I haven’t written in a while because things with DH have been going pretty smooth for some time. DH is 61 and I am 58. Lately, the last 3 or 4 months, things are changing again. DH is demonstrating a decrease in the ability to apply himself to projects. As in, not able to remember numbers as well, his mind seems to “bottle up” (his words) and he can’t “think.” This in turn causes him to stress and become agitated. The agitation causes him to get paranoid. Etc. etc. DH is not diagnosed but most likely has early- to mid-FTD.
Last night, we were working on a project in the garage and I didn’t have good boots on. I mentioned that I needed to go in and change boots. DH told me that we would only be a few more minutes and not to waste my time. So, I stayed another hour with cold feet. So, I told DH that I would be right back. He asks where I was going and I told him to put on my better boots. He then got all mad and blamed me for him forgetting his numbers, for spending more time with the grandchildren than with him, that if son was in the garage that I would not have left to change my boots, that it had only been 5 minutes since I told him that my feet were cold the first time, that I was so unreasonable and didn’t ever want to help him with anything, that he was never going to ask me for anything ever again, that I didn’t need to cook him dinner that he would do it himself, that I was an idiot, that I was stupid, and the list goes on and on.
We all know how hard it is to hear these things when we know that we are wonderful and the only thing stupid about us is that we continue to take the grief that is being dished out. LOL!
So, how am I this morning? Pretty rested because he slept on the couch. Scared for him. Nervous as usual. Wondering if he will be back to his old happy, “I love you so much,” “you sure do a lot for me,” self when I go home at noon.
This is for Jazzy! Please do consider what the others have said about your decision to bring your DH home. Don’t lose the bed at the home. Spend some alone time thinking back to the times when your DH acted like mine did last night. I reread some of your posts and the situation can change so quickly from moment to moment, and day to day. We all know that the stress we get trying to take care of our daily lives and trying to keep our spouse happy takes a toile on us.
I really want my DH to be “easy” all of the time but I know that won’t happen.
I’m writing this just to vent and ask for prays. No need to try to help me fix the situation, just tell me that you care and are thinking about me. You can also tell me what a hero I am for being so kind to DH. LOL.
Mary, You are awesome and doing a great job. Be kind to yourself, try to let the bad words from your DH roll off your back. You are a hero! Keep up the great work and know we are here for you.
I will certainly pray for you, and yes, I care for you and think about you and have for these past several years, ever since we both joined Joan's place. You' are beyond "hero" - a hero often does one magnificent deed, and his fame rests on that. I calculate that you do 7 heroic acts a day, X 365 days in a year, X 7 years (since 2008) = 32, 545 heroic deeds. You make a steady, mighty blaze as you go about your life.
Mary, You are a wonderful wife to withstand these episodes and still be there helping and loving him through all of this. God bless, and I also will send up a few Ave's for you. You KNOW that your patience and love are what is keeping him going while he struggles with this disease.