Please help us. My husband has started over the last 3 months wearing layers and layers of clothes. He could wear up to 8 shirts and 3 or 4 pairs of trousers. The shirts are less of a problem although they are all buttoned up to different layers, some inside out and some back to front; T shirts on top of shirts, short sleeve on top of long. Trousers are much more problematic as he just can't get them off in time to get to the toilet. He wears them inside out and cuts the pockets because he can't get into them! He can also incidentally wear two pares of glasses too! He just will not adhere to any normal conventions and absolutely refuses to change or adjust anything, even to do up his flies. I have bought him pull up trousers which helps a bit. Hiding things just doesn't seem to work as he gets furious if he can't find things. He takes things from the washing basket and off the line while it is still wet. He even wears my clothes if he can't find his own. He won't let me help him dress or go anywhere near him while he dresses. Even if I manage to get him respectable he puts another smelly pair of trousers on top. This means we have virtually become housebound as I can't face going out with his trousers inside out, smelling of urine or him looking so ridiculous that people stare and laugh at him. I can't bare that. I know he will become housebound but do we really have to loose the time we have left because of this ridiculous problem? Has anyone please please faced this problem or found a way through? Please help!
wish I had some suggestions but I do know others have gone through this. Hopefully they will come along. I do think you will have to find a way to have less clothes available. Medication might even help.
You are facing a common problem. My DH also wears many layers of clothes, long johns under shorts, two T shirts, a shirt, and an sweater, even though it is summer time. And he insists on wearing a back brace most of the time, under his clothes, which can make buttoning his pants and doing up the fly an added challenge. For the most part, we are already housebound, so I let him wear what he wants. He wears Depends full time now, so getting everything undone so he can go to the bathroom is not an issue anymore. When we do go out, or when he goes to Day Center, I make sure that the outer layer is presentable - the inner layers might be stained but they have been freshly washed. He does resist having me help him but with a bit of patience I can guide him to help his appearance a bit.
I guess we are lucky in that we live in a small community, and so everyone knows that DH has dementia, and they don't laugh at him or ridicule him. And quite frankly, I don't let what other people think bother me and it certainly isn't bothering my DH.
So my suggestions are this - will he wear Depends so that no matter what he is wearing, you don't need to worry about it if he can't get his pants undone in time? Can you keep your own clothes in a separate closet so that he doesn't have access to them?
maybe you can get him into the one piece type jumpsuits from say Buck and Buck stores. they zip up the back and don't allow for taking on or off clothing. and with a depends on under you decide when to change. the over layering is common but you can just leave out say a couple of things freshly washed and lock up everything else. he may throw a fit but in time will adjust. this is where a bit of med to help keep compliant is a plus. as soon as the clothing is soiled retrieve and maybe store in a garbage bag out of sight til you can wash. again this is where a locked area comes in handy. if hes sundowning really badly then speak to his dr about upping his meds. they usually need extra dosings during the day to avoid over stimulations. maybe help folding towels or such would help give him something to do. good luck
juliedawa,sorry,but I had to laugh at your comment.How well I remember going thru all that..DH would complain he couldn't go to the bathroom(that was always his biggest complaint)I would find he had on 5 or 6 prs. of underwear on,some backwards, some inside out and some mine.I don't remember how long it lasted but I do know I had a lot of my clothe ruined with him struggling to wear them.Now that he is in NH I miss his funny actions.
Thanks folks One of the problems is we live in Fiji and don't have access to good incontinence products or much in the way of medical care. The other side is however that we do live in a small community and one that respects elders unlike many western countries. I have just tried to get my husband to take off his many layers of clothes to have a shower. It must be at least a week since he had one. We got off trousers and 3 shirts but that was as far as we could go. He is still wearing 2 pairs of underpants and 5 shirts!! He just completely refuses to take those off. He says he has never had a shower and isn't going to now! I am trying to get help in the morning to wash shower and shave him. I did manage to shave yesterday and cut his hair today. It takes hours though to do these things. I guess I will just have to persist. Thanks for your help and support.
juliedewa, my favorite saying is "this too shall pass". Before long this phase will pass and another annoying habit shows up,it's all part of this disease.
Don't forget they are often afraid of water. My husband who use to love swimming does not like to even go near it. And he will only shower on the days marked on his calendar.
I had trouble getting my husband in the shower until was getting totally incontinent. Then the home health agency suggested getting a shower stool and having the shower head on a hose. Then he would let me "wash his bottom." I would wet his feet first and then work upward. When he went on hospice the aide was getting him in the shower every morning. I think not having the water come down on his head helped a lot.