My DH has been having memory problems for a few years and as officially diagnosed this summer. Days are long and nights longer. He is very stubborn and will not go to a neurologist. "Nothing wrong". It's me. Finally got family dr to put him on low dose of celebrex , started today. Pray this helps. He has two grown children who will have nothing to do with him thanks to their mothers lies a d negativity. He has been a presbyterian minister for over 50 years and didn't make enough money to make them happy. We have an 11 year old granddaughter we haven't been able to see since she was three'. He cries daily for his family. I'm all he has. He has spent his life doing for others and he needs his children and grandchildren. Explosive anger is latest problem and the one I can't deal with, he was also so kind and gentle with everyone. Sorry for going on and on but, my heart is breaking
Welcome barbara w - sorry you had to join us. You will find many here who have estranged children, including step children who have been alienated by ex- wives. And if you have been reading you will know that most of us have had friends disappear and family that also have disappeared. This disease seems to bring out the worst in people - their fears, ignorance and/or how selfish they can be.
You will find that this is a great place to come for for comfort, help, advise and laughs. Yes we do have some good times here. Your story sounds like mine. I had a sweet gentle loving husband who I became afraid of. His angry out bursts terrified me. He is on trazadone and now Ativan. The Ativan keeps him calm and has just about eliminated the outbursts. I think trazadone and Celebrex are the same drug but I may be wrong. He is in a LTC home and they are great with him. I am able to bring him home days only now as he gives them a hard time when he stays over night with me. They say Christmas will be fine with them. I was really please with the Ativan and he says he feels better. He has two sons from a previous marriage but she did a good job an one of them before she passed away, but it is against me not his Dad. He also has trouble accepting his Dad's illness. The other one is really trying. My DH has been diagnosed with AD, vascular and Frontotemporal with the bv Varient. He has a hard load.
Again Welcome.
Try reading as many of the threads as you can. Use the topic section. I am a verbal new bee hear but Joan and the veterans will be here soon to help guide you.
Barbara, welcome to our cyber-family....so sorry you have to be here; but Joan's site has been a life saver to so many of us. I believe the drug you referred to is Celexa, which is an anti depressant. I'm not sure if that would be as helpful to him as something else to help with the anxiety...Is there any way for you to speak with his doctor without him present so you can explain to him exactly what is going on with your husband....the signs and symptoms he is exhibiting?
Hi Barbara, I agree with Bella's suggestion that if the medication doesn't work, you should talk with your husband's doctor privately. As far as a neurologist goes, not everyone with dementia goes to a neurologist. As I see it, their primary benefit is to rule out other causes (vitamin B12 deficiency, drug interaction, thyroid problems, etc.) But if your husband has already been diagnosed, these conditions have probably been ruled out.
This is a hard road for everyone but it is especially difficult for those who do not have the affection and encouragement of family members. I can understand why he is hurt and what a burden that puts on you. It sounds like he could use some moral support - I was wondering if there is any program that the Presbyterian Church might have for its retired ministers? Maybe his former colleagues could provide him with some camaraderie or just lend a sympathetic ear.
Welcome to my website. It is after one in the morning, and I can't keep my eyes open, but I did want to acknowledge you. I will write more of a proper welcome tomorrow when I am awake. Rest assured that you have come to the right place. There will always be someone on this website with whom you can relate. We have all either gone through, or will go through, the same struggles, and are here to help one another. Going to bed now.
Thank you everyone for welcome and encouragement. He is on citalipram, and very reluctantly Dr gave me ativan. I have been on that for years, and it does help with worst of it. On Friday Dr suggested I see if anything available through church. Unfortunately all his close minister friends have died in past few years, and I'm finding clergy have no more knowledge of this disease than any one else. Believe it or not he is still able to preach, that is a real blessing, after 53 years I guess that comes naturally. It's amazing how people you thought could help are clueless. Barbara
I can so relate to the children being a victim of the ex-wife's "influence", but dang it, they're adults! Try figuring things out for yourselves, kids! Dan's daughter is trying, but his son......not so much. The irony of it is, the ex-wife just recently died of guess what? Alzheimer's!
Welcome, Barbara. Hook up and come along for the ride. My DH died Sept. 2, and I must tell you that this group is the only thing…literally the only thing…that kept me going through his Alzheimers decline and death. These people know what they are talking about…much more so than the "professionals." (And I am one of them, btw. A registered nurse for 43 years--but not remotely prepared to be an Alzheimers spouse/widow.) I'm sorry you have to be here, but you are in the right place. (Celebrex is an arthritis med. Did you perhaps mean Celexa?)
Sorry I'm so late with this. I struggle just the same as my members to get up every day and put one foot in front of the other. Some days are better than others. I had a couple of bad days, but I'm back today. I wanted to make sure I introduced you to this website and its features. I started this website in 2007 because I couldn't find anyone who would talk about how I felt - I thought I was the only one feeling the way I did about what Alzheimer's Disease was doing to my marriage. I needed a place that dealt with my unique issues as a spouse of an Alzheimer patient. This site is now a place of comfort for spouses/partners who are trying to cope with the Alzheimer's/dementia of their husband/wife/partner. The issues we face in dealing with a spouse/partner with this disease are so different from the issues faced by children and grandchildren caregivers. We discuss all of those issues here - loss of intimacy; social contact; conversation; anger; resentment; stress; and pain of living with the stranger that Alzheimer's Disease has put in place of our beloved spouse/partner.
The message boards are only part of this website. Please be sure to log onto the home page - www.thealzheimerspouse.com - and read all of the resources on the left side. I recommend starting with "Newly Diagnosed/New Member" and "Understanding the Dementia Experience". Do not miss the "previous blog" section. It is there you will find a huge array of topics with which you can relate. There is a "search" feature on the home page that allows you to look up different topics that may have been explored in a previous blog. Log onto the home page daily for new blogs; news updates; important information.