Thank You Fiona. I do have a RX for Xanax for him as he was prone to anxiety/panic attacks. I know that the social worker said that all Info and RX list would be faxed prior to his entrance. As a precaution I will double check and make sure. Thanks for the heads up... I am really not looking forward to this but I realize it needs to be done. My health is at risk now and I am just flat exhausted. His family is "upset" with me for making this decision and yet they have never once lifted a finger to help.. Pretty frustrating and I want to call people bad names right now.. My tongue is sore from biting it... :)
So what. Let them be upset. They don't get to vote. Who is taking care of him--them or you? In placing him, you are taking care of him, but just in a different way. And this way, you save your own life, too. It isn't going to help him any if you collapse from the strain and from your own health problems. Just maintain a sort of superficial courtesy to his family, and pleasantly but firmly keep doing what you're doing.
CrankyPants, Your only mistake was telling his family what you intended to do. If that's the kind of help they gave him and you throughout his illness, it would have been better just to do it and then (if you wanted to) apologize afterward for not telling them in advance. Do what you have to do. You shouldn't have to explain to them why you're placing him.
Just updating you all on progress here. I have visited numerous residential care homes the last 4 days. One stands out and is fairly close to home. The Owner will be visiting Bob here in our home for lunch tomorrow. She would like to see his "personality" here and see if he will be a good fit with her other 3 residents that she already has. Things are moving along. :) I feel good about this one so I hope he behaves himself if he gets in..
Bob entered a Residential Care Home Yesterday....I am weepy.. beside myself.. and second guessing the decision.. I am unbelievably sad... I hate this disease. Why. just why?....
CrankyPants, This is excruciating. But keep in mind that many of us have gone through this and survived (although I don't know how).
Try to find something that you can do now that you could not do before. For me, that was sleep. After my husband was placed I slept for months as though I was a sleepaholic. Although I was weepy, beside myself, etc., I was getting the benefit of something I needed to survive but had been deprived of for years. And although it did not make me happy, it helped put me on an even keel.
CrankyPants, indeed many of us have been through this. We are here for you. Today they are moving my husband to intermediate care from where he has been for 16 months in assisted living. The symptoms you describe are almost exactly the same as my husband. It is a difficult decision to place them but I had to ask myself what is the alternative? After 16 months of placement it is easier--not great but easier. I can at least sleep and relax knowing that he is safe where he is. The only thing that helps me is prayer and the knowledge to just take each day as it comes and not focus on the big picture. Also since placement I have been able to face a lot of the grief feelings which I was not able to do when he was home because I was too busy. Be well. You are among friends here.