I hate to start a new discussion because I need to vent (whine!), but that's what I'm doing. It's been an interesting time - clothes dryer is going on the fritz, the dishwasher is ready to go, the kitchen faucet just broke (need a new one now!), portable AC for the upstairs went out (got a new one), pipe in the basement leaking - and - a double appointment with a new dentist today for Dan & me (our former dentist died!). Not good news there - Dan has gum disease, cavities, one tooth needs to come out. He simply isn't going to cooperate with the instructions from the dentist (written, hanging on the bathroom mirror). He was a little out of sorts before we went, of course was on his best behavior at the Dr.'s office (you know, all cheery, friendly, etc.). He's really surly now, I don't even want to talk to him about his oral hygiene right now. At least I know now what is probably causing his VERY foul breath! Oh my goodness, but it's bad.
Just seems Murphy's Law is after us right now.....I'd like to run away from everything. I know everybody goes through these times in life, where everything piles on at once, just seems so much worse with his AD to deal with. He is of absolutely no use around the house anymore - I probably didn't realize just how much he used to do until it's no longer being done.
This is my evening for chocolate & Bailey's Irish Creme ---- ahhhhh....
I think I feel better now :)
My biggest problem is that all I'm seeing are $$$$$$ ! Money I don't even have yet (or ever) is going to be spent. Eyi-yi-yi (ala Ricky Ricardo).

I like that theme song!!! Enjoy your beer (I'm not a beer person, just occasional wine or Bailey's)!

Mim I have my wine and whine. Sorry everything is happening at once.

Mim,

Would your husband allow you to help him with the tooth brushing? For the last year, I have stood next to the sink while my husband brushed his teeth, and I've organized the process for him twice a day. He has a partial, so cleaning his teeth involves removing the appliance, brushing it, brushing the teeth, and then putting it back in.

I started by telling him that the dentist wanted us to try cleaning his teeth a new way so we were going to try it. I was never crabby, but treated it as though it was a fun experience. (I'd say, "Here's the water, now rinse. Now spit. Good job! Here's the brush! Here's the water again, now rinse. Good job!") I don't know if your husband would cooperate with this but if his problem is that he is too confused to organize the process (which was my husband's problem), it might work.

Myrtle, I doubt very much if he would cooperate with me. He's always had this "thing" about being babied, as he calls it. The note taped to the bathroom mirror - he thinks it's for me so I remember to brush my teeth!

LFL, it seems you've had many more overwhelming things in the last 2 years than we have! Although the wonderful guy we've had as a plumber just called, & he's gotten a different & better job! Now I have to find someone else & the kitchen faucet just keeps dripping away! And I mean really dripping (running!).

It will all work out somehow, this too shall pass, but it sure makes for stress!

mim many of us have dealt with the oral hygiene issues. maybe one of the electric toothbrushes would be easier? or if not, there are sponges on a stick I use with a little mouthwash and watered down hydrogen peroxide to clean the teeth. they are disposable and work well without a lot of hoopla to clean inside of mouth. if you can slip him an altoid (break it up)first? spraying inside the mouth with a bottle of diluted hydrogen peroxide will help with healing and cleaning out mouth if nothing else. if he does well with dentist then more trips once a month for hygiene may be needed. good luck. things do tend to pile up at once. so frustrating.

Yesterday took the car in for the 120,000 maintenance stuff. On the way home 'bells' went off, the dashboard lite up with warning signs and check engine, the computer screen (it is a hybrid) lite up with 3 different symbols. All the book said was get to a dealer as soon as possible. I managed to get the service guy but he had no idea and all the technicians had gone home. Took it in this morning to find out it was inverter fluid low which is one of the things they changed. They think an air bubble got in there and when it dislodged triggered the alarms. Now it is fine.

Lost it with hb today. The place has only been vacuumed once in the 4 weeks since my surgery. It took me 3 days to get him to do it 2 weeks ago. I have asked him at least 4 times in the last 3 days to vacuum because I am not suppose to until 4 weeks (which is today). I was mad as I started and he says he would do it. I yelled at him and he said I never asked him but he always takes my word that I did. I then yelled at him that he never wants to help me but has always been willing to help others. He said no and said you are always helping Patty and Paula which he denied. I told yes he does -they call and he runs. Then I told him I should be use to it since that is the way it has been most of our marriage!

