go and enjoy my own pity-party.
I hate this job too. I have been home w/hubby all summer and I am ready to scream. Luckily I have a teaching job to go back to. I can't wait. I will be paying home health aids which will be costly but I need to do this for me. When the money is gone then I will have to make another decision, but right now I choose to get out of the house and have a life. Hope you feel better tomorrow hon.
We all have miserable days - you are more than entitled to your pity party. When my friends and I feel as you do, we get together for a loooooong lunch, and unload our troubles on each other. After the tears, we usually end up laughing and enjoying ourselves for at least the time we are out of the house.
Come here to to tell us how you feel - we probably feel the same and will understand.
Mya: How are you going about finding home health aide? I'm at the stage where I need one for DH a couple of hours a day, but I need to not go broke, as I need to help support 3 kids. DH is only 54 so he doesn't qualify for Medicare. aaaaargh! Just wondering how you're going about this.
Kelly, I was wondering the same thing, have you applied for Social Security Disability for your husband? I would have never applied had it not been for my neighbor asking me. I didn't think my husband was entitled, since he had to retire. I was wrong, he is 57 years old.
For those of you out there where disability payments are a possibility, the key is that if you aren't looking for a job because you are too sick to work, you might be eligable for disability. The fact that someone "has to retire" generally means that they ought to look into disability if they are too young for social security.
I don't know what is and what isn't available in your area. But where I live they use the same phone number for the case workers who deal with disabled adults under 60 and seniors. I don't think it would hurt to ask. Frankly what is the worst that would happen? They might say no, but in that case you ask, "Who would you suggest I call for help?"
Is your husband on Medicare? Is there someone there who could tell you who to call? Have you called the local Alzheimer's Association chapter? They are the ones who gave me the phone number for my County agency on aging, but they also probably have pre-60 agency numbers too. Is there a local senior center? Is there a social worker there? From the sounds of it what you really need is a caseworker.
I'm a fine one to give you places to call because I haven't made those calls myself yet. But at this point we don't need services. And I have made just enough calls that I know who to call once I do need services.
When I read these messages I swing between such emotions - phew: I know all too well; phew: not there yet; phew: solved that one; phew: let this one pass, etc.
I also find working full time as a teacher has kept me sane enough to carry on for my DH. He is so aware of what is oging on, that the responsibilities have all shifted to my shoulder - and they wobble! I had sadi to him, weeks ago, that this wasn't just about him and he said that to me yesterday, "This isn't just about me, you know."
I sometimes get anxious when DH is not as he was with company, but I have to let go as much as I can and trust that others will understand. It is something I can't change and next time it will probably be different. I have to choose my situations to intervene in and try to let go of the rest.
My most recent irritation is overload that shows up in missing appointments - even with a calendar. I slept through an 8 a.m. dental appointment. I never sleep past 6 and I did today and then there was not having a check when we got our hair cut and having to reschedule the allergist appointment three times this summer. yeag.
Kelly, I am going through an agency. That way they are insured etc. It is expensive. I am also applying for aid and attendance from the veterans. Is your husband a veteran? He will also be eligible in October for a grant from local agency for the aging. We used it last year for day care. It is a limited amount and one can only apply once a year, but it helps. Check into your local agencies for funds that can help. Good luck!