Joan's blog today is concerning the Caregiver Cruises - both the one to the Caribbean on February 9th, 2009 for 5 nights, and the longer one to Alaska in the Fall. I have been mentioning the February cruise in various discussions for the last month, and some of you have said that you are interested; some of you want to come, but have no one to stay with your spouses and can't bring spouses with them; others think it is too early to know whether your spouses can come or not. I do understand. I don't know for certain that my husband will be able to come (he can if he doesn't deteriorate further between now and then), however, I didn't want to take a chance of not getting the flights we would need to ensure he could travel well, plus I NEEDED to have something NICE to plan for! Of course I took out trip insurance, so that if he gets REALLY bad and neither of us can go, then we'll get our money back.
If you even think that it may be possible to come, please start making your plans to join Joan. We'll be able to meet in person, hug in person, and RELAX! I'm looking forward to a good massage on board, seeing Key West and the Caymans for the first time - and I'm hoping to do some snorkeling as well. I play bridge, so if three more of you come who play bridge, I can play bridge again! I haven't been able to do so for almost two years - since Dave couldn't follow suit any more. But I can gladly do without bridge, if you guys will just come! (They have a card room with all sorts of games, including checkers, so those who have spouses who can still play checkers, or who have spouses who will sit and lurk (or peep, Divvi) they could watch. <grin> We'll never know unless we go and try!
If you are planning to come, could you please sign in on this discussion and say yes, and if you are still trying to make plans or consider it, say maybe????? It will be great fun! BE OPTIMISTIC! <grin>
Mary - I have been thinking of coming ~ My husb & I went on a cruise this past March & he LOVED it -- we were w/my 23 yr old dtr & my mom (nearly 70) so I had a little help, but wondering what stage your DH is in? Mine is 6 or so...I can't leave him for a massage without bringing someone along with me...that's where I am with all the planning. Just trying to think through it all & figure something out.
I am a maybe. I would love to meet all of you. It would be so wonderful to see each other in person. I don't know how to play bridge but I would love to learn. My husband, Wayne, is a great traveller but I can't leave him alone. I would have to take him with me. I am assuning there are break out sessions about caregiving. I would have to take him with me to those. It would be great if there was a place the spouses could go on board while we go the caregiver group sessions.
Would love to meet you. If I recall you are in Arkansas?
natsmom, my husband is late stage 6, but he is very easy going (no violence or rages) and only says one word responses - yes, no, okay, fine, and good. He can dress himself (takes him 15-20 minutes), shave himself (but starting to miss spots), make the bed and take out the trash. That is about it. He can no longer read, but enjoys watching movies that we have on DVD that are his favorites, because he remembers the storyline and can still enjoy them. (John Wayne ones are his favorite) There will be a movie theater on the ship, so I'm hoping that he will enjoy his popcorn and movie (like he does now when we take him to the show) - my 45 year old single daughter who moved in with us a few years ago is taking her vacation to come with us. If there are not a couple of people to watch our spouses, then maybe those who want to and can could go to the movie theater on the ship and see a movie during our caregiver seminars.
My daughter and I will take turns getting our massages. Could your husband get a massage at the same time you get yours?
At one time there was talk about someone who could stay with the spouses for an hour here or there while we were in the seminars, but I don't know if that has been firmed up as yet.
Polly, yes, I'm from Arkansas - but I've lived in Mass., Germany, Texas, Virginia and Washington state. We lived in Houston, Texas the longest. We came back to Arkansas so that I could take care of my mother when she found out she had lung cancer back in 1994 (I was an only child and my father had died). She died in 1997, but we decided to just retire here. He retired - I'm still working! <grin>
Mary, put me down for maybe. I am trying to be optimistic as I truly would love to go! Being new to the board I only found about the cruise a few weeks ago and I just don’t think I could swing it. But I am still working on it. I wish the boat was departing closer to home so there wasn’t the airfare to deal with as well. Boston would be ideal for us. Lynn would hate the airports, he gets flustered at a small mall! So I don’t think bringing him would be an option. But if I want to go alone, I would need to find someone to stay with him. My sister just this week starting watching him so I could have some “me time” But, I don’t think she would want to stay here alone with him for that long. I better figure it out soon! lol
Mary I would love to go but decided my husband is not able to go, even with someone else along, and at this time he wants to be where I am. He has a bad lower back stenosis that limits his walking and standing and he could just not do it. We both love cruises and I am sure you will have a good time.
For now I'm planning on it! My DH is in early stages and hopefully would enjoy a cruise. We have never been on a cruise but the thought of traveling with other folks with a lot in common would make it more fun. It would be great to connect the names with faces-we already feel like friends and family in the ways we communicate with each other! I will make final decision by the end of the week-just need to make sure DH is really on board before making the deposit. I know there are at least 3 other couples (also in early stages) from my support group who are planning on going.
