that is so special. My DH told me last month some time, on a day when he was feeling especially tired and worn down..."are you really taking care of everything?"..followed by "you're not lying to me are you." I will forget the second part and remember how special the first part was.
So terribly sweet, Mawzy. The little things that really make our day.
Mary, I wouldn't look at the second part as anything negative ... he just wanted reassurance that you really, really are taking care of everything. Lots of us use that phrase without thinking there's any lying involved, it just kind of emphasizes that we want to hear "whatever". I think the whole thing was very special.
Andrea would be out with me somewhere and suddenly get all upset because she didn't have any money. I'd reassure her that I had plenty of money for us both, and she could get whatever she wanted. She'd look so grateful, and say thank you, and take my hand and kiss it. Can you imagine actually being so worried all the time about stuff? I mean, they live out nightmare situations everyday. What if you were caught in a strange place and realized you didn't have any money? Once would be bad, but every day?
My husband once said - "This must be hard for you." and one time he asked me "Do you still like me?" He would tell me he loved me all the time - up until about 2 months ago. He still gives me little kisses, if I put my cheek next to his mouth.
Not too long ago my DH said with teary eyes and a very humble tone, 'you are such a good person to me'.. i am now thinking they know alot more than we give them credit for at times -those 'gone in a flash' 'here today, gone tomorrow' bolts of reflection can come out of the blue at unexpected moments. it gives us a brief window of the past ,but certainly leaves you with the phrase the mind is indeed a wonderous thing. divvi
No trisigner, I just can't imagine what that must be like for them :( I hope I never know. It is hard enough being the caregiver!
Lynn use to ask me daily if I loved him just a lil bit. He had to be so insecure, so sad. Since he has been on the seroquel it has helped with that as well. We have been having such a good time together!!! I thank God daily for giving me back this part of Lynn.
How I would love some of that contact. I am still the bad person..our once great relationship no longer exists in any form. I have yet to cry directly over it, but lately I get a touch teary in weepy movies. I'm just so tired of being a unloved soul. Sorry, this has been a very stressful few days....maybe a good tear jerker film would help. (:-)
Aww ((kathi)) I am so sorry to hear that. My heart aches for you, I often thought death would be easier to handle than feeling so unloved... To have the person who once loved you, now look upon you with hate. There is hope though. For the past 3 years I cried all the time, I heard I hate you more times than I could count. I too was the bad person, I was the trigger for his moods and aggression. Lynn also had severe sundowning. The seroquel has been a miracle for us. He has only been on it about a month, but it has been a month from Heaven! I am told daily now how much I am loved, getting hugs instead hateful glares.Perhaps you could talk with his doctors to see if medications could help your DH as well?
kathi37.. (there's always Christian the Lion for tears) ..
One of my first posts here was how cold and unloved I felt. That was maybe six months ago. It has passed. My husband's back in mood to where he was years ago, almost all of the time (the rage demon shows up sometimes but briefly) Of course, he's most of the time totally confused as to day or time or rationale for doing something. But he's pleasant about it!
Thanks gals for your comfort...I think I'm over that for now. Of course, he either chooses to forget what he said or truly doesn't recall...who knows? And yes, watching Christian can do the job! I think my stress level is just up there as our daughter is in Beijing and not due home until Sunday. She was thrilled to be able to go visit the Great Wall..they had to vacate their work place (she's setting up a Niketown for the games) so the building could be swept for bombs due to threats!!!!! That will elevate any parent's blood pressure. We'll all mellow out next week, I hope. Our SIL is dealing with that and their 3 boys fairly well, but I can feel his anxiety as well. Our era didn't have this type of situation to deal with.