We still have two vehicles. My car, his truck. We have decided to keep both for now. He hasn't driven for a year but if his truck is not in the garage he asks me about it. He has no access to keys.
One day a few months ago he said "You took my guns, I can't drive and I don't have anything left". That is when the children and I decided to keep both of them when we could do well with one. It would save Insurance, taxes but it gives him a peace to see his truck there and his tractor in the barn. lmohr
After too long, husband relinquished his license. We live on a farm and he still drives down to the barn etc. At first, I thought we'd have to 'hide' the truck or etc. I even bought a golf cart so that he would be able to get around when he could no longer drive. Since he can drive on our property, we aren't 'there' yet. It will be an alternative when necessary.
AS it turns out, I'm the designated driver when we go to the other pastures to check on the cattle. As much as I hate driving the thing, the truck has saved my car from bumping over rough and brushy places. Right now, I'm trying to figure out how to go about hiring someone to drive him as things are so tense. He doesn't like the way I shift the gears, and on and on. Our grandson will hopefully get his license soon and this could be our answer, IF grandson can tolerate the criticism and has the patience for it.
We have tractors in plain sight . Seems like he has parked them so that he can make sure they are able to be seen from front and back windows. Lawn Mowers as well. He wants to know they are 'there'.. None of this equipment is in the barn..its all near the house now.. yikes. Since he suspects our sons of taking things, I guess he feels better if all his 'stuff' is closer.
We have agriculture related insurance on our vehicles.. I just lowered our premium by declaring my vehicle used for the farm as well.. which it is when not in the brambles..
We also have two cars - mine - I drive to work and back; his car is a convertible that we got him in 2004, and he loves that car. He has gotten so much pleasure putting that top down, putting on a baseball cap - even when going 3 blocks to the grocery store! The day the neurologist told him he couldn't drive any more, I told him that when I needed to take him somewhere, that we would go in his car so he could still enjoy it. It's been over a year since he had to stop driving, and I still take him in the convertible with the top down. The sacrifices we make for our loved ones! <grin>
We actually got rid of my car. i just couldn't have two cars in the garage, I was afraid of the temptation. MY DH is very easy going, but not about driving, and he still asks me if I want him to drive. he "helps" me when I'm driving, so I can get more 'experience'. If you haven't been 'helped' while driving you've missed the experience of a lifetime. (LOL) However, currently it is working, so I'll keep up this charade for as long as possible.
We also have two cars and pay insurance for both of us to drive them. I have never drive his PU. It's a little GMC Jimmy. A tiny little thing but he thinks it's just too much car for me to safely drive. (He's been saying that since he got his first PU in 1967. Go figure!)
I have a lovely little red Pontiac, 2004, with less than 12,000 miles on it. I have not turned a wheel on it since February. (Macular Degeneration, you know). When we bought that car 4 years ago, I said that inasmuch as he never let me drive his PU, I didn't want him to drive my car. That was fine with him and the car is in my name.
He hasn't wanted me to sell it until just the last couple of weeks. Which I will do shortly.
The thing is, he sould not be driving AT ALL. Both his neurologist and GP have said he should not be on the road. He only drives to church (3 miles) and the bank and grocery storr. That's about it. But try and get him to give it up is going to be really hard. One of those doctors has written to the DMV so he will be called in for retesting. I hope it's soon. He'll never pass the test. At that time I'll just sell the PU. I have POA and I'd rather have a big fight than have him break the law by driving with no license. I'll also cancel the insurance.
This is not a fun part of this job and I don't recall signing up for this when I said those vows in 1950.
In some ways we have two drivers. When I am at an intersection, DH says, "Clear on the right!" I'm not even sure he looks anymore, but if I believed him we wouldn't even have one car now!
frand, that's funny... My husband is a pretty good backseat driver, when it comes to warning me about problems -- stop signs looming ahead, a bicycle or pedestrian about to get in my way, some driver about to change lanes without warning, you name it. He's always right. BUT ... when he tells me it's SAFE to do something, I'd better not believe him without checking for myself. In particular, due to the visual agnosia, he thinks I have plenty of room to change lanes when there's a car or truck nearly attached to my bumper.
