A new member posted in the "April 2015" thread, and I would like us all to welcome her. This is the part where she told a little about herself:

"..........I do pretty much everything else. Jerry is 74 and has been diagnosed with AD for over 2 years. He is mostly off in his own world and I have stopped working to care for him. I am 57. I try to stay in the moment because pining for the past or trying to anticipate the future just makes me depressed. Sorry, I am so down today. I just needed to say something. I'm grateful for this spot where I believe people understand what I am going through. I've been crying all day and can't seem to find the sun."

Carolj,

Welcome to my website. I started this website in 2007, because I couldn't find anyone who would talk about how I felt - I thought I was the only one feeling the way I did about what Alzheimer's Disease was doing to my marriage. I needed a place that dealt with my unique issues as a spouse of an Alzheimer patient. This site is now a place of comfort for spouses/partners who are trying to cope with the Alzheimer's/dementia of their husband/wife/partner. The issues we face in dealing with a spouse/partner with this disease are so different from the issues faced by children and grandchildren caregivers. We discuss all of those issues here - loss of intimacy; social contact; conversation; anger; resentment; stress; and pain of living with the stranger that Alzheimer's Disease has put in place of our beloved spouse/partner.

The message boards are only part of this website. Please be sure to log onto the home page - www.thealzheimerspouse.com - and read all of the resources on the left side. I recommend starting with "Newly Diagnosed/New Member" and "Understanding the Dementia Experience".

Do not miss the "previous blog" section. It is there you will find a huge array of topics with which you can relate. There is a "search" feature on the home page that allows you to look up different topics that may have been explored in a previous blog. Log onto the home page daily for new blogs; news updates; important information.

I cannot promise that you will "find the sun" here as you mentioned in your post, but I can promise that you will find support and understanding like nowhere else. When you feel comfortable in doing so, please tell us a little more about yourself and your husband.

joang

Yes, sometimes you can be doing pretty well, and then a bad day just seems to come out of nowhere. I think you just have to kind of relax and let the misery envelope you--go with the flow. Once the "badness" passes by, you can hold your head above water for awhile--even if all you're doing is treading water. (Is this making any sense at all?) When bright spots do occur, here and there, try to enjoy them. For most of us, the bright spots are sometimes very fleeting, and might seem silly to "normal", non-Alzheimers spouses. But embrace them when you can. (For me, the best part of my caregiving day was often that first cup of hot coffee on the screened porch, with the birds singing and the squirrels hopping around the back yard--before I had to start morning care, breakfast help, Poop Patrol, falls prevention, (or try), and the whole daily caregiving routine.)

Carolj,

Welcome to this home where you will find lots of love and support. My husband was 79 and I was 57 when he passed. We had 14 years fighting dementia, and some of the times were very sweet indeed, especially towards the end. I remember the last days when I still cared for him at home, when I cried more often than not. Please hang in there and know that we all understand and wish you the very best.

Welcome, Carolj, I hope you will continue to visit us and keep us posted on how things are going for you. The people on this site of Joan's are so helpful, supportive and caring...no judgement here.