I've been feeling depressed and tired the last week or so. Could be because a) the death of my friend, b) my activities are still somewhat restricted and I am still fatigued because of my recent surgery c) DH continues to deteriorate and has also just been diagnosed with glaucoma AND cataracts d) I am not sleeping well e) we have made several trips to the city in the last week for appointments (3 hour round trip) f) any combination or all of the above.
I know that my depression and fatigue have reduced my patience level in dealing with my DH and I find I am getting frustrated very easily by his actions or lack thereof.
My DD suggested that if her Dad was getting me down that badly that I start looking at placement. I don't think I am quite ready for that step, although I have started to look at what is available in our area.
Instead, today I called the social worker, to see if I could arrange for my DH to go into respite for one week each month beginning in September. I chose weeks for respite that would allow me to go back to activities that I enjoyed before I became housebound with my DH - groups that meet once a month, etc. I have really missed these activities, and I want to get back into them before I am forgotten, and while I will still be welcomed back. I want to be a whole person again.
The social worker called back at 5:30 this evening with the good news. All of my requests from September through December have been granted! I can't believe how that news has changed my attitude this evening! I didn't even get upset when my DH "leaked" on one of our upholstered dining room chairs!
So I have not only my five days of respite next week to look forward to, but I am going to get a break every month in the fall. And perhaps, my DH will get better accustomed to being away from me, which will help when he is finally placed.
I loved my respite time last year and it gave me the rest I needed. Enjoy every moment. You may want to take some of that time to consider your DD's concern for you. She may have a point.Take that time to check out LTC in your area with out him. It's much easier and less stressful. For some of us placement is the answer for our health, but it must be difficult to make that decision. Kevan made it for us on his own. I would likely have had a hard time making it on my own.
Yes jazzy for some of us placement is the answer. I had to do it to save myself. Very difficult though. As I have said many times we cannot save them but we can save ourselves. God bless to all
Bonnie - Great news! have a plan, get away, stay home, do catch up or nothing....what ever YOU want to do. I think having respite will help with the transition for you when the time comes for permanent placement. You sure do feel like a fish out of water when they are first gone.
Next week for my respite I am taking a trip with a friend.
My current plans for my respite weeks in the fall is to stay home, do the social things I have been missing out on for the past year (none of the groups meets in the summer months), have lunch with friends, and do some of the fall cleanup chores that are easier to accomplish without my DH underfoot or having to check on him all the time to make sure he isn't getting into any trouble. I know my respite time will fly by!