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    • CommentAuthorWolf
    • CommentTimeOct 1st 2014
     
    Fall is here and in Ontario some trees are turning early.
  1.  
    Really missing my DH. Not looking forward to the next few months. With DD married and out of the house. I am not liking the empty nest feeling.

    The weather has been to warm and dry, the leaves here are burning up and falling off the trees. I hope we get some color soon.
    • CommentAuthorWolf
    • CommentTimeOct 1st 2014
     
    Short fun video of a clever dog.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V46ebqiAWm8
  2.  
    Fall colors here in Maine are nearing peak. I've taken lots of pictures. Cruise ships are coming to Bar Harbor.
  3.  
    Starting to be pretty here in the Heartland. Leaves are turning…golden warm afternoons…crisp nights. I am taking long walks every day, and eating fairly well…weight is not budging yet. DD thinks I will never get attached to this area if I don't get out and meet people…but it's not even a month. It will be a month tomorrow. I don't want to meet people, at least, not yet.
    • CommentAuthorbqd*
    • CommentTimeOct 1st 2014
     
    Fall colors peaked here on the weekend, now leaves are falling and some of the trees are already bare. I have most of the firewood moved into the house - next task will be to rake the yard and put the gardens to bed for the winter. I'll wait until my next week of respite to accomplish these tasks.
    The weather remains warm and dry but the fog in the evening makes driving difficult.
    • CommentAuthormyrtle*
    • CommentTimeOct 1st 2014 edited
     
    My husband went into LTC this summer and my cats died last winter, so instead of being a four-person family, it's just me. It feels strange and creepy being in the house alone, especially as the days get shorter. Very quiet.

    Color is starting to show here. We had a long, sunny warm spell but it's cooling fairly quickly now. I'm still picking tomatoes -- Big Boys and Sweet 100s -- I give them to the lawnmowing guy as a tip. Years ago, when I still thought we had a future, I planted two standard-size apple trees in our front yard. This year they exploded with apples. The apples are small and since I did not spray them last winter, kind of buggy. So I found a pig farmer who says he will be glad to have them. Will drop them off tomorrow. I had a couple of tons of wood pellets delivered and I need to need to reorganize the garage so I can put the car in. I also have to pull down the storm windows and weather strip the interior windows. In the spring, I removed the glass insert in the storm door and put in the screen insert. Because the the glass is heavy, I kept putting off moving it down to the basement for the summer, so it's still in the front hall ready to be put back in. Once again, procrastination has saved me some work.
    • CommentAuthorCharlotte
    • CommentTimeOct 1st 2014
     
    Received a call yesterday about another apartment available the end of October. I told her we would take it but I am still torn. I know in my mind this is the right thing to do - I can adapt. If I don't like can always move back into the motorhome. Now to run the propane out of the big tank. I have no idea how much is really in it - says 20% which should be 24 gallons but it has been on 20% since May. If it runs out, I will use up the propane in the motorhome tank. Weather is still nice enough I don't need the furnace. It gets down to upper 50s inside but by 9 when we get up the sun has warmed it up to 70. But it is only the 1st so it can still turn cold.

    I have until the end of the month to back out or maybe there will be a place in the duplex complex come available!
    • CommentAuthormyrtle*
    • CommentTimeOct 1st 2014
     
    Charlotte, is it possible for you to take a tour of the interior of of one of the duplexes, even if it is not available for rental now? This would give you an idea of whether it is worth waiting for. Why not ask them if this is possible?
  4.  
    Myrtle, I'm just wondering if you will get another cat/cats. Charlotte, I think you have to feel "right" about going into a new home. If you don't want to, and the "vibe" is just not there, it may not be the place for you. For all who are dealing with firewood, pellets, etc….I have to say that our gas fireplace has been a real treat. I dealt with wood-burners for years…and loved them…but the gas fireplace is undeniably easier.
    • CommentAuthorbqd*
    • CommentTimeOct 2nd 2014
     
    elizabeth*, I would have natural gas here if I could - I like to cook with it, as well as using it to heat the house. Unfortunately that is not an option, and propane is just too expensive.
    Our weather is supposed to turn cold, rainy and just plain ugly this weekend, so I am glad I have some dry firewood in the basement to use in the wood stove!
  5.  
    I'm actually enjoying the onset of coolness that comes with Fall. I stopped enjoying it for a while there, since it seemed to just portend Winter, but maybe enjoying it again is a reflection of feeling happy about life again, finally.

