I have decided what want to do with my future activities. First, I have left my support group and plan to mall walk, visit DH and just try to laugh and be happy again. I realize that DH will deteriorate to that place where only he will go but for now I need to get out and find me again. The group has so many very advanced and very aggressive partners that they are caring for at home. I found that I was coming home and spending my time reliving the time that DH was home and that was my life. I decided that I can 't keep reliving that time. With DH in care I found I had nothing to offer them. My well being has become front and center for me. My favourite councillor is leaving in early March and I will not have him to talk to. So I decided to go out on my own. My family, from what one of them has told me, are fed up listening to my sad story of lonesomeness and fear, so I guess I will be totally on my own and that's OK, best to know where they stand then to keep waiting for calls and visits. I have never told them any sad stories, but I guess they are making sure they don't have to hear them. The funny thing is I feel really good about my decision and action plan. Kevan is very well cared for so I can just keep a close eye on things until I need to get more involved as this disease takes him into his own world. I will be taking a larger roll in the Family Council at his residence and taking him out for coffee as taking him home or shopping is not so good for him anymore. I realize that having a support group is well advised but made it becomes to much for some, meaning me. I fully intend to pop in here every now and then and will read up you and I will keep each if you in my prayers. Thank you so much for all your love and care, you will never know how much you have helped me.
Hi Jazzy, I could hardly believe that a family member told you that your family is "fed up" listening to your sad story of lonesomeness and fear. What is wrong with these people? I can see why the support group may be dragging you down as well. And also, getting involved in the Family Council sounds very good.
But your last two sentences sound like you're saying goodbye to us. I hope I've misunderstood them.
I, too, hope you are not saying goodbye to us. Your plan sounds so healthy and life-affirming. My family also stays away because they know I'm sad and this is a miserable life for me. Worst for them, I think, is that they don't know how long it will go on. Welcome to my world!
I also stopped going to a support group that was made mostly of family members taking care of their loved ones at home. The issues are too different, and I also felt I had nothing to offer them. And yes, it was terribly upsetting to go back to those horrible memories of taking care of my husband at home.
I hope we still see you here. Your spirit and honesty are always a vital part of this forum.
Jazzy I think you are going in the right direction. You've done all you can. There comes a point where we have to accept that the disease has claimed our loved ones and that there is no turning back. Hearing other peoples' heartache is like picking at a scab and not letting your own wounds heal.