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    • CommentAuthormyrtle*
    • CommentTimeJun 19th 2014 edited
     
    I had a melt-down last night and still have not recovered.
  1.  
    Hit the IGNORE button, obviously she does not have a clue in her selfish head!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  2.  
    myrtle, After a long run of trying to inform and facilitated my DH's family members' understanding of his condition, I finally realized it wasn't my job to guide them, help them cope, etc. My job was to take care of DH. IF I could provide info or contact (to his benefit) I'd try.

    I think you have more than plenty to do taking care of the documentation and monitoring your DH's care. I would ignore the request, and if there should be any further contact about it, just tell her, there'll be no changes at this time. Nothing is owed her, even in explanation.
  3.  
    I don't know...I'd just nicely explain that because of costs and inconveniences involved in switching, you think you'd better stick, and you hope very much that she'll find something that works for her.
    • CommentAuthorCharlotte
    • CommentTimeJun 19th 2014
     
    or just send a message back ' I like where I am at'.
    • CommentAuthormyrtle*
    • CommentTimeJun 19th 2014 edited
     
    Thank you all for understanding.
    • CommentAuthorLFL
    • CommentTimeJun 19th 2014
     
    I think I would just tell her that you prefer not to switch, you're happy with you agent, carrier, coverage or whatever or as Emily* says, it's too inconvenient to switch and that you have more than enough to do that is essential to your husband's good care and he's your priority.
  4.  
    Myrtle, It looks to me as though the consensus of our responses to your question are that whether you ignore her request, or respond politely, the answer is "No." The fact she's offering an alternative policy for you to buy, to benefit her (ultimately) just backs up the fact she has no real concern for your situation. YOU ARE NOT RESONSIBLE FOR HELPING HER. Family or not, you are first and foremost responsible for your DH and yourself. You have no need of any changes or additions to your financial arrangements.

    It's unfortunate that this happens among family. I dealt with criticism and even outright interference for years, because my DH needed some contact with family even though they were a major thorn in my side. Thy were all local. Other than one 5 min call a month after his memorial service, I've heard nothing from any of them since (almost 2 years) and I'm doing just fine.

    Your job is hard enough. Don't let them add to it.
    •  
      CommentAuthormary75*
    • CommentTimeJun 19th 2014
     
    I've been in the same situation, and I can't add to Carosi's wise words: "Your job is hard enough. Don't let them add to it."
  5.  
    If I were to hazard a guess, she is wanting you to switch your homeowners and auto ins to USAA which is a good company. It is ins that is open to military personnel or even retired or prior AND once that person is insured with USAA, then family members also benefit by being able to also have it.
    We have our cars insured with USAA and have had homeowners with them in the past. WE have always had good service with them. I think that is what she is asking you to consider doing.

    When you get some time, you might google USAA website and look at it for YOUR future use but for her to ask you to take on this burden is not thoughtful. She may not be meaning to be difficult, she might think she is being helpful. Yes she will benefit as well as the son and other daughter should they so choose. And it should always be there for you...all you might need is a copy of your husbands DD 214, retirement document or something to prove his military service which you already have inasmuch as you are getting VA benefits now.

    All that said, I share for YOUR benefit, not hers...Jewelery, what kind of jewelery does SHE have that she needs coverage? Knowing YOU don't have that kind of box of gems but SHE does makes her sound, after all the good relationship history, makes her sound self serving. This I don't like hearing. So if and when you are so inclined to check out USAA do it for YOU and then, keep it quiet.
    • CommentAuthormyrtle*
    • CommentTimeJun 19th 2014 edited
     
    Thank you, everyone, for your advice. You are right.
    • CommentAuthorxox
    • CommentTimeJun 19th 2014
     
    Respond to her as to someone with dementia, that you have no time to look into now but perhaps later.

    Yes, she seems concentrated on her own interest, even if she thinks this is a simple thing for you, which it isn't.

    I have heard good things about USAA but never looked into it since I'm not eligible.
  6.  
    I'm just agreeing with what everybody else said. But in terms of you yourself…if you are eligible for USAA, it is a good company. I'm a veteran, and so are first husband and DH, so my car insurance, homeowners, and valuable personal property (we have a good piano) are all and have always been USAA. You might want to look into it sometime, just for completion. (But don't tell your stepdaughter. lol)
  7.  
    elizabeth,
    From one retiree to another veteran, Hi! My husband was retired with 33 years and was Priority One, Purple Heart Awardee 100% VA disabled...flew jets in Viet Nam. I retired on 30 as well , he in 1980 and me in 1999.
  8.  
    Hi Mimi--DH is a WWII Army vet--was sent to Guadalcanal as a teenager--doesn't say much about it--but the family has told me that he stuttered for two years after he came home from the war. I guess it must have been stress, or PTSD or something. DH is not a stutterer. My first husband was a B-52 pilot--never saw combat--although flying the Buff is challenging enough in and of itself! We split up over issues related to our disabled, eldest DD, but as I tell both daughters, he is a "flawed diamond." I was a nurse in the USAF, and am considered a Vietnam-era vet, even though I only served stateside as an OB nurse. So my service was nothing different than I would have been doing as a civilian anyway. I was separated from active duty when I became pregnant and the AF could not station me and first husband together--so spent many more years as a military wife than as active duty. Thanks to you and your husband for your service--a Purple Heart!!--God bless him.
    • CommentAuthormothert
    • CommentTimeJun 22nd 2014
     
    Besides, changing insurance companies, and probably this one even more because it will require your hubby's military information, is time consuming and a royal pain in the arse. As everybody has said, you have more than enough to do and don't need to take this on to make her life better. I know we don't need to take responsibility for our husband's children's apparent lack of concern for their own father = but it's hard not to take it personally. I always tell myself not to have any expectations of his daughters, but still I do. It's a constant love/hate scenario and their generation is all about themselves. So, I vote in favor of just sending her a "not interested" email and plan on never hearing from her again. How bad can that be?