    Got a load of stuff hauled by 1-800-GotJunk today, and now I can sweep out the garage and basement and have a better idea just what I will need to pack up for moving. When I move. That's a big When. Still working on grading permits for the new place which, I understand, can hang up pretty good in the county gears when you're dealing with property in watershed areas (which the entire county pretty much is.)
    • CommentAuthorCharlotte
    • CommentTimeOct 2nd 2014
     
    I emailed the manager of the apartments to find out if the first floor apartment was a concrete slab. She called back to say it was but it was not available. She forgot about a wait list of people that want the first floor. But the apartment that person is moving from is available on the third floor. I told her we would take it. It is on the the end so will only have neighbors on one side. It faces south so will have sun all day winter and summer. Great for winter - maybe less heat, not so great for summer - will need the a/c more. Oh well. I am keeping positive on moving. If a duplex come available we can always look at moving then.

    Grew up with wood heat. It was dad's job to get the fire going in the morning to warm the house so we could throw our clothes on and run out to the stove to get warm. It was our job as kids to go with dad to cut trees down, clean the branches off, then cut and split it back at home. I loved the warmth of a wood fire. A couple times we have had a house with a wood stove and I loved it. After we all left home dad put in an oil stove - was too much to do it by himself an he was in his 70s
    • CommentAuthormyrtle*
    • CommentTimeOct 2nd 2014
     
    Charlotte - South-facing windows are good.

    Elizabeth - A gas fireplace may be in my future. When we got the pellet stove, we did not have gas service -- we used oil for fuel. But last fall, we converted to gas so now the fireplace is a possibility. Also, I'm thinking about getting another cat/cats. When my husband went into LTC, I was so tired that I did not want to take care of any other creature but myself. But now that I'm more rested, I've been thinking about it and looking at the cats featured on the websites of the local shelters.
    • CommentAuthorbqd*
    • CommentTimeOct 4th 2014
     
    I finished stacking the firewood yesterday, and just go the last of the wood (that didn't fit into the basement) covered, when our power went out. And stayed out for 10 hours. Not easy for a person with dementia, or for their care giver. I did heat some soup on the wood stove so that we could have dinner, and we stayed up until after dark. I was able to read for awhile with the help of kerosene lanterns and candles. DH went to bed early, as there was nothing to do (ie no TV). I put a candle in the bathroom to act as a nightlight.

    DH got up later, and I was horrified to find him holding the lit candle and wandering the house. He was looking for his flashlight (which he keeps beside his bed) so that he could find his glasses! I was so happy when the power came back on and I could extinguish the candle, and now worry about the potential of my DH setting fire to the place.

    Charlotte - yes, in winter months, south facing windows would be great, and having an end unit is a bonus. And as you say, you can always move again later. You are strong enough to put up with your hubby's confusion with the move.
  6.  
    One thing we always used to teach in home health care…both to the patients, their family members, and the aides working in the homes…was to encourage the use of battery-operated lighting sources for power outages. Before a storm, when we would all be checking on what the patients were using for alternate lighting, it was terrifying when these little old people tottering around on walkers or with quad canes…or holding onto furniture…and sometimes known to have poor judgement...would cheerfully open a kitchen drawer full of candles and matches, and say they were well-prepared for power outages. I would suggest that all of us…whether caregivers or not…have battery-operated flashlights and hurricane lanterns ready to go in case the power goes out. Check from time to time to make sure fresh batteries are in place, or available in the home. Another reason to avoid candles is pets in the home who could knock them over.
    • CommentAuthorbqd*
    • CommentTimeOct 4th 2014
     
    I agree, elizabeth*, and its just one of those things I have been procrastinating about (like getting a generator).

