I looked up appearance in the search, and found as far as hygiene goes. My DH has a drawn look, blank look, eyes are dull, and is looking very thin. He eats well, but he is always wandering around the house or yard. He never sits. I do not think I can get him to eat enough calories. But, he is still in a healthy range with weight. I think it is more his physical appearance is looking older than what he is. He is 62. Sometimes when he is sleeping he looks ashy and like he is deathly ill in color. He is fine as far as all vital signs and blood test go. I was just wandering if anyone else could tell what they have noticed in a change in their LO. His hygiene is ok. I do not think he brushes his teeth everyday, or that he showers the way he would have before. He also does not see a problem with his hair. I have to make him get a hair cut now. He is putting his clothes on inside out and backwards. He really has trouble with his belt. He pulls it so tight and misses belt loops. That even makes him look thinner. But back to what changes in physical appearance has your LO had.
Jackie, we had the opposite regarding weight. When they put him on Seroquel 6 years ago he gained 30 lbs. Hungry all the time, particularly for sweets. So now he's carrying more weight than he should but I'm okay with it because his face looks healthier.
I have noticed that he is beginning to look older than he is (64) now and I think that's because he is less mentally aware and has more confusion. The professionals speak of the "flat affect" - where there is no emotion in their face or facial expressions. He has that sometimes. Eyes are frequently dull or expressionless. Adding to his "aging" is the fact that he now needs assistance walking since the broken knee last year, so he is very stooped when walking, even with a walker.
Vital signs are good (better than mine). I believe my husband is further along than yours (early stage 7), however he exhibited the same behaviors/issues you have with your spouse when he was first diagnosed (late stage 4 or early 5). Some days he even looked like a homeless man because he didn't shave, would NOT get his hair cut and wore the same dirty clothes each day. You're lucky, besides personality changes, his hygiene was one of the first changes I noticed.
I would say that you have hit the nail on the head as far as appearance goes. I have noticed lately that the "Alzheimer stare" is becoming more frequent, particularly when my DH is tired. He nods off with his mouth open and his tongue hanging out. He eats a good breakfast and lunch, but almost nothing for dinner. All his vital signs are wonderful and his blood tests are fine, and his weight is still within normal range. He does still like to get his hair cut, but I know that his hygiene isn't what it once was. He frequently goes without shaving. And well, as far as dressing goes, right now he is wandering around the house in pull ups with boxer briefs over top. It is extremely hot today, and we are not going anywhere until this evening, so if what he is wearing makes him happy, I see no reason for him to change. He used to be immaculately dressed, all the time, but now he frequently wears his clothes inside out and backwards, and my favorite clothing choice of his is a pair of shorts over long johns. He sees nothing wrong with wearing dirty clothes. He has difficulty tying a tie, but won't let our son pre-tie his ties for him. I do make sure that he is wearing appropriate clothes when we go out, but don't see any reason to "sweat the small stuff" when we are around the house.
Yes, his appearance has changed, and it is all part of the disease. I put my DH somewhere is stage 5/6
My husband looks good, even though he is probably stage 6, confused most of the time, and does not know where he is. He does not have that drawn appearance yet and his eyes are not vacant or blank looking. But if you look closely, his expression is very innocent, like a child’s. Otherwise he looks fine, but that’s because he is not in charge of his own hygiene and dressing.
For the last year and a half, I have been shaving his chin and head (which he wears bald), trimming his moustache, helping him brush his teeth, and setting up the shower for him. I have also had to re-dress him many times after he made mistakes, like putting his boxer shorts on over his slacks! If I did not supervise his hygiene and dress, his physical appearance would be bad.
