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      CommentAuthormary75*
    • CommentTimeOct 22nd 2019
     
    Charlotte, where are you? Are you all right? Miss your postings!
    • CommentAuthorCharlotte
    • CommentTimeOct 22nd 2019
     
    I am still here, just kind of down - not sure why. I haven't been sleeping good. Finally did a couple nights then last night I couldn't again - back and knee were hurting. Didn't help the winds were blowing 20+ all night. I got the first of 3 shots in my knee Friday and it felt great all weekend. It was sodium hydralorate instead of steriod. Then last night it along with my back were hurting. Seems every time I do laundry my back ends up hurting that night. Not sure why since I only stay there the 1/2 the washer is washing, then I come back to wait until the dryers are done.

    Last week he refused the flu shot so they asked me to be there when the guy came in case he resisted - which he didn't. I guess he was in a bad mood before I got there. I got him to come in to drink his root beer I brought him and his snicker. When I left about an hour later I had him outside with the broom sweeping! He was happy. Occasionally he would stop, walk up to the door and joke with the 'guy at the door'! the door has a glass so he sees his reflection!
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      CommentAuthormary75*
    • CommentTimeOct 22nd 2019 edited
     
    Pain will do that. Is your laundry load too heavy? Could you divide it into two smaller loads? Have you tried Votlaran (Diclofinac) oinment? It's over the counter. If you do, be sure to keep your hands away from your eyes afterwards.
    I had a poor night last night, too, because of pain. Went out tto the dentist his morning amazed at how many rude drivers there were on the road. Then I got exasperated with a man at the Community Centre because he wouldn't agree with me in a discussion we were having about religion. As I left the parking lot, another man honked at me, and I shook my fist at him.
    Decided It was me who was all out-of-kilter and that I'd better get home pronto. Which I did, and here I will remain until tomorrow. Hope to have a better sleep tonight. You, too.
    • CommentAuthorCharlotte
    • CommentTimeOct 22nd 2019
     
    I use lidocaine patches but last night I didn't want to bother since they have to be taped. I don't know why they shoe they stick but in reality they don't! I think it is just sitting in the chair there which is just a chair you sit in at tables. My back gets use to one type of chair and when I sit in something different it revolts!! I do Votlaran left from when Art was given it for when he had water on the knee but it can be absorbed which I don't like so stick with Ibuprofen and/or the patches.

    I think the last guy that was trying to get info from me when playing Words with Friends is the same guy as before - just a different picture. That guy no sooner 'resigned' when another one showed up. I just have not answered this guy. If he is not happy just playing the game, he can resign too. I am not ready to 'flirt' or be trolled online - don't know if I ever will.

    Today got up to 73 with the wind still blowing and I have the door open letting fresh air in. I ran the MH for a while - finally got under 3/4 of a tank!! Our weather is suppose to turn colder in a few days. I think part of it too is a friend is up from Yuma. The first month we spent a lot of time together, but the last week she has been spending a lot of time with her daughter before they head south again next month. I think I was enjoying not being alone but now have to adjust to it again. I just need to adjust and decide where to go from here in this new 'single but not single' life.
    • CommentAuthormyrtle*
    • CommentTimeOct 24th 2019
     
    Mary75* and Charlotte, I hope by now you have both been able to sleep. Mary, sometimes I get like that - really grouchy. Charlotte, Your successful redirection of Art by giving him the broom shows how sometimes it's the spouse, and not professionals, who know best how to deal with dementia patients.
    • CommentAuthorJan K
    • CommentTimeOct 25th 2019
     
    Charlotte, have you tried ThermaCare heat wraps? I'm a big fan of using them for back pain, or for other odds and ends of pain. Usually I use heating pads, but when I have to be up and around, one of the heat wraps helps a lot. Also, DH has a wrist that was once broken in five places, and sometimes when the weather is changing, he will wrap one around that wrist.
    • CommentAuthorCharlotte
    • CommentTimeOct 25th 2019
     
    I use lidocaine patches - I just wish they stuck better so like many use tape to keep them on. I also have the licdocaine roll-on to use usually on my lower back - easier than trying to put a patch on.

    I had a couple nights of better sleep but now back to restless. I find leaving the TV on the 'easy listening' station helps.

    He has gained 3 pounds since going on the risperdal which is a side effect of it.
    • CommentAuthorCharlotte
    • CommentTimeOct 26th 2019
     
    I am crawling somewhere else, just not sure where and it is going slowly!

    I have to face it - I am finding the 2nd year of placement I am more lonely than the first. Kind of enjoyed the first year but not anymore. And/OR even though I am ready for this to be over I think this mood swing might be related to signing the hospice paperwork. Even though he is doing better I think it still effected my subconscious which is causing tears to come at anytime
  1.  
    Yes, it is a miserable situation, Charlotte. The good old "not a widow, not a wife" Alzheimer thing. The constant uncertainty--when will they die? I wish they would die. No, I don't. But I want to be free from all this. But to be free means they will have died. But I want them to die, it will be so much easier and I can get my life back. But no...wait...I don't want them to die...but I know they are going to...but how long will it be? And so on and so on. And it is so isolating--it just seems like nobody else in the universe is going through this or can possibly understand--being alone and lonely all the time in the Alzheimers situation is so bad for you. So many of us have been through it--and there's no question it affects your physical and mental health and is very bad for you. All I can say is: It doesn't last forever, even though it seems like it does. Sending you the knotted rope to hold onto:

    x---x---x---x---x---x---x---x---x---x---x---x---x---x---x---x---x---x---
    • CommentAuthorCharlotte
    • CommentTimeOct 27th 2019
     
    Well said Elizabeth. The limbo is hard especially when you want to do 'the long crawl elsewhere'.
    • CommentAuthorWolf
    • CommentTimeOct 27th 2019
     
    It does feel like that in some ways. The longest walk you never imagined. The journey through the shadow of death I called it and that was how it felt for the longest time. The long crawl elsewhere is definitely a big part of how all that was, and still is in some ways.

    As Elizabeth said, it's a miserable situation - and it really is that in every sense. It's not you being strange in the normal world; it's the normal world being strange in yours. What are we supposed to do in an impossible situation except survive it?