Husband has been in an alzheimers facility for over two years. I have time to plan time with friends but would rather stay home. I see him nearly every day. I think I'm not lonely because I'd rather be alone, but feel lonely? empty, worried about the future. does this make any sense?
Skates again should add he can't talk, needs to be fed, is in a wheelchair we met at eighteen and have been marked 55 years. Guess seeing your love who doesn't know you and has so many issues you can't help sucks the life out of us also.
this is how it is. It makes total sense. I know how you feel. My husband is in LTC for 15 months and I have such a hard time moving on. I would rather stay home then go out and take part in activities. Making a meal just for me is so hard. I would rather have him here but that can't be. He has to be there. I have been advised not to go everyday as he needs to adjust to life there. They have been right as he is settling in now and I have to do the same. Today he told me he was going to a New Years Eve party at Three tomorrow but I wasn't invited. He said has to make his life there and I need to move on in my world. This is the hardest thing for me is to let go and let others care for him. Move on? I don't know how to do that. I don't know if I can. I get so lonely and I cry a lot. I'm handling this life as best I can for me. We are all living with the same disease but we live it differently. We do the best we can our way. We're the same but different. There will be many others that will come on here and love you and care for you. Read their journeys they are great help.
Skates and jazzy, I can relate as my husband has been in assisted living for 16 months. I too would rather stay home especially in the winter months too but rather than seeing it as a negative I am working on enjoying the solitude and having the space to myself after all the years of caregiving and not being able to come and go as I wanted. I am lonely at times yes and the first few months were very painful for me. But now I find I am less lonely than I was after placing him and I look at that as progress. I work from home so my home is also my work space. That has both advantages and disadvantages. I do not visit every day and decided that 2 times a week was plenty for me. It is just too depressing for,me and he does not remember when I come or how,often I come. In this case I am thinking of myself first, something that was very foreign to me for most of my marriage. Everything was for husband and kids. Everyone moves on in the way that is best for them. I was pretty independent before and we did not do a lot,of together things so maybe it is easier I am not sure. I do cook for myself and find it is sometimes fun to try a new recipe once in a while. I have a hobby that I love and that helps a lot. Moving on is a choice. I Went on my first bus trip alone last month to see a play. It was okay but cannot say I enjoyed it enough to try it again. But I felt good that I had at least done something that forced me out of,the house. We all just need to keep,putting one foot in front of the other and eventually we will all look back and see our progress. We are all in this together.
Skates even though it's been 3 years and 9 months since my husband was placed I still feel lonely sometimes. Like CO2 I have cut my visits to twice a week because it depresses me so much since all he is capable of doing is eating (being fed) and walking. I usually spend the day after visiting getting over the visit. This probably doesn't make sense but Friday night, Saturday and Saturday night are lonely. I feel like everyone is living a fun life while I sit with nobody to talk to and am just waiting for the next depressing NH visit. I remind myself of the home caregiving years and have decided that being lonely is much better. Weekdays I like the freedom of eating, sleeping and going where I please. You are not alone in feeling the way you do.
Thank you, jazzy, co2, and alim Maybe it's the season, that has shaken up our normal patterns. I thank you for your responses, just feeling a bit more down than usual and your comments helped. My best to all of you also. Skates