I searched previous topics and couldn't find this. Since my husband got violently ill and threw up about a month ago, he refuses to sit more than 20 seconds at the dining table. He eats all his meals , or what he choses to eat which is about 1/3 of the meals, standing at the kitchen table. No matter how we distract or entice him with foods he likes he just won't sit down.
Has anyone else had this problem? If so how did you handle it? If not - any suggestions?
It didn't start with anything as dramatic as your husband's illness, but it happened. We let him stand. Occasionally he'd sit to eat, but seldom at the table. In the larger picture, it ended up meaning very little.
LFL - my DH is in a NH and the staff has been telling me for the past few weeks that they cannot get him to sit down to eat his meals. I have no solutions but think it must be a fairly common occurrence. In our case, my husband (65) has declined far faster cognitively than physically. His speech has now been reduced to incoherent syllables and general gibberish but his is still walking around (still remembers how to swear, too). I wonder if the standing is a control thing. My husband is also aggressive and agitated with staff and other residents and they also put this down to his frustration at being unable to communicate. Right now am in the process of attempting to hire a male companion for a few hours a week to give the staff a break. As everyone here knows, this is such a tough disease in all of its stages.
My husband (69) has periods where he will not sit at meals. I believe it's tied to his anxiety level due to initial placement in the facility, then the full moon cycle, when new people move into his Unit, plus his occasional sundowning. The staff have him on a menu of 'finger food' which includes sandwiches, tater tots, raw veggies, anything he can grab and eat walking around. If he will not sit to eat, they just leave his plate on the counter and call him over to take a bite as he walks by. When he does sit down, if the food is not in front of him, he will up and leave again. As soon as his food is gone, so is he! It's typical and, as Joy stated above, "it ended up meaning very little".
LFL, My DH would rather walk than eat. The NH staff take him out of his merrywalker and have him sit at table at the back wall and are able to feed him in about 15 minutes. He does not have ample room to stand up and take off walking. When I feed him at a small table in a common area after two bites he gets up and starts walking. He never becomes agitated when I get up and lead him back to his chair but after two or three bites he stands up and takes off again. Dietary always gives him double portions of everything because he burns up so many calories walking. He eats everything at every meal. It takes me 45 minutes to feed him and I am the one agitated afterward! I think I am being kind to feed him a couple of times a week but I doubt he cares who feeds him. This disease is stranger than fiction!
LFL - my DH started standing while he was eating about 9 months ago. He is in a Memory Care center now, and sits throughout his meals, but at home he would always want to stand. Joni
It is hard to get DH to the table. Then he doesn't understand, sit. He will sit on a seat with no food. He has sat in the same chair for our whole marriage. He will ask where do I sit. He to walks all day. I have tried to increase his calories. I wish he would sit for 5 minutes. I have noticed if we have a day out of the norm he is falling a sleep in his chair. So that is a plus. It stops the walking so late in the evening. I wish that I could place him. I am just putting it off. His ability to communicate is deteriorating quickly. I just don't want to deal with family in placing him. Hopefully by spring.
Thank all of you for your responses. I appreciate knowing we're not the only ones experiencing this behavior. It's not a big deal for me, but the live-in aides prefer that he sit at the table because it's easier to monitor what's he's eating (or not) how he's chewing and swallowing and if feeding him is necessary, it just easier.
I have no concerns if he wants to sit in the family room and eat or even if he needs to be fed while sitting on the couch. But if I have to feed him, it is also easier for me to feed him in the kitchen at the table.