    I think last night's experience was enough to tell me that I had better get a battery powered light for the bathroom, in case of emergencies. Thanks for the reminder.
    • CommentAuthormyrtle*
    • CommentTimeOct 4th 2014
     
    I learned my lesson about emergency lighting in 2011, when our region was hit by a blizzard on October 30 - completely out of season. The leaves were still on the trees and the weight of the snow brought down big branches and uprooted whole trees. We were without power for one week. After that, I put together an emergency kit, with battery-operated lanterns, flashlights, hand-crank radio, extra D batteries, etc. I keep all this stuff in one box, which is easily accessible. I did not buy a generator because of the cost. But if we lived in the countryside or were reliant on well water, rather than our municipal water system, I would have bought one. Another useful item is a notebook computer or tablet that you can charge in your car. I did not have one. I didn't have a smartphone, either. We really needed access to local news to learn what gas stations and restaurants were open. At least I had a cell phone, so I could call people.

    It was very difficult to manage my husband at home. He did not understand what was happening and he constantly complained about the cold and darkness and the lack of TV, coffee, and food. Luckily, after three days, a friend in another city had her power restored, and she took us in. My husband was still confused by being in someone else’s house but at least we were warm and I was able to get him back on his regular meal schedule.
    • CommentAuthorbqd*
    • CommentTimeOct 4th 2014
     
    myrtle,
    We are on well water, but I keep 20 gallons of well water stored in the basement for emergencies. And I periodically refresh this supply.

    We also live on a lake, so unless we have a power outage in the middle of winter or early spring when the lake is frozen over, we always have a source of water. And if the lake is frozen over, we would probably have snow on the ground which I could melt.
    I have a very thoughtful neighbor who shares his generator with me when we have outages that last more than a day, so that I can keep the food in the fridge and freezer edible. Hence my reluctance to purchase a generator.

    We have a telephone that works without electricity (cell phone service is non existent here). But we lose our internet service when the power goes out, so it wouldn't matter if I had an iPad or not.

    In addition to the wood stove, I have a propane BBQ with side burner that I can cook on if necessary, and the wood stove can kick out enough heat to heat the entire house.

    Where we fail in our emergency preparedness is in lighting, and I intend to fix that this week with a trip to the hardware store for some sort of battery powered lanterns that I can use.

    This is the first time that my DH has done anything so risky in a power failure, and is yet another reminder that he continues to deteriorate.
    • CommentAuthormyrtle*
    • CommentTimeOct 4th 2014
     
    bqd, This conversation is good because it reminds us that even when everyone is off the grid, it affects different people differently. Our phone service is provided by our cable TV company so when the power is out, our phone is out. Our pellet stove will not operate without power, but a wood stove would. (Unfortunately, I can't use a wood stove or even an open fireplace because they trigger my asthma.) A gas fireplace will work (I have no idea why) as will a gas water heater. But a gas furnace will not work. Most municpal water systems will continue to provide water. So everyone is in a unique situation in a power outage.
    • CommentAuthorWolf
    • CommentTimeOct 4th 2014
     
    Bonnie,

    I'm pretty sure they sell a battery cell with a bulb on it. I'm sure I saw something like that from Coleman in a camping sense where no flame is involved - it's basically a big battery with a small lamp attachement. I've also seen lighting sticks where it's a longer covered light with more of a flourescent tone also battery powered.
    • CommentAuthorbqd*
    • CommentTimeOct 4th 2014
     