For the last month, he has been in LTC so others do these things for him, but not as well as I did. So when I visit, I often spiff him up with the electric shaver, re-wash his head and face, and help him brush his teeth. I make sure to do all this very affectionately and he seems to enjoy the extra attention.
jackie, if your husband is not brushing his teeth every day, his hygiene is not OK. He needs to brush 2x per day. Dental problems go downhill very quickly. If your husband starts to get tooth decay or gum problems, you will be dealing with a very bad situation. My only big criticism of my husband's care is his dental cleaning. I am going to raise this issue at a care meeting that is scheduled for later this week.
Hi Jackie--You pretty much just described my DH! But in terms of personal care, everything has to be done with cue-ing and maximum assistance (i.e. we do it for him, pretty much), so between myself and the aides, we keep him appropriately groomed and dressed. Before he got this bad, and didn't need Hospice care and all this help, he used to always put on dirty clothes over and over again, and would do things like wash his hair with the conditioner instead of the shampoo.And just use whatever toothbrush was there, whether it was his or not. His vital signs are OK for the most part, but over the years he has lost forty pounds or so--that he did not need to lose. So yes, thin, drawn, blank, "not there" look a lot of times, very grayish, ashy complexion at times--his skin just seems to fall away at times--sometimes when I see him looking like an Egyptian mummy I do a double-take. But he is 89 and four months, so naturally he looks pretty old. But when I remember those sparkly, vivid blue eyes that almost glowed in the dark, and that vibrant, outgoing, social,fun and caring personality; and how sharp he always used to look--it's hard not to miss it, and to keep looking forwards, not backwards.
My. DH has not been able to tie a tie for about 2 years now. He to was always dressed to a T. He wears his going out shorts to bed and his golf shirts. I have to go through his clothes and pull out dirty clothes. He doesn't shave as well. I do get his teeth cleaned more often now. He lost a tooth 2 years ago. Had the worse breath. He also uses what ever tooth brush he can find. I would say he is stage 6. He also washes his hair with conditioner. I started taking it out of the shower. He could get dressed in 30 minutes. Now it takes an hour or more, with me coming up and cueing him. He too sleeps with mouth wide open.
My husband also mixed up the conditioner with the soap, so two years ago I removed everything from the shower but the body wash and a bar of soap. That worked fine, but before I showered I would have to retrieve the shampoo and conditioner from their hiding places and put them back after I was done. Only one toothbrush was on the counter next to the sink -- my husband's. Now that he is in LTC, one of my great luxuries is being able to leave the shampoo and conditioner in the shower and to leave my toothbrush on the counter.
I think that micro-managing every aspect of daily life like this is one reason why we are so stressed. Every little detail is a job in itself.
jackiem29 My DH also takes a long time to get dressed. If we are going out, I tell him that we have to be ready at least 15 minutes before we actually have to leave, and frequently I still need to cue him or help him get dressed. He bathes frequently and still brushes his teeth. He is a very private man and would not tolerate me standing in the bathroom "cuing" him about what he needs to do next. He doesn't like help getting dressed either, but at least he allows me to do that when he has given it his best shot and not been able to complete the task.
Myrtle I guess the stress of micromanaging our LO's daily life is one reason I allow my DH to wear what he wants if we are not going out in public. I know what I am dealing with ( a person with Alzheimers) and it doesn't bother me anymore if he decides to dress inappropriately. There are enough other things to worry about in our daily duties as care givers to get stressed out about what he decides he wants to wear.
Yeah, DH is always colder than everybody else these days, so he'll have the aide dress him in a T-shirt, cotton collared shirt, and long-sleeve light jacket--in the house, when I am in a tank top. I can't put the A/C any lower than 76 degrees, or he is freezing. I got him some elastic waist shorts, but he won't wear them--only will wear long pants. He does wear sandals, although he fiddles with them a lot, and drives me crazy. They are Teva's, and have the adjustable Velcro. For a number of years, I have just put my personal toiletries in a plastic grocery bag, and carry it back and forth to the bathroom. (Like in a college dorm or a hostel…so funny.) I would love to be able to leave my personal items attractively arranged in the bathroom…but alas, it is not to be. At least, not for now.
bqd, Good point about letting him wear what he wants. But my husband didn't WANT to wear his clothes backwards; he just put them on that way because he couldn't figure out how to put them on correctly. Anyhow, for the last three years, he went out in public every day -- four days a week to day care and one day to an entertainment activity with an aide.
