My husband, who was still walking with assistance last week, and communicative, though demented, is dying. He fell four times this week, had a UTI which was treated with Cipro and passed a kidney stone along with a large quantity of blood. He can no longer eat and can barely swallow, he opens his eyes but cannot focus, he cannot speak, he cannot move himself in bed and he hasn't voided for over 24 hours, although he was incontinent of a slurry of rust colored stool twice. I spent all day holding his hand and talking to him. I like to think he can hear me and tell him I love him, how wonderful he is, how I will miss him but be OK, and how he can let go. I just can't stop crying. I feel so helpless and so bereft. Hospice is coming tomorrow. Please pray that he goes quickly and easily.I don't think he is having any pain or discomfort. But I just don't know what to do.
You are doing everything you can do. You are there...you are loving him through this...you are holding his hand...you are talking to him...you are giving him permission to go. I will pray for you both. A peaceful passing for him and strength for you. I pray that you will feel God's presence and peace surrounding you both.
I add my prayers for peace and strength as you help your husband though this last part of the journey. Try to pace yourself so that you don't become exhausted.
I second everything the others said. You are doing exactly what you should be doing - being a strong and comforting presence for him. We are all thinking of you.
Yes, Jenny, you are doing everything you can do for him and everything you should do for him. Just stay close. Love and prayers to you both for peace and comfort during this hard time.
I am so sorry for your pain. You are there comforting him, and at this point that is all you can do. Keep telling him you love him - I really do believe he can hear you. Somehow you will find the necessary strength to get through this dreadful stage. I will keep you both in my prayers.
Praying for you and your husband,all you can do is to keep comforting him,I know he can hear you.We all dread when it comes to this time.Faith will get us thru.
Jenny you are doing all you can for now. I firmly believe he can hear you so keep talking to him and holding his hands. I did the same with my DH beloved and I know for a fact he heard me as I told him its ok now to go. he clung on days til he was sure I was ready. hospice will ensure his comfort and ease on passing. I am so very grateful for all they did for us too. try to find some peace knowing the disease will soon release him. hugs, divvi
I just saw this and hope you are holding up okay. Hold his hand, wash his face, play some favorite music for him, let the tears roll down your face. Be strong, you can do it for him and for you.
I'm a long way away from this with Mr. Hostile, but I can share my experience with my Mom and the Dementia Demons. She had been put on Hospice because she could no longer swallow. She was on week two of no food or water and basically in a comatose state. I took a crack of dawn flight to her NH and had four hours with her before I had to fly back to do night chores. When I walked in her room and she heard my voice, she opened her eyes and held my hands so tightly that it hurt. I couldn't believe she had that much strength. My siblings freaked out because she had been non responsive for weeks. They said ten minutes after I left her eyes closed and she never regained consciousness again and died four days later. I wish I could have understood what she was trying to say to me. I was doing the face stroking they do with AD patients and she seemed to find comfort in that. Even in the last days they must know that someone they love is trying to comfort them.
I know what you are going through. My husband passed on Valentine's Day after a few days of not eating, drinking and just sleeping. It is very difficult. Please take comfort in what you are doing. We brought Pat home on hospice on Friday the 13th and he passed the next evening. This past week and the weeks ahead was and will be more difficult. Especially for my 11 and 12 year olds. It is a cruel disease. I am praying for you both. xo
Thank you all for your love, kindness and understanding. My husband, Norman, died yesterday, very peacefully and very quickly after being on the hospice service for less than a week. They are fantastic. Half of my heart is shattered but the other half is so grateful he is released from this burden and is free. I wish you all love. Jenny
I'm sorry for the loss of your husband Jenny but I also understand what you mean that he is released from further suffering this disease. As I hope you will also be in time.
I am very sorry for your great loss. I know it is with mixed emotions we face the end of the difficult journey we traveled with our loved ones. I wish you peace in the coming days.
So sorry for the loss of your husband! I understand what you mean about him now being free from the torment of the disease. Take some time to take some good care of YOU now!