OMG! Mine went right through a stop sign the other day--didn't even slow down. Then he got his left and right mixed up. And last but not least, he pulled out right in front of a big van. The van driver layed on his horn and DH was completely oblivious. It was right after that that the neuro and GP said 'no more driving.' Someone has written to the DMV. I'm holding my breath until then.
Mawzy, I don't mean to sound presumptious, but why are you in the car with him....why are you allowing him to drive...he is an accident waiting to happen....he is going to kill both of you and probably others as well. You are not doing him or yourself any favors. You could lose everything you own by allowing him to drive.....I am so sorry you are dealing with this, but please think long and hard about the innocent people who could be maimed or killed. The DMV could take months to deal with this.....I think you are playing with dynamite.
I think you're probably right. I have macular degeneration and don't drive any more at all. I don't dare for him to go out by himself because he'd get lost for sure. So, as bad as my vision is, I tell him to slow down, turn here, stop! etc. I know it's dangerous but I'm not sure exactly how to get him off the road. He is willing to accept rides from people and I've called a lot of them asking to be picked up and delivered here, etc. But, can't keep that up forever. I need to sell both vehicles in order to afford cabs. I've even thought of hiring a high school kid to drive me to the store, etc. after school but that doesn't take care of dr. appts and the like.
I know what you're saying and I really do appreciate the concern and I'm honestly trying to keep it to a minimum. I feel foolish for even telling the story.
I also have COPD and my pulmonologist told me the stress was the worst thing in the world for asthma and emphysema. He told me his father was the same way and he, as a physician, had a heck of a time getting his dad off the road. He said it was really hard but other than his sympathy, he had no suggestions.
Is it possible for you to move to a Senior Apartment where they have van service? Your situation is going to be even worse as time goes by. You almost have to have transportation to get you here and there. Maybe you can call the Senior Citizen center in your area for suggestions. I know in our area they send a van around picking up Seniors and taking them to the Senior Center for lunch and they also take them to Dr. apts and the store. You should check on things for the future..which is now here.
Right now I advise disabling the vehicles by having someone pull a wire or something and/or losing the keys, NOW. Best of luck. lmohr
Mawzy, I'm trying to remember where you live. If it is a big enough place they have Dial-A-Ride or something like that. If you sold the cars and figured what you save on insurance you could use public assistance and enjoy yourself. We signed up for that a few years ago and a ride to appointments, etc. was only $1 for DH and I was free because he needed me to assist. Of course, gas wasn't $4/gallon a few years ago, but even so it should be a great bargain.
In the Lehigh Valley those buses are called LANTA. Call your aging authority. In general they are one of the doorways to those buses. Call your doctor's office, sometimes that is how you get to them.
We see them everywhere around here. They take people to grocery shop, to doctor's appointments and therapy appointments, and just plan wherever they need to go. It is door to door. No bus stops. It does require 24 hours notice.
In this area there aren't a whole lot of cabs, but I've begun to see them now too. I think the original cab company went under and that two new ones took their place. You probably could also make arrangements with a cab company to do regular trips.
There are options. If you think about your transportation money as being something other than car money, you will see the other options better. Add up insurance, mantanence and gas money to get a clearer picture. Add in what you will get when you sell the cars. It is more than you think it is.
Gosh, we still have 3 vehicles and one driver. He gave up driving without a struggle because he didn't feel "sure of himself" anymore. Am I lucky or what? Giving up his work truck and his nicer truck is another matter. He's just not ready. Hasn't tried to drive them, just wants them there. Maybe they're his security blanket.
Yikes, we have 6 cars and trucks. and 2 4-wheelers and 2 boats and DHs mountain motorcycle.
We have the new car, the older car that I use for work, the plow truck, his truck and the truck under the camper. Oh, and we have a 1956 Chevy car. Some day, I will need to address this also.
The '56 is on a special policy only $12 a month. His truck has full coverage and we use it for camping mostly. It's newer. the camper truck is on insurance "vacation" as we only use it in the colder spring and fall months. Everything else is paid for so only libality. It can get complicated sometimes.