Hi everyone, it has been almost a year since my H left me and it has been terrible. If anyone remembers, he left me without any notice or income. I finally got the divorce proceedure going but I don't know if it is going to help financially or not because his daughter holds the purse strings not him. We'll see! In the meantime I am still living in my apartment and got section 8. The SSD was denied and my lawyer is appealing it as we speak. Of course that still means that I can't even try to find work so the only income I have comes from my ex-husbands retirement pension. Not much but will have to do for now!
I am seeing a psychiatrist and a abuse counselor, I take meds for severe panic disorder and post traumatic stress and I have lost the few friends I had left because they can't handle it but that's their problem! I need some hugs from my real friends and family! I am just glad that I made it back!!!!
I remember you. You were(are?) in New Mexico and your husband went to the PNW. I respect and admire your strength and perseverance. Good for you! Kudos for taking care of yourself and best wishes for your future.
Hang in there, you usually get denied the SSI 2 or 3 times before they award it. (from experience). You are an overcomer!!!!!!!! Hang in there and give yourself a pat on the back.
If the courts order payments and his step-daughter does not follow-through I think she would be legally liable of she has POA. I don't think she will have a choice.
deb, thanks for updating us. I've been worried about you since your last post in May 2014 and so wanted to find a way to help you or offer what assistance I could. Good for you! I am glad you're on the road to recovery. It must be a relief.
Once the divorce is final (or a negotiated divorce agreement) can't you legally get 1/2 of his social security? Not an attorney but just want to make sure you get what you're entitled to.
deb, so glad to hear you are 'surviving' the horrible times you have been through. I do hope and pray you will be granted financial help through the divorce as well as SSD. Hang in there, Girl! We still have that rope for you to hang onto - and I just tied another knot for you!
Thank you so much for all your welcome backs, it really feels good to be back! Legal aid, which is the ones that helped me with the divorce are only helping me to serve him and that's all they will do. If she, the daughter, doesn't comply I think I would have to get a regular lawyer to enforce it. I just keep thinking of all the dead beat dads out there that seem to rather go to jail than pay their child support. Everyone is here is concerned about my losing rights to his pension after he dies but I can't think of that right now. Right now is when I need to survive, I will worry about then, then. Vickie, I have missed reading all your good comments, you are always so upbeat and I know that things for you are just as bad as it is for everyone else here. Thank you for putting another knot in that rope just for me. Mine has been getting a little frayed lately! LOL Somehow even though I was too depressed to even get on this site I always knew that you were still here! Charlotte was emailing me at times and I really appreciated that as well.
I am sorry you have to go through this mess. I am suspecting you need more legal help. The pension issue pops up, I am sure you are legally entitle to part of it right now. You might be legally entitled to part of his pension since he moved out retroactively. Of course you have to balance this against legal costs.
No pressure Deb, but perhaps if you're up to it one day you could call the pension plan administrator at your husband's company and ask them what forms you would need to file for a qualified domestic relations (QDRO) or maybe legal aide could at least do that for you since it should be done in conjunction with the divorce. One of our members who no longer posts finally did that and is now receiving her portion of her husband's pension which is making a huge difference in her ability to support herself. I promise I won't pressure you about this, I just want you to have what you're entitled to.
Deb, if you are 62 or older you can apply for his SS benefits, If you have been married more than 10 years. Go to the SS office and they will assist you at no cost. IF the daughter does not follow the court order, you can petition the court, thru the judge to have it enforced. That should not require a lawyer. So proud of you !!!!!!!!!!
I have no legal experience or advice to give, but I can say that you are doing what is best for Deb and that's paramount. I want to give you little pitty pats on your wounds. Thankfully, you seem to have landed on your feet which will help with the still more you need to do, no one knows better than those of us here.
Hey deb so glad to hear you ste a survivor. I agree legal aide in your area should provide you more answers. There are definately ways to enforce courts rulings. Good luck ! Divvi
Jazzy, thank you for your thoughts, I am not even sure how I got through it for that matter. Just one day at a time and then low and behold it was done!
paulc, I agree that I need more legal help but it is going to have to wait until I can afford to pay a decent lawyer because legal aide says that I only qualify up to a point with their services and I tapped out.
LFL, that is a really good idea, I don't even know if the company still exists because one of the employees told us in 2000 that the company may be going bankrupt.
SHELLSEEKER50, I am only 57 and that has been a lot of my problem financially. I guess I am a poster child for why not to marry someone so much older! haha
Bettyhere, I love the pitty pat! Thank you!
Mimi, Thank you for that and I have felt that even though I wasn't on the site the whole time.
divvi, I guess you get what you pay for!!! I am not done though!