When I saw the topic from Coco that was just brought TTT by joan I initially thought that Coco had just posted. That was not the case; Coco- it has been awhile. As far as I can tell you last posted on the picnic topic.
I love you, I miss you and am concerned for you.
Sending those feelings, prayers, and affirmations to you!
I to just checked yesterday to see where coco was. I looked up her last post June 2. If I am right. I thought last post was the picnic also. Thinking of you too Coco
Hey guys...thanks so much for watching out for me. Funny....each day I have looked on here, I hesitated to post. However today was the day I knew I should, so good timing.
There is a reason. I have been in an escapist phase, a bit. Knowing that there is a tougher time to come, and sort of "on the mountain" right now. The valley looms, but it seems distant. Dado is in a good home, I am financially sound, healthy, and have been doing massive improvement projects on our place. You see, sometimes I think that when I air out my pain here, it brings it on more. And I have been a little numb, which is comfortable at this point. I am not crying and sobbing very often. But , I will.
However how I do love you all so. Yes of course I read here always. I tell myself that if it looks like I am needed, I will jump in. Joan you were so thoughtful to bring up my Lewy Body thread for another poster, thank you.
So an update. I still drive 3 times a week to Hilo, (150 mile round trip. ) (love my Kia soul) Dado is declining a bit slower, but declining no doubt. I think early stage 7. He has not any words at all left, oh how I miss that. He does still remember to pucker up and give me a small kiss when I force him lol. The fact that he has been taken off almost all drugs gives him a brighter look. I know he is in pain with his parkinsons, and arthritis, and in fact his other hand is now curling like the first one. He has the occasional good days where he can lift the food to his mouth, but mostly not. He has that trapped look, just horrible.
I HAVE SOMETHING REALLY IMPORTANT TO SAY!! HE KNOWS ME, THOUGH HE CANNOT SAY, HE KNOWS ME!! I had yet another aggravating person the other day that just will not get it! I had just told her how I would take Dado out, peel him in the car and have a little picnic with him, even though this was not long ago and he could not talk.
I told her, I miss that time so, just last year, I miss sitting with him. She said to me, "You mean, you miss how he USED to be." I am not sure why it made me almost explode, but I loudly replied, "NO! I did not say that!! I miss him NOW, for the guy he is NOW! He is STILL himself, he is STILL deserving of love" Sometimes I think they say these things because they miss hanging out with me, and want me to be "free." But mostly it seems that they just want to be "right", and they DON"T KNOW WHAT THE HELL THEY ARE TALKING ABOUT.
SO here I am. If there is anything anyone wants to know about Lewy Bodies, the link I left on that other thread is really good., or feel free to ask. Nice to see you all!
>>She said to me, "You mean, you miss how he USED to be." I am not sure why it made me almost explode,<<
I would want to explode as well. That's so close to someone saying "what you really feel", "what you really think". Especially when they cannot possibly know.
One thing that has been said to me is "you should be over all this by now". Yeah, ok, sure. As I read what you said about posting sometimes I have thought that maybe others on the forum think I very much should be over everything by now and maybe I am adding to my own pain as well as maybe their pain or apprehension.
I am glad to hear the financial situation is good. I wonder if you've gone back to the market and how your precious cats are doing. Whether you post or not, you are close in my heart.