Mary - Your husb sounds like he's alot like mine with regard to his temperment ~ Mine does not do any of those things (dressing, shaving, bedmaking, trashtakingout) any longer, but he's happy to have me do it for/with him :) I will think about it & decide very soon! I've actually been thinking more about it today & the FUN of meeting all of y'all & visiting with many who have so much in common with us!! That would be a BIG blessing to me :) Nikki, I have the same issue of "air travel"...we have traveled before, but now it is more of a problem because of the incontinence/restroom issues. But American Airlines does have "family style" restrooms in the airports...And I know that my husband & I can both fit into the little restroom on board, altho it's not IDEAL by any means! HA! In a pinch, it beats tee tee on the seat, that's for sure!! wink ;) All that to say, we have to travel by air from DFW, TX to Ft.Lauderdale (my sister lives there & we could spend the nite w/her & then she could take us to the ship the next day for the cruise)...we'd probably spend a few days with her after the cruise too. My husband loves her kiddos & I do too!! I'm starting to talk myself into this! :)
My husband (in early stage) seems amenable to the cruise. However, I am concerned as to how he would occupy his time when I attend the caregiver sessions. We are together nearly all the time and he doesn't like to be left alone. Once he gets into a bad mood it's a major effort to redirect him. Joan, last time what did Sid and the other spouses do when you were occupied?
Mary, etc: My DH and I are signed up to go. I too am concerned about occupying his time during the caregiver sessions, but to be honest, he can probably tag along and sit there quietly smiling, and I think he would enjoy everything else about the cruise. We went on a Celebrity Cruise in 2003, about 2-1/2 years before diagnosis, so I had Patrick mail me a glossy brochure and my DH got excited about the pictures and certainly seemed to understand what we were planning. AND, I have taken to heart everyone on this website saying travel while you can! I took my DH to Paris in August to visit a close friend who lives six months out of the year in Paris, and we had a great time! Exhausting for me, but still great. (And ironically, our friend from Paris lives the rest of the year in Ft. Lauderdale, so we'll fly from Houston to Ft.L. and visit with him before or after the February cruise) So, unless my DH deteriorates quickly, which I realize could happen, I figure a cruise will be easy compared to what was undoubtedly our last overseas trip! AND, I really do want to meet Joan and everyone else!!!
Our husbands stuck together and hung around in the lounge outside of the room where we were meeting for the sessions.
Since cell phones don't work on the ship, Sid and I have a pair of walkie talkies. If we were going to be separated, we carried them with us, so we could stay in touch.
ALL of the guys were in bad moods when we first got on the ship - it was the change in routine, but by the time we went to dinner that night, they were all smiles and happy.
I'm so glad to hear that you guys are going! I'm hoping more will come as well. We'll figure out something for those whose husbands can't be left alone. I've bought extra batteries for our walkie talkies. Everything on the ship is wheelchair accessible if that is slowing some of you down from making the decision to come. We'll help each other on the ship, just like we do here.
Mary---unrelated to the cruise, but remind me where you live in Arkansas? We live in Houston but my daughters have both attended camp in Mt. Ida for YEARS and in fact, next year both will probably be working there, so I've made the drive from Houston up 59 to Hot Springs more times than I can count! Looking forward to meeting you on the cruise. We have walkie talkies too (from family vacations at the beach with young kids before cell phones), so I'm glad Joan reminded us to bring them.
I'm signed up and am looking forward to meeting everyone! Patrick is supposed to be getting roommates for those who would like one, but so far I haven't heard anything about that.
texasmom, my son and his wife live in Houston (Katy, really - Houston city limits is across the street!) and my grandson and his wife and children live in Houston also. We lived in Atasocita for 17 years (and worked in downtown Houston) before moving back to our hometown so that I could take care of my mother. We're in Little Rock, and enjoy Hot Springs a lot. I can't tell you the number of times we travelled down 59! I know that road by heart - it's a 7 hour drive, but we always made two stops along the way! I'll exchange information with you on the cruise. I have three e-mail addresses and they all give away my real name, so I can't use it here!
Fran, hopefully Patrick can find someone soon. If someone else here is coming without their spouse, contact Fran!!!
I just talked to Patrick, and he said that the price for the inside cabins and ocean view have gone down. The date to get your deposit in is October 11th. You don't have to make the final payment until December 1st. Those who want to come and can bring their spouse but can't leave them alone for the seminars: they should be able to stay in the back of the room where the seminar is held, or if they can be left alone, there is a "movie theater" on board, so that they could watch a movie during the seminars.
Those of you who have lost your loved ones are welcome to come and meet the rest of us in person and just get away and relax and enjoy yourselves. We would love to have everyone here come. The cost for an inside cabin is $290 per person, and we'll find a way to help those on board with their loved ones who need it. Call Patrick at the number on Joan's web page for more information.