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    • CommentAuthorlost4ever
    • CommentTimeNov 13th 2014
     
    I am new to this sight . I need help in dealing with disease because I am felling somewhat angry at this role I've benn put into since my spouse has always been very selfish and non caring. what can I do?
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      CommentAuthorNikki
    • CommentTimeNov 13th 2014
     
    Welcome lost, though I am sorry you find yourself looking for this kind of support. I recommend you take some time to read through the previous threads, there is a wealth of information documented here. On the top of the page there are 4 blue tabs, if you go the Search page you can type in what you are looking for. There is also an advanced option on the search page that makes it easier to find exactly what you are looking for.

    This "journey" is hard enough for those of us who had wonderful marriages, I truly can't imagine how those of you who had more difficult marriages can handle all of the challenges and pain. There are others here who feel as you do, I am sure they will come by to share their wisdom with you. My heart goes out to you ((hugs))
    • CommentAuthorCharlotte
    • CommentTimeNov 13th 2014
     
    hi lost4ever - welcome. Sorry you had to join us but you will find lots of answers here. As Nikki said, use the search - I prefer the advance because it is easier to find things with.

    I am one that had a not so great marriage and yes, I have gone through the anger at the role I have to do. The anger comes and goes, sort of like the grief process we go through watching our spouse slowly go away from us and die.

    My husband is 67 was diagnosed in 3/2008 but we all know it starts much earlier. He comes from a family of AD - dad died in 2010, younger sister this last July, paternal grandmother, aunt and uncle all died from AD. I am 62.
    • CommentAuthorAdmin
    • CommentTimeNov 14th 2014
     
    lost4ever,

    Welcome to my website. I am one of those who had a loving marriage, but when AD hit, I was blindsided by the changes in my husband's personality. I started this website in 2007 because I couldn't find anyone who would talk about how I felt - I thought I was the only one feeling the way I did about what Alzheimer's Disease was doing to my marriage. I needed a place that dealt with my unique issues as a spouse of an Alzheimer patient. This site is now a place of comfort for spouses/partners who are trying to cope with the Alzheimer's/dementia of their husband/wife/partner. The issues we face in dealing with a spouse/partner with this disease are so different from the issues faced by children and grandchildren caregivers. We discuss all of those issues here - loss of intimacy; social contact; conversation; anger; resentment; stress; and pain of living with the stranger that Alzheimer's Disease has put in place of our beloved spouse/partner.

    As Nikki said, it is difficult enough for those of us with good marriages to navigate through this journey, but it is doubly ( if not more) difficult for those who had troubling marriages. There are a variety of message board topics on bad marriages and AD. Copy and paste this link:

    http://thealzheimerspouse.com/vanillaforum/comments.php?DiscussionID=66&page=1#Item_7

    Check out this older blog:

    http://www.thealzheimerspouse.com/unhappymarriage.htm


    The message boards are only part of this website. Please be sure to log onto the home page - www.thealzheimerspouse.com - and read all of the resources on the left side. I recommend starting with "Newly Diagnosed/New Member" and "Understanding the Dementia Experience".

    Do not miss the "previous blog" section. It is there you will find a huge array of topics with which you can relate. There is a "search" feature on the home page that allows you to look up different topics that may have been explored in a previous blog. Log onto the home page daily for new blogs; news updates; important information.

    joang
  1.  
    Welcome lost4ever, we all know and truly understand what you are going through. I too was angry literally all,the time and hated the person I was becoming. I have learned that anger can be a emotion to mask depression and fear. Anger unexpressed becomes depression so maybe it is good that you are expressing it.