I do let my DH wear what he wants and if they are inside out I do not correct him. The bad thing about taking everything out of the shower, I realize it isn't in there after I am in the shower and wet. I leave nothing out anymore. If my cell phone cord is out he takes it. He takes any cord he sees. We were at a hotel and he started to get the cords to the TV.
Elizabeth You mentioned him fiddling with his sandels, mine does his shoestrings all the time. He can still tie them some what. He also fiddles with his watch. It if course has the wrong date and time. He will take the trash can to the curb on Monday. They come on Friday. I will say we need to bring it back up. He says my watch says it's Wednesday. I said well it's Monday and still they do not come until Friday. I know minor things. It is a lot of stress. I just leave it down there now. When he says his watch says Wednesday that is not usually correct either. He can no longer read or write.
So many things, just more stress. I am learning to let it go. But right now he really needs a hair cut.
At first I started talking about physical experience. I just remembered another thing. His hair is really thinning. He gets bruised easier. All on his arm. His mom is 86 and his arms do like hers. I guess thinning skin. Could be from medication.
Regarding haircuts (at least for men), I was surprised at how easy it was to cut DHs hair with a set of clippers and a decent pair of haircutting scissors. I ended up also buying a barber's cape, some Clubman talc, and the brush to whisk his neck. (Sallys Beauty Supply stores have things for guys, too.) I just followed the instructions included with the clippers, DH liked his hair, and I've been doing it ever since…it would be impossible to get him to a barber. I am not a hairdresser in the least, but really got good results.
I don't want to continue hijacking the thread but elizabeth, I was so glad to know where I could get a barber's cape. I also had to start cutting DH's hair when getting him to a barber was really hard. I haven't been able to find anything suitable to drape him. Thank you for the information. It's hard to keep them looking nice in the later stages, jackie, but we keep trying.
Elizabeth and dazed I don't think you are hijacking the thread. I am always open to any suggestions and Input. I think we all feel this way. I am always checking on this site. It is a lifeline to me. Thanks to all of you. Coming here has helped me so much. I don't know that I could cut his hair. My mom cuts my dads. Maybe when he is less aware of things. Haha. Then. If I mess up he will not realize it.
This site has been so helpful to me in confirming that we do have a problem. My DH does not want a diagnosis because it would be "someone's opinion", so I've been learning all I can. These little tidbits of how your spouse looks and behaves are so helpful when they mesh with what I see. Does any other LO have super sensitivity to sound levels, to odors and to room temperatures? He has to investigate immediately.
IN the early stages, yes to sound and temperature. Temperature was so bad that I bought duck hunting boots for him to wear in winter as well as the heated inserts to wear in his shoes and gloves (heavy duty snow mobiling gloves). He was always cold and bundled up even when the temps were reasonable. I also know that sounds bothered him, although he didn't complain as much about that as the temps. Now that he late 6, moving into 7 these things are not such a problem. Of course, he is in an ALF, so the temp are mostly controlled and I only take him outside on nice days.
I have read that autonomic nervous system dysfunction can accompany AD so that would explain the temperature regulation issues. Sound and smell are senses that go directly into the brain, so a brain disease could definitely manifest itself there.
Sounds interfer with DH being able to focus. If there are several people I. A conversation and the. TV on, he cannot understand anything and will leave the room. Planes going over bother him. I think it is the sound. Now that he is in stage six, I realize it was one of the first thingsi noticed. He said he had trouble hearing. But it was background noise that bothered him. Smells not so much. Temperature not an issue. At my age it is temperature. Haha. I am 52 and always hot now. If he is cold it is because I punched the air down.