    Wolf

    I had been considering the "Clamp light" available from Home Hardware - I figure that in addition to using it for emergency power situations, I can also use it for fixing plumbing or other problems where lighting is not sufficient. And it is a glorified battery with LED light, but has feet that can "clamp" or stand on their own. I believe it also has a hanger attached. Now I just have to go out and buy it - too miserable a day to go out today, and our local hardware store is closed on Sundays, so it will have to wait until I go shopping next week.
  7.  
    On flashlights or do you Canadians call them "torches?": I was given a Surefire LED flashlight because I have to walk our dogs on leashes at night due to coyotes - they are so bold they leave scat on our driveway. These flashlights are really bright, in a way I've never had a flashlight, even a Magnalite - I can sweep it across the meadow and look for eyes to light up. Last night a small herd of deer were staring back at me, at least I think that is what all of the eyes were. It seemed that the night does have a thousand eyes. The downside is that these lights take special Surefire batteries, but I must say, if you have need of a powerful light, these are amazing.
    • CommentAuthorbqd*
    • CommentTimeOct 4th 2014
     
    Marche,

    I grew up calling them flashlights, but I have friends who call them "torches". We have an LED flashlight in the kitchen and you are right, even though it is small it is quite powerful. The problem with it is it is rechargeable, and loses its charge too soon to use it long term, such as I needed yesterday for a night light.

    I read somewhere that deer eyes reflect as green at night - one way to tell them from other larger animals.
  8.  
    bdq.

    They were green eyes! Thanks for that pearl. Tonight when I came home from the ALF, there was a huge buck in the yard. He must be the baby daddy of all the fawns (triplets, twins, and two singletons). He was a magnificent specimen, but the neighborhood needs him to have a vasectomy.

    Once when our power went out, it was summer and I had the solar lights outside. I just gathered them up and put them around the house. The light diffused so much better than a flashlight or candles. Now I store the lights during the winter by a window to keep them charged, although I did get a generator in the meantime.
    • CommentAuthorbqd*
    • CommentTimeOct 4th 2014
     
    marche,

    it sounds like your neighborhood is a lot like ours. Overrun by deer. They eat the plants in my garden, and they are quite a road hazard, although they will be hiding for the next few weeks as bow and musket hunting season will begin in the next week or so, followed by regular deer hunting season at the end of the month. We have coyotes as well as wolves in the area, and the occasional black bear.

    I have also used my solar lights for emergency lighting in the summer time - I made a "bouquet" of them and put them in a vase in the middle of the table, and they gave off a substantial amount of light.

    I have looked into getting a generator, but if I get one I want one that would have the power to kick start our well (its on a 220 circuit). And that means more money than I am prepared to spend right now.

    Instead I will go ahead and get some emergency lighting, ($39.95 plus tax) and stick with my current system of emergency preparedness for everything else.
    • CommentAuthorFiona68
    • CommentTimeOct 4th 2014
     
    This has been a great thread. My DH does not live here anymore so I don't have to worry about him but I am totally unprepared for any power outages. I'm going to get a battery operated lantern & some of those solar lights. What a great idea to make a bouquet of them to light a room.
  9.  
    The solar lights are a great idea. I have a sunroom on the south side of the house that would be great for charging them. I do have a couple of battery operated lamps that we have had since our camping days. they use the big square 6-volt batteries and then have a bulb with a lamp shade on top.

    In the meantime I had a big whole house generator put in this last month. When we lost power last February because of an ice storm and had to get Ron out of here in an ambulance, I decided I had to do something for the future.. this unit will do the whole house including the well and furnace and probably the air conditioner. It runs on two big tanks of propane.
    • CommentAuthormyrtle*
    • CommentTimeOct 5th 2014 edited
     
    Mary, When you had to get your husband out of the house by ambulance, was it because he was sick enough to be hospitalized or was it because he could not stay in the house because he relied on electrical equipment? If it was the latter, what kind of facility did the ambulance take him to? And how did you arrange for that?
  10.  
    myrtle, The reason we had to get him out of here was that it got too cold. In 24 hours it got down to 50 degrees and he was confined to a hospital bed. He had to be uncovered and diaper changed several times a day. I couldn't imagine another day and another 20 degree drop in temp.. Also of course the hospital bed didn't work either so it was in its lowest setting and the electric air mattress went flat.

