He told me today that he is having trouble remembering his long term last. Thing he did with th boys and me years ago. Then he said " I am frightened". I asked him why and he said" about what is happening to me and what is coming". I told him the only thing I could at that moment. I said" I will hug you and hold you always".
Jazzy, I am so very sorry you are experiencing this pain. I myself am going through the same thing. My husband was put in the Geriatric Psychiatry wing of the hospital yesterday because Hospice House could not handle him. They told me they had never seen a patient like him. When I went to visit him, he was screaming and yelling in the bathroom and hallucinating and totally "out of it." I try not to remember the man he was because that usually adds to my pain. I honestly sort of doubt that meds will help him but I hope they can do something. the nursing home will not accept him back in this condition.
You are going through the worst right now. Bless you gal, this is a terrible thing to be happening to both of you.
My guy was very volatile until about three months ago, both with me and staff at his LTC. Now he just explodes to make sure he gets what he wants. This is now a very quiet fear. He seems to be moving into a different stage but I don't know where this will go. You just can't expect anything. You just wait for the next shoe to fall.
Jazzy, my husband said almost those same words to me about a year and a half ago. We were, for a change, quietly sitting together on the sofa when he said that he was scared and when I asked him why he was scared he said, "I'm scared of what is happening to me." I told him I was scared too but we would get through this together. We had gotten through other times in our lives, we would get through this. He asked why this was happening to him and could it be fixed. I just told him I didn't know. I hate this too.
That was one of the very, very few times he actually asked about his disease. He used to say there was nothing wrong with him, his memory was just as good as anyone's.
Jazzy, I think we and our spouses are all scared. I surely am and although Rich doesn't verbalize it, I can see it in his eyes. Somehow we just plug along.
So far, Dan has never showed any indication that he might be scared nor has he ever acknowledged that he thinks there is anything wrong. If the day ever comes that he says anything like that, I hope I can answer honestly & most of all lovingly.
My husband said the very same thing just 2 1/2 weeks before he died. He said "I feel like I am dying and it scares me". I knew he wasn't but sure enough...he did!