When we were just past the diagnosis stage (probably 4 or so), we had a routine checkup at the neurologist's. Now at this point, of course, is the foggy awareness of a problem, which creates in them a hostility toward anyone who makes it evident. The neurologist asked Andrea the routine questions that they go through to discover memory loss. He asked Andrea what day it was. She glared at him, and said, "Well if you don't know, I'M certainly not going to tell you."
Another time he asked her how many children she had. She gave the glare we all know so well, thought about it, and said, "You've got my chart, you look it up in there."
I had my DH saying "I was the problem for over 3 years". And, I just recently found out he had told that to our family dr. as well as a number of friends. Of course, these were the friends who would always say..."I don't see any thing wrong with him". This kinda makes me mad...but, guess it is just another thing I will have to over look.
I never was any good at remembering names Why should I bother remembering that when I have my own secretary Who cares Why do you want to know that
I sort of let everything slide now days. I can't seem to get my arms around the fact that I'm not the ONLY one. Hearing you folks tell this stuff really does relax me and I'm able to figure out that some of this 'stuff' is pretty ordinary.
Isn't it wonderful that we can go to this place (several times a day) to vent, ask questions, get answers, and all this wonderful support. I can actually feel the hugs.
A friend of mine told this story. Her 90 year old mother was telling a story about something that had happened to a relative in the past. A frustrated daughter said "Mom, how come you can remember that when you can't remember what you had for lunch yesterday" The Mother said " Because it wasn't important".
Something to that when you stop and think about it. I have trouble memembering dates, birthdays, ages, etc. Because it isn't important to me. mohrl
I think I'm in for trouble. I've never been one for remembering numbers I can carry in a book. Now with all the pin#'s, atm, sign ins and the three codes just to get in and out of my husband's facility I'm on sensory overload. Funny thing is I never remembered my SS# because I never needed it. I learned Bill's PDQ when I needed it daily to take care of legal issues.
bluledaze, what you should do is to put down the codes your need in your cell phone (I'm assuming you have one) the name of the facility he is in; and in the place for a cell phone number, enter the codes you need. That way you will always have it with you. :)
I knew my husband's SSN (he was in the Army) from the start - we had to have it for EVERYTHING we did. I didn't learn mine until about 15 years ago! :)
my favorite was always, "you're so smart, and such a know it all, you tell me!" :) "those were the days my friends, i thought they'd never end....llalallalalalala..remember that song:))))))) divvi
Remember that song well--Frank Sinatra, wasn't it?
One of DH's lines "You think I'm so stupid."
I swear!! I've NEVER EVER said that to him. And I know I've never implied it or anything like it. I just flipped out and DEMANDED to know when I ever did that and why was he saying things like that.
He said "I do everything wrong and never do anything right."
So, I'm still mad at him and told him that was a far cry from saying he was stupid and I told him I didn't want him to ever do it again.
Don't know if it did any good but so far he hasn't done that again. Boy, was I angry with DH.
Trisinger I do love your stories. Andrea sounds like a firecracker! Got to love that :) Lynn just had another test this past week when the medicaid nurse came to evaluate him. She asked him to draw a clock, he can't, but he wasn't going to admit it to her! She was very sweet and said she just wanted to see how wonderful his clock drawing would be, a charmer she was! He couldn't do it, he sat there starring at the paper for a few minutes and then he just got up, went to the wall and took down my clock and handed it to her. It just cracked me up!!
When my husb "see's people", I'll ask him "what do they want"...and he says "you know!!" (Like I do!! YIKES!!) Our 'care-giver' who relieves me told me "I'm glad it wasn't dark when he told me this...i would have really been freaked out!"...
my dh never makes excuses he just says, ''i don't know". "what do you want"? or "i don't care". it is so sad. he has know for some time even before dx that something was wrong. he said he thought it was ad and he was right. trying to get a dr to listen was a different story. jav
I am laughing so HARD!!!!!!!!!!!! I swear have you guys bugged our house. These converstions sound just like what goes on in our home daily.. his favorite is "I sold the computer b/c I have my wife and she knows everthing"
sometimes I think the problem is me b/c I take the time to respond to him and them just shake my head and say "why am I wasting my breath?" he sees people too . when I am work "they" come into the house and do all kinds of pranks and move things and lose things, I wonder if there is a gremlin exterminator service?????
My husband HATES for me to read this forum....starts mimicing me if I tell him anything I have learned from here. Except...he loved all the jokes! What's the old saying....can't win for losing?
LOL Lynn also like to say things along that line "you know everything" "you are soooooo perfect" My reply? The sooner you come to know that as fact, the better off we will both be! LOL
My DH also says he can't keep up with the day/date, etc. because he isn't working anymore and doesn't need to know. Then why does he ask me over and over "what day is this?"
Ya' got me. I write day and date on a white board every morning. Then he asks me why I write that down. I tell him it's so I don't forget. He seems to think that's a good idea. I'll be he checks that white board at least 6x a day or more.
Mine looks at the date on the newspaper about that many times a day, Mawzy, plus asking me several times a day. I wonder if this is one of those passing things or do they keep doing this?
My husband writes the day and date from the newspaper on a notebook page, but NEVER looks at it. Instead he asks me what day it is, and when the garbage will be collected, and if we have something planned that he knows about, when that will happen at least once a day.
Copying the date from the newspaper was something the therapist suggested to him. He was beyond notebooks and got diagnosed with dementia because he couldn't learn how to use any of the strategies she was trying to teach him.
Dazed he has been doing this for about a year now. When he stops it will be because he has progressed into a later stage.
my DH used to be obsessed with asking day/time/etc i would leave sticky notes on places i knew he would find them, it kept him from asking same questions if he found and read the answer over many times during the day. somedays he would lcollect them all and sit on the couch and reread each sticky over and over and over. it did keep him occupied for many months. then he lost interest and like they say, moved into something else. carrying around objects and reaarranging things!:)divvi
Lynn hasn't asked the date in about 2 years. When the doctor asked him what year it was he looked at him like he was crazy! Then said, "your a doctor and you don't know what year it is?" Then looked at me and whispered I think we need to find a new doctor. CRACKED ME UP!!!
We live in a rural area about 5 miles from a small town. When a State Social worker came to our home to evaluate my husband one of the question she asked was, "Do you know what city you live in?" He replied, "We don't live out in a city. We live in the country, didn't you notice?" I loved it and asked her if that was a yes or a no.
Pat, thanks for bringing this to the top, it has made my day. I loved the story about Lynn's clock.
I wonder if sticky notes would occupy my dh for a while every day?
Has anybody tried putting up a big sign in the bathroom reminding him he's supposed to take a shower this morning? Somehow I think it would just make him mad.
Great thread--had never read it before. Before I learned not to point out things he had done wrong, his response was always "I made a mistake". The current most-used line is the same as Sunshyne's husband, "I was just going to do that." However, he doesn't realize he's walking in the wrong direction, on the wrong floor, in the wrong room, etc.
I have never been able to point out anything that he did wrong in all the years we have been married, and now that is magnified a 1000 points. I am the bad guy always. I am the reason anything goes wrong at anytime. I mumble, when he doesn't hear or understand. I should get a divorce if I don't like the way things are. (Go, leave, get out, are his favorites.) I need a psychiatrist, because there is nothing wrong with him.
Bookworm, sounds like you're a real screw-up all the way around. (-: Seriously, it's hard when you never ever get to be right, even when you are. Have a hug, and mumble away, friend.