    Since he was on hospice I called them and they did all the work.. Most of eastern PA had had the same ice storm so few places had power. They found a NH 30 miles north and then found an ambulance service to take him. Medicare will pay for 5 days of respite so I didn't have to pay for the NH. I did have to pay for the ambulance, but just the base price, not the mileage fee.
    • CommentAuthormyrtle*
    • CommentTimeOct 6th 2014
     
    Thanks, Mary. I always wondered what happened to frail, disabled people when the power went out. Not everyone can survive in a makeshift "survival center," which is usually just a cot in a school auditorium or senior center. Thank goodness you had hospice to organize it all.
    • CommentAuthorCharlotte
    • CommentTimeOct 9th 2014
     
    Went yesterday to fill out the financial for the apartment. She didn't tell me she needed SS cards so have to take them back. Also, in all our discussions she never mentioned security deposit. I thought there might be a small one since these are for low income but it is equal to whatever the rent is. Moving into an apartment is already costing a lot since we don't have any furniture and I need to buy a cover for the MH - want to keep it from getting more oxidized than it is already. It will about deplete our meager savings.

    Night before last a neighbor lady phoned me at 9pm that she fell and can't get up. Took her to the ER where we found she broke both bones - tibia and fibula. We got home about 2am but it was an hour before I got to sleep. HB had trouble falling asleep too. I think it was from 5 hours of laughing all the time. As we were leaving the nurses told us they would miss us and thanked us for laughing so much! A nice change they said from people complaining.

    This is the lady that was going to use her pickup to haul the 2 chairs and mattress over. Well, since she can't drive and I won't borrow it, I need to find someone else. Problem is most of the guys we know in the park either have a cover over the bed or a 5th wheel hitch. So not sure what to do. I started cleaning today and realized how much has to be done before we store it - more than I want to do alone. Hb just sat watching TV as I dusted his chair which sits by the door and collects a lot of dust. I vacuumed but not where he sits. He actually got up and vacuumed his 'little corner'! Our rent is 30 days so not the same every month. Usually it is the 3rd or 4th but this month it worked out to be 11/1. I could have really used it to be 3rd since we can't get into the apartment until the 1st and I have to be out of the park by noon or pay another day. Because hb won't walk to use the park bathrooms I can't dump and flush the tanks and winterize until we are out of it. Logistic wise it is a nightmare especially with an AD spouse. I am about ready to say the 'h**l' with it and try again next spring.

    Was talking with the lady who broke her ankle about moving hb. She brought up good points that here we have enough people that know his condition and sort of keep an eye on him. Plus, who knows if there will be any socializing in the apartment building? I know I might meet women to say hi, but the manager said there are 11 other men between the 118 apartments in the two buildings. If I take him away from where he has 'freedom' to where he won't - he won't be able to go by himself even for a walk - will the change cause him to take a downhill plunge? Of course you all know me - part of me would not mind for that to happen so he can be placed sooner.
  11.  
    Sounds like you have a lot to deal with and a lot to think about, Charlotte. Keep us updated. I am rooting for you--what is the old saying? "Three moves equals a fire." I think when DH and I moved out-of-state in December, 2012, that if we hadn't done it then, I don't think I could have done it at all. It was hard on the interstate--I was so afraid he would fall trying to get into the restrooms at the rest areas. He did fall the first night in the rental house, but I was able to get him up. Memories, memories. It sounds like your husband is far more functional than mine was by the time we moved.
  12.  
    I think it would be harder on you and him, Charlotte, in an apartment. I know, even with Millie and being on the 2nd floor, it's a pain to take her out. If he can't get out for a walk by himself, he will be glued to you even more. Give it lots of thought.
  13.  
    Maybe I am not quite "getting" why you are moving, Charlotte. I may have missed some of your previous postings. But if the motorhome and the place you live are reasonably appropriate, and the apartment is going to have serious disadvantages…is it absolutely necessary to move? Like Vickie says, it sounds like you need to give it lots of thought.
    • CommentAuthormyrtle*
    • CommentTimeOct 9th 2014 edited
     
    elizabeth, I think that at one point Charlotte said that it had something to do with the cold weather.

