my dh and his father had financial disagreement over a year ago. he has not visited at our home since al this came to a head. i have to say i have had a hard time with all the things he said and did. he also said very hurtful things to me about our 3 children. i was shocked,to say the least. he accused my dh of stealing from him and he was going to prosicute somebody,were his words. for those of you that have read my posts before,may remember some about this situation. my dh and his father were partners on the farm.half and half. dh has sweated blood farming,and that is actually not an exzageration, he has been an extremely hard worker since he was a small child. he has 3 other brothers and 1 sister. he has always told me he remembers working in the field while his older brother was riding his mini bike up and down the road. you know,things like that stick with a person their whole life. dh has always been the one everyone depended on for work and advice on farming,vehicles,financial advice and everything in between. dh and his father farmed together and bought machinery together and so on. they bought a farm together around 20 years ago. fil has his own farm also. dh and his father paid off that farm many years ago. it has always been understood between dh and his father that dh will get fil's part of the co owned farm signed over to him, instead of getting a part of the original family farm as part of his inhertiance. i might add that dh and i live on this co-owned farm. we built a home there in 2000. our home and 5 acres were put in mine and dh's name at the time so we could build the house. dh also agreed to give his older brother 5 acres of this co owned farm several years ago,because that is what his parents wanted him to do. i did't like it at the time,but said nothing,because it would have started a family fued? they don't even live there now,their son does. now i am getting close to my question. fil says he is wanting to go ahead and put the co owned farm in dh and my name now. he had a chance to do this when mil passed away 2 yrs ago,because her name was on it too. he just had it changed into his name and dh and mine,leaving her name off. i couldn't understand why he did'nt put it in our names then,but dh has gotten worse and fil says he wants to now,but he wants to give dh's sister 100 acres out of it first. i don't know if this is fair to dh. he always said he didn't think that was fair to him and our children. i don't know if i should bring this up or let sleeping dogs lie. that is one of my questions,i don't know what to do. another question is,should this farm just be put in my name so no one in the future can take it away,if i owe medical and care bills in the future for dh. i don't think fil will ever agree to put it in my name only. i don't even know if that would make a difference,legally, if it was just in my name. i need advice,but can't afford an attorney. i wish we had an attorney on this site that could give us legal advice. wouldn't that be wonderful? i am sorry if i sound like a bitter person,i try not to be,but some things are hard to get over. jav

I would recommend you set up an appt with an atty near you and tell him your circumstances upfront before allowing your husband to sign off on any family deal. some attys dont charge for initial consultations, you can call around and see. or try to call a legal aide office nearest you, they give advice for free. there are circumstances where verbal agreements are just as binding as written-. if your DH was promised half of the place without giving up 100 acres and that wasnt discussed when your FIL said half then he may not have to agree to that split. you need to look out for DH, yourself and kids future first. if your DH has been diagnosed with AD then its a whole different ballgame and you should already have a DPOA to be able to make legal decisions for him at some point if you question your Dh ability to make these decisions. you need real questions answered from a good atty in the area you live in. divvi