I dread tomorrow and need to change my mindset before then. Last week DIL asked if I would watch the kids while her and a friend go to serve my son divorce papers. I told her I would but the kids had to understand no jumping on grandma and I can't do a lot of physical things with them. They will spend a lot of time in the pool which means I will be sitting there for the hours they are in the pool.

oh well, such is life!

abauche,

I am sorry for your loss- please accept my sympathy.

Mim,

Maybe I am mentioning something you already know....my husband developed terrible periodontal problems with his FTD. His periodontist felt that the medication Dilantin (phenytoin, or close) was the main cause. My husband's lack of interest certainly didn't help either. I don't know if this med could be a factor for you but I just thought I would throw it out.

I also used the sponges divvi mentioned. Response to a Rx rinse was also favorable. I could look up the name of it if you are interested. He had used a battery operated brush for years but as the disease progressed the sound aggravated him. Oh- although it is not Rx or hydrogen peroxide based, he always liked the flavor of cinnamon rather than mint and would pretty regularly use Act.

HTH.

Chardonnay, Bailey's, chocolate, beer, whatever gives us some pleasure.....

Hi, LFL,

My pleasure! It is chlorhexidine gluconate. The brand name is Peridex; it has been available as a generic for several years. I have heard and read complaints about the taste. I actually like it, but then I don't mind rinsing with hydrogen peroxide either. It is supposed to be used twice a day but my husband never used it that often. The other main consideration is that nothing should be consumed- food or drink- for an hour after use. Mostly because of that he would only use it at night even "before" as he had to get to Starbucks or the equivalent in the am.

I remember that I would dip the sponges that divvi referred to in it (for him not myself). It is no Cinnamon Act, that's for sure.

I never thought of the meds, myself, but the dentist has the list of them. Maybe the next visit, I'll ask him.. as far as the rinse goes, this dentist & his assistant want both of us to use Listerine Zero, a very light purple color, to help combat the whatever is going on in his mouth. Dan has become very lax about his oral hygiene. Never had much problem with his teeth & now just doesn't think to take extra care. If he doesn't, I can just see all of his teeth falling out! There will be NO dentures!
At least my kitchen faucet will be fixed tomorrow, bought a new one today. I've always loved new things for the kitchen, but not under the circumstances I find myself in now! Oh, and the freezer in the fridge was kind of defrosting for some reason - had to throw some things away, had to bake some loaves of Rhodes bread dough since they were thawing in the freezer. At least, Dan helped me unload the freezer & take things to the bigger freezer in the basement. Thank goodness the meat was still okay. The check engine light has come on in my car, too, Charlotte - oy, it never ends! (the freezer seems to okay now, froze the ice cubes again).

Thanks for all the suggestions concerning the dental issues. This has been bookmarked (as have many!) for future reference.
I guess life goes on, bad days & all. No Baileys tonight, took an anti-anxiety pill earlier. That will be enough, as I would like to wake up in the morning! At least I think I would like to - some mornings, I wonder!

You're all so appreciated - thank you.

Charlotte, I don't know if it is something that makes sense for you, but it may be time to pay someone to come in and do a little light housekeeping. I've started paying for four hours a week of a private aide, and, unlike the Hospice aides, she will do dusting, vacuuming, laundry, clean the sinks…although care for DH comes first, of course. She started last week, and I was astonished what a difference it made just to have things dusted and kitchen all wiped up and shiny, and floors done. It seems like I should be able to keep the house up myself--it is a small place--but fatigue and constantly being "on deck" for DH seems to take a toll. And you've just been going through your own ordeal, so it's worse. In terms of childcare, we have just found that I can't do much and care for DH, too. It is one of the real life issues--just another Alzheimers loss--that we AD caregivers can't have as much involvement with the grands as we would like. I hate this disease--it messes up family life.

Happy to hear your day went well, Charlotte. Hope that nose isn't too sunburned!