    Charlotte, In your climate, is it more difficult or inconvenent to live in a motor home in the winter than it is in the summer?
    • CommentAuthorCharlotte
    • CommentTimeOct 9th 2014
     
    Reasons: for the future when he gets worse - there is no way I could help bath or toilet him in the MH. But then his sister and dad did not become incontinent until after they were placed due to wandering/running. Both could be gone in minutes. Maybe he won't until late in the disease too.

    There is a lot to take care of with the motorhome, things he always took care of; and in the winter his chair is up towards the front where a lot of cold air comes through the engine. The furnace is behind him and the heat does not reach up there. He refuses to put his feet on the heating pad like I do to keep them warm or wrap them in a blanket. He thinks his socks and slippers is sufficient even though when I feel them they are cold. In February I finally figured out if I point the electric heater sitting by him forward then it keeps it warm up there. If i stay, I will have to do that. Last winter I had the hot water on the outdoor shower that would freeze within a half hour when it got below 25, so I had to leave it running. If we stay this winter it will have heat tape wrapped around behind the water panel.

    Yes Elizabeth he is still high functioning. He just has no memory. As long as he stays in his routine in the morning he takes his Rx and supplements with no problem. Lots of time if I am doing laundry or over at the neighbors he will not remember to eat lunch.
  14.  
    Oh, right--I see that there are going to be huge issues of handicapped-accessibility and also maintenance issues. There is so much to think about, and of course (typical AD spouse situation) all the responsibility is on you. I will be crossing my fingers and saying a prayer that you find the right home for you and your DH.
    • CommentAuthorWolf
    • CommentTimeOct 10th 2014
     
    It took me years to get over the fact that my parents weren't rich or famous and were in fact mr and mrs nobody with nothing. They brought Wolfgang into recently victorian Canadian colonies who had just lost their children fighting us so it was a good idea to raise me there if you're using balls of twine instead of brains. I grew up with a German accent after the war in an igloo wanting to be British and have moppy hair but being prepared for a life in accounting. Phyciatrists literally salivate.

    I remember the first time I realized my parents were having the same argument the second time because they wanted to and began to understand that my sister may not actually be lucifer - she may just be completely mad. Even though there was a steady stream of nomads living in our house wih us from grandparents to aunts and uncles and even casual friends and their families, I doubt anyone would have noticed that my sister had horns and a tail anyways. I'd already learned that most adults were oblivious which is true when you're a kid. The fact is that unless you know everything you're oblivious about something so everybody is in a make believe world in some part.

    I began to realize the true horror after becoming convinced by my parents that we weren't jewish and I wasn't adopted. I was an alien. I couldn't see the imaginary lines men want to die over as more than quackery and am grateful to sports so the poor dears can have a healthier outlet for their testosterone. Where others saw riding off into the sunset together after which nobody anywhere knows what happens to you - I saw friends who could hardly get their pants down fast enough they were so in love.

    School prepares you for work. Puberty readies you for life (you got an inny - good luck!) and parenthood (sorry, no refunds). Little of that matters because life is over in five minutes anyways and it's hi grandma can you babysit the goblins I created mating with the swamp creature. It's hard to be relaxed about it even after a good long ride on the nephew with the hostility issues (saddle up!)which I suppose is better than the nephew who disappeared twenty five years ago and has never been heard from since. Brooding somewhere I imagine.

    I'll tell you what I know. My parents didn't give a rat's behind about my diplomas even though it was the mantra as I grew up with them. They wanted grandchildren. Sorry. But I also know that a lot of the times on our long drives (dad drove everywhere) when my parents were talking in the front seat and thought I was asleep - I wasn't. I was watching the lights in all the houses going by where every once in a while you could see people in the window and I would try and be in that room and imagine what it was like. Just like an alien might in a UFO except this was a 1960 Chrysler Windsor.

    And the prom queen who dumped me had three kids early, got divorced, and got really fat. You never know. And the couple who told me weren't supposed to be a couple back in high school because they were dating other people and weren't supposed to be together now either because they were married to other people. They've been not-together for longer than we've been married. Life's often like a Fellini movie directed by Mel Brooks I've noticed.
  15.  
    "Hi grandma can you babysit the goblins I created mating with the swamp creature" Hahahahahahahahaha. Do you have a spy camera trained on my family, Wolf?
    • CommentAuthorWolf
    • CommentTimeOct 13th 2014
     
    I'm noticing a lot of my frames of reference are way in the past. It makes sense in some ways to look to the more stable parts of our lives as we remember them I suppose with where I am in this. There's nothing much good to build memories on for nearly a decade now. There's some good things but both my parents and four close friends have died in that time (three below sixty) and Dianne is just hanging on. I, of course, am full of joy in this best of all possible worlds. I let a smile be my umbrella and pretty much dance my way through the numbers like in an MGM movie. Actually I think I saw that on TV and it had Danny Kaye in it in red pinstripes with an impossibly big smile and eyes bulging meaningfully dancing in white pats. So almost exactly like life isn't.

    I also think that's why so many references to movies and books and other anchors. Some are as negative as some are positive and if Glenn Miller is too painful perhaps Blueberry Hill is pleasant as an example. I have been thinking about Lord of the Rings again. I loved those books at one time and one of my favourite books Lucky Jim. I'm learning gradually to find things to put onto the revolving salad bar. The revolving salad bar is all those things that cross your mind you could be doing but you don't. That is done by your hippocampus by the way. Think of your hippo as Robin Williams in drag putting up an imaginary dress saying "What about this?? What are we saying here??? I don't think so." And on to the next thing you're not going to do. It's a busy life.

    I think real life is somewhere between Cinderella and Dorian Gray. No magic wand that transports us to ballrooms with princes (or princesses) and no destruction of one part to have the other. I think it's like my friend said a couple of days ago. "You never get over it" he sighed. He's happy in his newish relationship but they both share their own burdens in this. They talk about it which I think is good. I talk about it too but my cats are autistic.

    I truly believe that when we find ourselves so far out here the weapon of choice is a shotgun because realistically nothing is going to solve how we feel and so we want to hit a lot of different targets. That's logical because we don't know what we're hunting specifically which is to feel better and you can't shoot that, buy it, or ignore it. You can move into a new reality and if that's what you want I recommend it because I believe it works. I can't and that's really all there is to say about that.

    I wonder what I'm going to think about all this five years from now. I imagine I'll be having a fit over turning 70. (Yes I know. No one younger than you can have feelings about their age. Well then, neither can you.) All I know is that the snow isn't much more than a month away and then it's Grumpy Old Men time where I play it over and over on my computer without watching it because I don't put up the christmas tree yet but I'm building new traditions.

    Speaking of that, I want to thank Julian Barnes. I never heard of him before or since, but I read about his book in a review three years ago and it lamented how Mr Barnes losing his wife had turned him bitter where the book was one of his lesser works because his turning on life was tangible in it. I felt for him. But he did help me. So I stuck Mr Barnes on Blueberry Hill and I'm reminded how much I don't want to be him when I'm In The Mood.
    • CommentAuthorCharlotte
    • CommentTimeOct 15th 2014
     
    Well, after working hard to psych myself up, it was for nothing. Maybe not, I don't know. We were working a subsidized apartment. I turned the first two down, then accepted the third one. I just had our bank statements and SS cards to take to her. Plus I needed to get a spot to store the RV and figure out how to get what furniture we can remove from the MH over there. The lady who was going to is the lady that broke her ankle last week. All the other guys we know in the park either have a cover or 5th wheel hitch in the bed. Yesterday I sent her an email telling her how it was going. I just needed to get the 'yes' from the storage place I wanted to use. She evidently thought I was telling her 'no'. The only statement in the email that could possibly be taken as 'no' was:

    "Will keep you informed. I can bring the bank statements over but until I have a place I feel safe about to store the MH, I won't move out. If I have not by the end of the month (or sooner), I will stay here for the winter and start again next spring. If by chance you can't wait, I will understand. Just please let me know "

    I sent a followup email asking when would be the best time to drop the statements off and did not hear back. I had to go get my driver's license renewed, the stopped there. I walk in and she tells me "I already rented it. You told me no in your email'. I was shocked and told her I did not. She said I could wait until she was finished with the person she was with then she would reread it. We walked out. I had so worked myself up mentally dwelling on the positives for me which actually were many.

    When I got home she had sent me an email this morning but it came after we left at 10:30. She had left a message for me too telling me to call if I wanted to talk about it. I emailed her back:

    ""read my last statement 'if you can't wait' and that is probably what you took it to mean that we did not. I am sorry for the misunderstanding. I know how I felt when you told me the bottom apartment was not availble before saying the 3rd floor was, and how I felt today. I do not want whomever you said could have it to go through that.

    I look at one of two ways: either God was testing me to see if I would surrender and/or the person getting it needs it a lot more than we do at this time. I will just hunker in for the winter here and start new sometime next year. ""

    So now after all that, we will stay put. I need to start winterizing if we are staying. Hb did not want to move, so he will be happy - even though he does not remember. Such is life!!
  16.  
    Oh Charlotte, I am sorry, but maybe this is for the best for now. Sending (((Hugs)))
    • CommentAuthorLFL
    • CommentTimeOct 15th 2014
     
    sorry Charlotte. I think it was important for her to rent the apt and since you told her you couldn't commit until you found a safe place for the MH, she rented it to someone who could commit right away. Maybe it's a sign from god.
    • CommentAuthormyrtle*
    • CommentTimeOct 15th 2014
     
    Damn!
  17.  
    These things have a way of working out for the best. It wasn't meant to be, and there was a reason why not…even though you don't know what that reason is right now.
    • CommentAuthorFiona68
    • CommentTimeOct 15th 2014
     
    Charlotte, so sorry for your disappointing news. It's so hard to even consider such a major change in our routine, but to finally accept the change and then have the plans fall apart! Arghh!!! It's is so difficult to find the strength to pick up and carry on. Hope your winterizing goes well. It sounds daunting and I'm very impressed that you constantly shoulder such responsibility all on your own.

    All the best to you.
    • CommentAuthorMoon*
    • CommentTimeOct 15th 2014
     
    Charlotte,
    Sorry to hear the apartment fell through, but as others have said - things sometimes work out for the better.
    I know the winter months are harder for you in the motor home, especially trying to keep your husband warm.
    At least you won't have to deal with him trying to adjust to the apartment. Good luck with all your winterizing.
  18.  
    Charlotte, will she contact when a first floor apartment becomes avai. I know that lots of times it is hard to get an opening in the subsidized apartments. I usually call the local college and see if they have some students that like to earn extra money moving or hauling items for me. They do a good job and are happy to get the cash. Some of the storage rental places here have a few spots for motor homes and boats and the storage is reasonable, also they are behind locked gates. My concern is that when you need an apartment, you are going to need it right then and you will not be able to locate one. If this occurs during the winter is there a long term hotel/motel that you can move into? Sorry this the same concern I had for my parents when they were in their motorhome full time. I know that all you are doing all you can do to handle the approaching winter. Arms around you.
    • CommentAuthorCharlotte
    • CommentTimeOct 17th 2014
     
    The availability goes in phases I guess. There were the 3 that came up in late September. I told the guy at storage I will not need the spot now. There are many storage facilities in the area (too many to count) but I like the one where we have a storage unit already. If you enter on your card but do not use it to exit they consider you still in the facility. If you open you unit door but have not entered using your card, an alarm will go off. It has good safeguards which I like.

    We are in the process of winterizing now. Put the bubble foil on the windows yesterday. Filled the hose with heat tape with bleach water yesterday to sit overnight to sanitize it. Will get it put on today, water filter changed, heat tape will get put on hoses behind the water panel to hopefully stop the hot water on the outdoor shower from freezing. I also need to order more propane. Guess I am kind of waiting to see if maybe a place at the duplexes comes up. I am assuming those are rare. I like them as there are more couples there meaning men for hb to talk with.

    Life goes on.